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Groov
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Heres a fun little tutorial
« on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:11pm » |
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I like #'s 10 & 17 best 
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PARABELLUM
I do look like my avatar...But I swear to God I am not a bag of aqua colored french fries
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"
The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others!!
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Jonny
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #1 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:13pm » |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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LeLimey
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #2 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:23pm » |
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Get over yourself dicksplat - 
THE GOOD HUSBANDS GUIDE
* Always make getting and keeping a full-time job with regular raises, benefits, bonuses and the potential for prestigious advancement your number one priority in life. Remember always that you have a wife and children who need your financial support, and that it is your responsibility to provide for them to the best of your ability.
* Always arrive home refreshed and happy - put your bad day or your confrontation with your boss, the traffic, the crowds or the physical exhaustion you might feel aside and try to arrive home as cheery and lighthearted as you possibly can. Your wife has been struggling with the children and the housework all day, she does not need to hear about how bad your day was.
* Be prepared to help with household chores when you get home - let your wife relax or talk on the phone since she has been dealing with these problems all day. Make supper for her often, and offer to clean up afterwards so that she may rest and feel appreciated.
* Do not bore your wife with stories of the troubles you faced at work today. Remember that you are lucky to have a job and that many other men would be happy to trade places with you. Remember that it is not masculine to complain or let worries trouble you. Your job is to provide, and whatever you must go through to achieve this is part of your lot in life. A good husband knows that he is lucky to have a wife at all, and that a woman wants a strong, silent man she can depend on.
* Never expect your wife to have contributed to the smooth operation of the household. She has had a busy day and cannot be expected to provide meals or clean clothes for you. Never insult her by asking her to do such things while you're out earning money. Be mindful always that your wife may think you are being sexist if you ask her to help make a home for your family as part of your partnership.
* Be prepared to account for your whereabouts every minute of the day, including an explanation as to why you were away from the phone when she tried to call or why you were unable to chat with her for twenty minutes when she did get through to you. You must always put her interests first, and be mindful of her natural suspicion about her husband's activities. A good husband knows that men can't be trusted, and that a wife has every reason to believe you will hurt and humiliate her.
* Do not grumble or gripe about handing over your paycheque to her - she is in control of your finances and knows better than you how to spend or invest your money. Never assume that the money you earn is yours to do with as you will - you have a family to think about now, and their needs must always come before your own.
* Listen avidly to your wife's complaints. She leads a hectic life and needs to feel listened to and appreciated. Never suggest ways in which she might solve whatever problem is vexing her. You need only listen; your suggestions are likely insensitive and unfeeling anyway. And do not counter with complaints of your own. She would love to have the chance to leave the house and work, she does not need to hear about how difficult your job is.
* Be prepared to give up your weeknights or weekends to whatever projects or socializing your wife has in mind. If she has determined that cleaning out the garage or painting the upstairs bathroom would be the best use of your time, never complain that you would like to relax or pursue personal interests instead. She has every right to expect that you will make repairs to the house or help her redecorate during your time off. Do not be so selfish as to ask for personal time. You are a family man now, you do not have the luxury of personal time.
* Always be prepared to take over in caring for the children when you get home from work. Your wife has been busy all day and deserves some quiet time. Allow her to watch television or chat with her friends on the phone, go shopping or simply relax. They are your children too, and it is unfair of you to expect to come home from a twelve hour day and simply put your feet up.
* You are just a man. A good husband knows his place.
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Groov
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #3 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:29pm » |
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Somehow I knew the old battle ax would retort 
CHen's 12 O'clock Cap'n ...fire the anti-estrogen missiles
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PARABELLUM
I do look like my avatar...But I swear to God I am not a bag of aqua colored french fries
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"
The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others!!
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #4 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:31pm » |
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"A good wife always knows her place"
Yep. At the head of the House, AND the Senate.
Most likely as the head of the household too, seeing's that the husband has probably run off with a bimbo he met on-line and can't be bothered to help out with mundane things like supporting the family. 
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Groov
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #5 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:36pm » |
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Remember Helen: "men are hungry after work" You MUST have dinner ready.
Even something simple like Prime rib, baby carrots with garlic butter and twice baked potato...don't put too much cheddar... a man doesn't like his potato too cheesy. And always put a garnishment on the side.
We don't like to come home to a hastily prepared meal.
Also, if you could get his slippers and pipe ready, that will be all for now.
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PARABELLUM
I do look like my avatar...But I swear to God I am not a bag of aqua colored french fries
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"
The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others!!
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LeLimey
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #6 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:43pm » |
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Just remember to keep your fork Dave - SO YOU CAN BLEEDIN FORK OFF YOU DIM- WITTED NEANDERTHAL! 
