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Topic: I think my mother in law is the devil (Read 1045 times) |
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Bethany1
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I think my mother in law is the devil
« on: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:00pm » |
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Seriously. There really is no other explanation for her to say the things she does. I just don't get people and how mean they can actually be.  
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Mosaicwench
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #1 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:03pm » |
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Then you must be my long lost sister-in-law because we have the same mother-in-law!!
How my wonderful husband came out of that family I will never understand. 
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Brew
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #2 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:03pm » |
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She says the things she does because she thinks you are, too.
Not meant to be hurtful. I have a little experience in the MIL business. I had one until she died in 1985. My wife has had one for 25 years. It didn't take me long to realize that my MIL was a far better person than my own mother. She has no clue what an incredible woman I'm married to.
As long as you don't think your husband is the devil, you'll be just fine. Just ignore her. You'll never measure up to her impossibly high standards, so stop trying.
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Brew
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #3 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:04pm » |
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Well, speak of the devil (pun unintended).
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Ree
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #4 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:17pm » |
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Mine was too, sad part is now she has Alzheimers. I think that it was coming all along. I used to think that no one would consciously, do the things that she did to me and our family... My other sister in law left her house once vowing to never ever go back there. Not to make excuses but if you know someone that is "simple minded", constantly butting in and fighting with people, doesn't show class in front of others when it comes to saying and doing things embarrasing...maybe they are mentally ill or their brain is dying as my Mom in laws is...
sorry you have to deal with this Bethany... after mine alienated herself from the whole family, we now have to take care of her. Its not easy at all.
Ree
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Tiannia
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #5 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:22pm » |
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My husband fondly refers to my mother as "The Raptor Woman" He coined this after watching Jurassic Park when they where describing how a raptor will rip the guts out of its prey and start to eat it while it is still alive.
He and I totally agree with this fascet of my mothers personality. She honestly knows that what she says is mean as hell and does not care, at times I think she enjoys it more.
Be strong Beth. Remember that he chose to be with you. And had no choice to be born so the ravenous bitch.
After growing up with my mom, my MIL tried for about 6 months to spar verbally with me and she lost badly. But at the time her husband (my husbands dad) had died suddenly, and she decided that Shaun should not be with me but rather taking care of her. So it was nasty for a bit. Now she is remarried and a much happier person. So we get alone fine now. Even if I am still rather guarded with her.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:26pm by Tiannia » |
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Rosybabe
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #6 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:24pm » |
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Thanks GOD mine absolutely adores me  !! She lives 12 hours away!! 
And my Mom loves to spoil my Husband and He (of course) lets her do it  ...
Yeah for the most part we are very lucky in the MIL department
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| « Last Edit: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:27pm by Rosybabe » |
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Ree
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #7 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:34pm » |
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One time when I was working in the salon my MIL came in to have her hair done... she was talking very loudly about my boys and how they were inconsiderate of HER SON DAVID... BLAH BLAH BLAH and then she started talking about the CH medicine (inderal) he was on and how it was going to ruin his SEX LIFE, and how I fed him the wrong things and that was probably why he had headaches. That he was stressed out being with a woman with 2 boys blah blah blah.
Well there was sweet woman having her hair done by another stylist in the salon and she came over to me as she was leaving the salon and gave me a 5 dollar bill... she said I'm gonna give you a tip... and then she whispered
"move very far away from that woman"...
Everyone knew she was a bitch.... an incredible bitch.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh MIL stories........
Ree
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Melissa
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #8 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:47pm » |
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Wish I would have at least known mine so I would be able to tell everyone what she is like.
Unfortunately she died when hubby was 18.
8 months before I met him.
edited to add: I think tho, that now being the mom of a boy, that no girl will ever be good enough for my son. 
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| « Last Edit: Oct 10th, 2007, 4:49pm by Melissa » |
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cynjeep89
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #9 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 5:07pm » |
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Oh the stories I could tell about my ex-MIL would fill a book.....well, actually more like a horror novel.
Beelzebub Betty, as I used to call her, was my worst nightmare for a while.
When I finally figured out how to strangle her supply of information regarding what was going on in my life with my husband, Rich, I told him, "When your mother calls and asks how I am, you have a choice of two answers. You can say Cyn is fine or Cyn is dead."
It drove her crazy to not know what was happening with me...tee hee.
She was evil to the core and treated all of her sons' wives the same way.
Stay strong, Bethany. You know you are a great person!
