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   Author  Topic: Christmas Memo (came in E-mail)  (Read 416 times)
Ray
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Christmas Memo (came in E-mail)
« on: Dec 18th, 2007, 1:36pm »
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Employee Christmas Party MEMO
Christmas Party
December 1...To All Employees
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of
spiked eggnog and a small band will play traditional carols...feel free
to sing-along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as
Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree.
Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time. Please
remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10 limit.
Merry Christmas to you and yours,
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
_______________________________________________________________________
December 2...To All Employees
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and
often coincides with Christmas (although not this year). However, from
now on we're calling this party our Holiday Party. The same policy also
applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There
will be no tree or Christmas carols sung.
Happy holidays to you and yours.
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
_______________________________________________________________________
December 3...To All Employees
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
your request but please remember that if I put a sign on the table that
reads "AA Only" you won't be anonymous any more.
In addition, we'll no longer be having a gift exchange because union
members feel that $10 is too much money.
Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
_______________________________________________________________________
December 7...To All Employees
I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest
away from the dessert table and for pregnant members to sit closest to
the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with gays; each group will have its own table. And, yes,
there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.
Happy now?
Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
_______________________________________________________________________
December 9...To All Employees
People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
play Santa Claus. Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be
"Satan." There is no evil connation to our own little "man in a red
suit."
Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director
_______________________________________________________________________
December 10...To All Employees
Vegetarians! I've had it with you people. We're holding this party at
Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just sit
at the table farthest from the "Grill of Death" as you call it, and
you'll get salad bar only including hydroponics tomatoes. Tomatoes have
feelings too, you know. They scream when you slice them. I can hear
them now. I hope you have a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you
hear me?
The Bitch from Hell
_______________________________________________________________________
December 14...To All Employees
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime management has decided to cancel
the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with
full pay.
Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
 
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Re: Christmas Memo (came in E-mail)
« Reply #1 on: Dec 18th, 2007, 3:36pm »
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Thanks Ray.  Funny stuff, there.
 
It would be funnier if it weren't so true.  Undecided
 
 
 
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Re: Christmas Memo (came in E-mail)
« Reply #2 on: Dec 18th, 2007, 4:08pm »
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You just need a private company with ball enough to call Christmas what it is; Christmas.  Honest to God I just can't believe the political correctness in the world today.  It's a slippery slope.
 
Thanks for sharing Ray.  It was a funny read.
 
-Dennis-
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Re: Christmas Memo (came in E-mail)
« Reply #3 on: Dec 19th, 2007, 10:53am »
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I considered writing a long editorial about the reason for the season, but Tony was so eloquent in another thread.
 
No matter what you believe, Christmas is the one day a year that is dedicated to celebrate the day that Jesus was born.  It is a pity that "political correctness" has been elevated to such a high pedestal and that so many do not have a place for God.
 
Ray
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*While we have the time, let us do good*

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Re: Christmas Memo (came in E-mail)
« Reply #4 on: Dec 19th, 2007, 1:22pm »
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It is also a shame that corporate greed has turned Christmas into an extravagant, spend beyond your means, "Gimme Fest" rather than a simple celebration of the birth of Christ.  
 
It's pretty much the same for every other holiday on the calendar, but Christmas is the worst.
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Re: Christmas Memo (came in E-mail)
« Reply #5 on: Dec 19th, 2007, 3:56pm »
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laugh laugh laugh
 
But ever so true. The political correctness has arrived to our junior highs as well...  Undecided
 
It's kind of funny that in a country in which about 85 per cent of the population has the same faith which celebrates Christmas, some schools feel the urge to alter the centuries old traditions because of few individuals who do not care about attending the festives to begin with. Still, almost every year some newspaper picks the topic up and it's discussed at length what's the appropriate thing to do.
 
Back in my junior high days something like that would have never happened. Things have changed a lot since then.
 
I do think that it's important to embrace the diversity and understand where others are coming from, but still common sense should be used. The majority still wants to sing those Christmas Carols with Christian content like it has always been, and have short speech about the true meaning of Christmas, and on my opinion it should be allowed - that's a right as well.
 
Sanna
 
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