Oh- and drink your coffee sweetheart *smiling sweetly*
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Groov
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #7 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:45pm » |
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Why does this coffee taste like curry? hmmmm.....
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PARABELLUM
I do look like my avatar...But I swear to God I am not a bag of aqua colored french fries
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"
The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others!!
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Jimi
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #8 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:01pm » |
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How did my generation go so wrong. It changed under my watch. For you younger guys, I am sooo sorry we let it get to where it is today. ...sigh... 
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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Groov
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #9 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:02pm » |
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I want to know the web address to the site where you can get a bimbo to run off with.
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PARABELLUM
I do look like my avatar...But I swear to God I am not a bag of aqua colored french fries
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"
The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others!!
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George_J
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #10 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:06pm » |
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Quote:| Be a little gay, and a little more interesting for him. |
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I find that slightly troubling.
Best,
George
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| « Last Edit: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:07pm by George_J » |
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
Wearing the tangerine suits
And their harlequin eyes.
The pain they inspire
Draws in harmonica melodies
And the feathers of birds
Which flame up at their touch.
It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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LeLimey
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #11 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:08pm » |
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on Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:02pm, Groov wrote:| I want to know the web address to the site where you can get a bimbo to run off with. |
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Here you go honeybun - this is where YOU belong 
http://www.myspace.com/the_ex_daves_club
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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artonio7
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #12 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:13pm » |
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on Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:31pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
"A good wife always knows her place"
Yep. At the head of the House, AND the Senate.
Most likely as the head of the household too, seeing's that the husband has probably run off with a bimbo he met on-line and can't be bothered to help out with mundane things like supporting the family.
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and maybe even the presidency in 2008
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Hope! http://artonio7.com
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Redd
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #13 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:48pm » |
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Oh Dave...you really stepped in it this time.
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #14 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:54pm » |
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Quote:| I want to know the web address to the site where you can get a bimbo |
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sometimes it's right under your nose, other times you have to search for about 2 seconds. They're everywhere Dave. Unfortunetly 
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Groov
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #15 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:58pm » |
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on Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:48pm, Redd wrote:
Oh Dave...you really stepped in it this time. |
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Doing what I do best
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PARABELLUM
I do look like my avatar...But I swear to God I am not a bag of aqua colored french fries
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"
The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others!!
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Groov
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #16 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:59pm » |
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on Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:08pm, LeLimey wrote:
Yawn, I thought you would send me to the "dominatrix lesbian biker chic" site.....
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PARABELLUM
I do look like my avatar...But I swear to God I am not a bag of aqua colored french fries
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"
The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others!!
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LeLimey
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #17 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 7:03pm » |
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Redd that pic is effin hilarious!
Dave - I'm not sending you to a site you go to all the time silly arse!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #18 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 7:10pm » |
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Quote:| Redd that pic is effin hilarious |
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It really is.... I can't tell you how many times I've sat at my computer and did just exactly THAT.
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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HeadhurtinMama
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #19 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 7:26pm » |
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May I take a moment to point out that Dave is single, so perhaps he needs to rethink this a bit...
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Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
Wake me up when September ends
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LeLimey
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #20 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 7:28pm » |
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Sheesh Bridget!! What are you doing?!!
What have other women done to you that you'd want to inflict a bloody "Dave" on them?!! 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Brew
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #21 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 8:17pm » |
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on Nov 22nd, 2007, 5:23pm, LeLimey wrote:| * Do not grumble or gripe about handing over your paycheque to her - she is in control of your finances and knows better than you how to spend or invest your money. Never assume that the money you earn is yours to do with as you will - you have a family to think about now, and their needs must always come before your own. |
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Because it's the man's job to earn the money and the woman's job to spend it - she's just better at her job than we are at ours.
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Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
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Brew
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #22 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 8:18pm » |
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on Nov 22nd, 2007, 6:13pm, artonio7 wrote:
and maybe even the presidency in 2008 |
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Because she is, after all, the smartest woman in America.
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Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #23 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 8:29pm » |
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THIS:
Quote:"men are hungry after work" You MUST have dinner ready.
Even something simple like Prime rib, baby carrots with garlic butter and twice baked potato...don't put too much cheddar... a man doesn't like his potato too cheesy. And always put a garnishment on the side.
We don't like to come home to a hastily prepared meal.
Also, if you could get his slippers and pipe ready, that will be all for now.
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Could be a REALLY big deciding factor in why Dave is single. Methinks he'll be getting his own dinner, slippers and pipe for a looong time to come.
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Redd
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Re: Heres a fun little tutorial
« Reply #24 on: Nov 22nd, 2007, 8:30pm » |
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I found that gif a while ago and knew it would come in handy someday.
I feel that way alot of the time 'round these parts.
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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