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alienspacebabe
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #10 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 5:17pm » |
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Wow - I was really lucky with mine! Not the devil, just a bitch. And I was a nonentity to her - her nickname for me was "it". No biggie... it's her loss for not getting to know me.
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Bethany1
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #11 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 6:01pm » |
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wow... girls, thank you so much... i posted that because i guess i needed to vent. I just cant seem to win with her.. whatever i do. I need to stop caring about what SHE thinks and just protect myself and my family... these stories u guys are all telling are CRAZY. What is it with mil's???
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lionsound
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #12 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 8:01pm » |
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I hear ya, Beth...
My MIL is awful.
You are right! You must absolutely set your boundaries and the sooner the better because she'll keep pushing the limits. And actions speak louder than words....follow through ...do what you say you will do. She probably won't change, but you'll feel better and your family will feel better.
many hugs!!
-rori
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George_J
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #13 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 8:23pm » |
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My father-in-law didn't like me all that much, but I suppose that's normal. After all, I married his daughter.
My MIL was pretty neutral towards me, but that's probably because my sister-in-law's husband took most of the heat. He's a great guy, but he's a little more--um--extravagant than I am, and tends to draw a bit more attention. (I think he invented the term, "party naked". )
Biggest thing about my MIL was that she had a multitude of peculiar beliefs and practices. If you changed a light bulb in her house, you had to change all the light bulbs at the same time. Garbage day was a big event--she would spend hours doing what I called "folding garbage" to make certain that the trash was arranged just so. Maybe it's just me, but I don't spend a lot of time thinking about garbage.
I made a mistake one day when I responded to her fervent disquisition on the subject of whether dogs attract lightning by saying that I did not believe it was true, because the streets are not littered with burnt dogs after a thunderstorm. It was ill-advised.
I miss her though--she'd dearly love to have known Ellen--who was born two years after she died.
Best,
George
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| « Last Edit: Oct 10th, 2007, 8:26pm by George_J » |
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #14 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 8:26pm » |
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I like MILs.
I think I'm missing a letter.
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cynjeep89
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #15 on: Oct 10th, 2007, 8:38pm » |
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Beth,
Does your MIL work or is she retired? The reason I ask is because it seems that people who have way too much time on their hands seem to have the knack of wanting to stir the pot 'o poo when things get too boring for them.
My ex-MIL was like that big time. When she thought the family was getting along too well, she would invent some kind of crisis or create gossip to start some kind of feeding frenzy.
She thought it was absolutely terrible when she called one day and learned that "her baby" (my husband at the time) was cooking dinner. She wanted to know why I wasn't doing the cooking. I guess in her mind, you had to have ovaries to turn on an oven????
What she didn't know was that I had been outside washing, waxing and detailing the vehicles and was just finishing cutting the grass.
My ex was a great cook and I love doing yard work....worked for us but not for MIL.
I could take the Betty B.S. until she made a few not-so-nice remarks about my Mom....thus the phone call to Betty was made and it was not sugar coated.
The Betty B.S. stopped once I stood up to her.
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sandie99
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #16 on: Oct 11th, 2007, 4:15am » |
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I'm so sorry, Beth... 
and others as well.
I hear that my mum is a MIL from Hell in the making... (of course she is not officially a MIL; we're not married)
I know she is difficult at times, so I've been praticing "tell as little as possible"- method with her, so when she doesn't have material to work on, her options to hurt are limited.
Sanna
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BarbaraD
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #17 on: Oct 11th, 2007, 6:13am » |
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For 45 years Bill and I were both lucky in the MIL departments. Had great ones. We had the rifts, but got over them and were always there for each other.
Now I've got the daughter-in-law from HELL. (And it's NOT me, I swear!). I've done almost everything a MIL can do for that little witch and she is "horrible" to me. She is supposed to be bi-polar, but won't get help. She lies and I can't stand a liar (just tell the truth - I may not like what you say, but at least I'll know where we stand on things!).
My son and I both have a dry sense of humor about some things and she has none. One day their dog brought a little possum in the house and she got hysterical (it was dead). Buddy rushed in and saw what it was and calmly said, "Oh honey, our baby's first kill." She really got hysterical and called me screaming about "my son". I listened and then calmly asked, "Are you going to have it mounted?" She hung up on me and didn't speak to me for about a month. I think Buddy was sleeping on the couch during that time. (The dog was a mini-pin and the damn animal was bigger than he was - he was a great hunter...) Anyhow, she still gets mad if we tell that story and that was about 6 years ago.
