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Topic: Swearing at Work - New Policy (Read 273 times) |
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BarbaraD
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Swearing at Work - New Policy
« on: Nov 9th, 2007, 7:51am » |
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Swearing At Work Policy
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this
type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however; realize the critical
importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b__ch.
3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!
6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.
7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f____ing problem.
 TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?
9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.
10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the f_ __ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.
12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.
13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.
14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.
16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?
18 ) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Human Resources
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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LeLimey
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Re: Swearing at Work - New Policy
« Reply #1 on: Nov 9th, 2007, 7:56am » |
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Phew - I can still say Bollocks with impunity! 
Of course I NEVER forget my "Genteel Texan 101" and I say "Thats nice" instead of "who gives a f**k?" all the time 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Gator
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Re: Swearing at Work - New Policy
« Reply #2 on: Nov 9th, 2007, 8:45am » |
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 Damnit, Barb! All this time I've been calling Helen an aggressive go-getter and she's been thinking it a compliment. Now she knows what that meant.
I suddenly feel the need to get out of town for a while. 
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Kevin_M
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Re: Swearing at Work - New Policy
« Reply #3 on: Nov 9th, 2007, 8:50am » |
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Quote:Thank You,
Human Resources |
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Instead of:
F___ OFF!
Try saying:
I don't think you understand. I said F___ OFF!
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cosmicfunkfather
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Re: Swearing at Work - New Policy
« Reply #4 on: Nov 9th, 2007, 10:01am » |
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Quote:
Thank You,
Human Resources
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 I say F*** it
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To not know is bad, To not wish to know -- is worse.
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seasonalboomer
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Re: Swearing at Work - New Policy
« Reply #5 on: Nov 9th, 2007, 10:04am » |
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Try this:
"We're looking at dealing with some downside to the proposed solution"
Instead of:
"We're f&*cked!"
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artonio7
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Re: Swearing at Work - New Policy
« Reply #6 on: Nov 9th, 2007, 10:24am » |
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I guess there must be something similar for management as well.
Say: You're doing a great job. Keep it up.
Instead of: Here's a banana... now get back to f--k'n work.
with warm regards,
Tony
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Rosybabe
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Re: Swearing at Work - New Policy
« Reply #7 on: Nov 9th, 2007, 11:19am » |
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Charlie
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Re: Swearing at Work - New Policy
« Reply #8 on: Nov 9th, 2007, 6:15pm » |
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So the rectal apertures have put you on the fecal regisiter?
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Redd
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Re: Swearing at Work - New Policy
« Reply #9 on: Nov 9th, 2007, 8:04pm » |
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You know you have an HR Director with a good sence of humor, when you send this to her in email and she laughs hysterically, and takes a break with you outside for a smoke.
Carol is a cool lady I like her alot.
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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