When Bill died, (I had just gotten my stuff moved to Shreveport) she came over to help me unpack and threw out my wedding pictures cause she considered them "junk". I'm about to get over that one, but not quite.
She comes to my house and gets things (a lot of times without asking) and NEVER brings anything back.
What I'm getting at is -- sometimes MIL's aren't that bad - or there's a reason (not in ya'll case of course). But like I told her one time -- she's got the makings of a real good bitch, but I've had a lot more practice .
End of vent.... but my MIL - I loved dearly and miss her a lot. I just figured when I married Bill, I married the whole damn family and never changed my mind -
Hugs BD
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Ree
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #18 on: Oct 11th, 2007, 8:07am » |
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on Oct 10th, 2007, 6:01pm, Bethany1 wrote:| wow... girls, thank you so much... i posted that because i guess i needed to vent. I just cant seem to win with her.. whatever i do. I need to stop caring about what SHE thinks and just protect myself and my family... these stories u guys are all telling are CRAZY. What is it with mil's??? |
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With my first MIL (Scott and Sean's Gramma) I really cared what she thought because she always made me feel like I wasnt worthy to be her sons wife... and she always thought I kept him from her and controlled his bad behaviors. Boy did she find out that it wasn't me after we divorced.Believe it or not she and I are very good friends now that I am not married to her son.
I still remind HIM (MY x) of her birthday etc....
So when this MIL came along I was primed... I told Dave right off the bat that I wasn't having her sh*t and she could not just show up at our house whenever she wanted to... This woman was so bad she would show up at my house and just announce that she was staying... and she would bring her own sheets... like my sheets weren't worthy of the royal body... Even Dave would circle the neighborhood hoping she would leave when he would see her car.
MY Mom even warned me about her before Dave and I got married. She would go to Florida every Winter and it was like a VACATION for US!!!
I could go on and on... thanks for this thread... feels good to vent...
ree
Modified to say... I AM A MOTHER IN LAW NOW TOO. I bite my lip constantly and hear a little birdie whispering in my ear if I ever feel like I should give them any advice. Even when they ask for advice about the kids I tell them they are doing a great job... I refuse to be THAT Mother in Law.... they are learning just fine on their own... life is hard enough without critisism from parents.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 11th, 2007, 8:12am by Ree » |
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Tiannia
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #19 on: Oct 11th, 2007, 12:12pm » |
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My MiL and SiL (Sister in Law) are fine with me now. I had a sit down with both of them about 9 yrs ago (after my daughter was born). In hubbys family, they think that it is ok to say whatever you feel like when you are mad and as soon as the fight is over, all is wonderful and nothing happened. I DONT deal with that.
My SiL when I was about 6 mo preg with Shara, decided that she was mad and me and told em that she was going to kick my ass and called me things that you would not hear in a bar fight. I'm 5'11" and not s small girl. She is 5'4" and is about as round as she is tall. At the time I ignored her. After SHara was born, we sat and I told her that I did not give a flying F what was ok in thier family. That she was very lucky that I was preg at the time because I would have kicked the living shit out of her and if she ever talks to me or my kids that way then she will learn just how bad it is to piss me off.
When we moved from Reno to Vegas, my daugther was 9 mo. (My folks where in Vegas, Shuans had actually moved up here to OR, but we had been renting her house in Reno.) She called me and cussed me out on the phone and told how I had to be the one that forced her son to do this, blah blah blha. Well I hung up on her. For 4 yrs, she would call and told Shaun she was flying to vegas. I told him fine, she is not welcome in my house. When she got remarried, she invited Shaun and HSara up for the wedding but I was not invited. She was unhappy that none of us went. Her new hubby, got her to realize, that our kids are her only grandkids. And that she needs deal with what she does not like and just be happy to be a part of her grandkids life. So we sat down and I had about the same conversation with her that I did with her daughter. That you pull that shit once, then that is you. If it happens again, it is on me cause I gave you a chance to do it. It wont happen again. Now we get along fine. she prefers to deal with me then Shuan at times.
She is Scilian and has a temper from hell. Shaun got his from her and mized in the Irish from his dad. So when he blows it is like a volcano. Living with them for 3 months was interesting to say the least, when we got here. The cops where only called twice.
Now me . I'm German. Anyone who knows a German, I am sorry. We are hard to piss off, but when you go Goddess help you. And it is usually something little that is the last straw, so to speak. I used to be worse cause I never raised my voice, I was raised not to do that. Never heard my parents yell ever at anyone. So if I got quiet Shaun knew he was up shit creek. Over the 13 yrs we have been together, I have learned to yell back. With Shuan, he likes to yell get it out and we are done. At least I dont stuff shit anymore.
Beth, The best advice that I can give you is this. Take care of yours. Yourself, your husband and your kids (when or if you have them). Talk to your husband and make sure that he understands this. That when you 2 got married he chose to be with you and make a new family. That is what is most important. And everyone outside that is just that an outsider. You can invite them in to be a part of it or not. You two stand together.
/huggs Tia
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #20 on: Oct 11th, 2007, 12:27pm » |
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Sorry for you guys, my MIL is great but that may be because I brought her daughter home to NJ from Alaska after 22 years away from home. Plus she is eighty and to slow to catch us if we get out of hand.
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DennisM1045
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #21 on: Oct 11th, 2007, 12:57pm » |
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Wow, where do I start with this one My MIL lives with us! That's right, 6 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats and 1 devil. 20 years ago we bought the house my wife grew up in. Her parents were getting too old to take care of it and we needed to stop renting in the city. So we literally made a deal with the devil
Now she used to focus all her venom on my poor FIL. He died two years ago so now she focuses all of her "attention" on us. I shut her out after he passed away. Like others have said its just easier if she has no ammo to work with. That takes some doing as she like to go through our mail, stuff on the kitchen table and once was caught going through the top drawer on my dresser.
I do the maintanence and make sure she has what she needs. My wife on the other hand is the one that has to deal with her 1 on 1.
She can't drive any more so we have to get her meds and take her to Dr appts. She has COPD, macular degeneration and (we believe) the beginnings of a mental slide. But she has been bitter since the day I met her so that is not an excuse. I've never known anyone that took that much joy from the suffering of others. I joke that the only thing that won't break on her is her mouth
The other day she came in around bed time to announce that she was having particular difficulty breathing. We both sat right up, ready to take her to the ER or whatever. After regaining her breath her next sentence was: "If I can't breath in the middle of the night I won't bother you I'll just call 911 myself". Yup, some people you just can't care for. We both just looked at each other and didn't know how to respond. After a minute my wife looked at her and said: "don't be stupid, let us know". I was so proud of her.
So a sane person would ask, "Why do we do it"? It's a fair question after all. The answer has to do with my FIL. I loved that man as much as my own Dad. He was funny and had the biggest heart. Unfortunately he had Lung Cancer and Dementia. We had the rare opportunity to care for him till he passed. The last two years were rough. 24x7 care, sundowners, him thinking he was somewhere else. In the end he didn't know who anyone was. But the core of that sweet man was still there. Even at the end I could still get him to laugh. It wasn't hard to work up the energy to care for him. On his death-bed my wife made him a promise that we would care for my MIL till she passed. And that is the only reason she is still there.
-Dennis-
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midwestbeth
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #22 on: Oct 11th, 2007, 1:01pm » |
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Quote:Beth, The best advice that I can give you is this. Take care of yours. Yourself, your husband and your kids (when or if you have them). Talk to your husband and make sure that he understands this. That when you 2 got married he chose to be with you and make a new family. That is what is most important. And everyone outside that is just that an outsider. You can invite them in to be a part of it or not. You two stand together.
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Great advice!!
Quote:| she's got the makings of a real good bitch, but I've had a lot more practice . |
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Barbara D, I love that line!! I think I will be using it soon on my oldest daughter.......
Beth, You have my sympathies (((((hugs)))))
Beth
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minnie
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #23 on: Oct 12th, 2007, 12:42pm » |
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I am blessed I have a great MIL.Billy and I are seperated but she has said from the beginning of our seperation that I will always be her daughter.Made me cry.I also have 3 great sister-in-laws that I talk/e-mail alot.I wish I had met my FIL he passed away before I met Billy but sounds like a wonderful man.I am also blessed with a closeknit family.2 parents that love me and my daughters and would /will do anything they can to help.sisters that I am close to.I hope I will be a good MIL.Just the same no one will be good enough for my girls but I sure will give them a chance.
Minnie who lucky in the family sence
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Re: I think my mother in law is the devil
« Reply #24 on: Oct 12th, 2007, 12:54pm » |
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Well I KNOW my mother in law is the Devil because her son is the biggest SOB ever bred. 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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