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Topic: Need advice please!!! (Read 468 times) |
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aubmari
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Need advice please!!!
« on: Oct 4th, 2007, 6:41pm » |
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So I just got a call from my sister and she has been having problems with my 10 year old nephews teacher. Today she gets a call from his teacher that he has received his 5th "re-focus". They get them for not listening or talking when they aren't supposed to. Really not a huge deal.
Anyway his teacher proceeds to tell my sister that she should take him out of football because it is affecting his school work..... he has all A's and 2 B's. What??
The only offense he has is talking in class when he isn't suppose to. Yah this isn't okay and he shouldn't do it..............
So my sister picks him up from school today and he is really upset and says that he had to stay inside for recess (rightfully so) and that after that the entire school had an assembly. While at the assembly he turned arround to talk to a classmate behind him and his teacher came up behind him and flicked him so hard on the ear he started crying. She then realized what she had done and apologized saying" I shouldn't have flicked you so hard"
So IMO she should not EVER touch him. My sister is livid. She called and isn't sure what to do. I say definately say something to the school or the teacher. Her thinking is that it is her job to disipline sp? him and she does!
What do you all think??
Aumari
edited to add: Am I just an overprotective Auntie or what???
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| « Last Edit: Oct 4th, 2007, 6:50pm by aubmari » |
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Jonny
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #1 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 6:49pm » |
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The flicker should be kicked in the face hard!
File a formal complaint with the school and let them know she might even fucking sue them.
If it were my kid I would be down there wanting to kill someone....but thats just me. 
Defiantly make a complaint or the kid will go through it again.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 4th, 2007, 6:53pm by Jonny » |
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aubmari
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #2 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 6:52pm » |
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Thanks Jonny!!!
I am just pissed cuz he is a really good kid and really sensitive. I cant even imagine how embarrassed he was after she did that.
Aubmari
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Redd
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #3 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 7:04pm » |
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Is this a military school? Are they demanding these kids behave like little clones? If what "talking" the kid does isn't disruptive or abusive, I don't see the deal. Assemblies are ultra casual.
I ran accross a teacher in my son's past that I had to go toe to toe with.
Never EVER does a teacher use any sort of corporal method. I have seen circumstances where there is express permission form a parent to do so because the child has known and documented behavior issues but they are extreemly rare.
This sounds like a tyrant of a teacher, who should concider retirement.
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Rosybabe
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #4 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 7:06pm » |
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Aubmari please check your PM's.
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Killroy 2.0
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #5 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 8:01pm » |
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Before I start on my rant let me say I do not think that the flicking of the ear in front of every one was appropriate.
But I do not think that it is a suing offense. I think one of the things that is wrong with the schools to day is that there is not enough discipline.
Students now days run a muck and the teacher have no power.
My son complains everyday that in half of his classes he in learning next to nothing do to the talking and goofing of his classmates.
So maybe he should not have been flicked but if he thought he was going to get flicked the next time he talked, maybe he would think twice about it.
I am tired of the way schools are run now days.
Rant done.
Now Fire away!!!!
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Jonny
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #6 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 8:37pm » |
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on Oct 4th, 2007, 8:01pm, Gena wrote:
No one has the right to put their hands on your kid for any reason.....well, maybe if the kid is trying to kill someone.
Do you know that some schools wont even let KIDS hold hands or hug?......Then why the fuck is this teacher causing pain to this ten year old?
The principal at my high school swore up and down that he saw me breaking hallway lights with my fists and there was blood on the floor. The next day me and my Dad were in his office and he jumped up and said "I know it was him hes a trouble maker".......with that my Dad grabbed my hands and said "do you see any cuts on his hands?"
Needless to say the principal was out gunned and started yelling, Dad politely reached over the desk, grabbed him by the throat and threw him to the ground.....LOL
BTW....I did not break shit...that dude had it out for me and he got what was coming to him for thinking he was meaner than my Dad (That did 17 years straight years in prison before I was born).....LMAO 
Its up to the parent to dicipline their kid!
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Killroy 2.0
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #7 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 9:20pm » |
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on Oct 4th, 2007, 8:37pm, Jonny wrote:
Its up to the parent to dicipline their kid!
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But Most Don't...
There are bad people no matter what...
All I am saying is that when I was in school you tried very hard not to F up because if you did you were sent down to the dean of students and got your ass paddled.
I just finished talking with my 16 year old son and his best friend. Believe it or not they agree with me.
Edited to say: Fear of consequence is not a bad thing!!!
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| « Last Edit: Oct 4th, 2007, 9:21pm by Killroy 2.0 » |
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Rosybabe
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #8 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 9:26pm » |
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on Oct 4th, 2007, 8:37pm, Jonny wrote:
No one has the right to put their hands on your kid for any reason.....well, maybe if the kid is trying to kill someone.
Its up to the parent to dicipline their kid!
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Teachers are not well trained, no well paid and our children are paying the price.
A teacher with a hormonal problem comes a drops her frustrations on a child. If the Teacher was well prepared to handle the situation professionally, no physical punishment should have been applied.
A child who talks in class and gets good grades is a child who gets bored and needs more activities to keep him engaged in class.
It was easier for the teacher to flicked him than to provide and extra worksheet for him.
Yes, I will fire away over and over again.
It is not the child's fault but the Teacher's.
I am sure no parent will complain if his kid gets more than his share of worksheets at day instead of any kind of physical or mental punishment.
A very mad Rosy.
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KJ
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #9 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 9:27pm » |
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Abumari-
Sorry, I'm a little old school. If the kid can't take a flick on the ear, then he should definitley quit football!
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Jonny
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #10 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 9:30pm » |
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on Oct 4th, 2007, 9:20pm, Gena wrote:
All I am saying is that when I was in school you tried very hard not to F up because if you did you were sent down to the dean of students and got your ass paddled. |
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I think its fair to say that I am older than you.......if anyone paddled a kid back in my day the father would have killed them.
But you didnt look 70 years old last time I saw you.
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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Jonny
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #11 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 9:32pm » |
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on Oct 4th, 2007, 9:27pm, KJ wrote:Abumari-
Sorry, I'm a little old school. If the kid can't take a flick on the ear, then he should definitley quit football!
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Ok, how about a teacher punches your kid in the mouth?......You cool with that?
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #12 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 10:36pm » |
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I know kids who got paddled in Catholic schools...my age...
(which by the way, is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY younger than jonny!)
BUT - nowadays - no teacher may touch, Hit, push, kick, flick, or molest my kids.
I will discipline my kids. BUT - I CANNOT discipline my kids if I dont know what's going on at school. That would require the teachers to take time to call me... and that never happens. I never hear about anything until it's sooooo deep it's nearly impossible to fix anything..
I know that some parents don't - but it's not up to the teachers to determine who's parents DO and who's parents dont. It's up to the teachers to report things to parents, or principals... not to deal with everything themselves.
I know that teacher's have a lot to deal with - but I believe, based on shit I've gone thru with my kids, that some of the teachers bring some of that on themselves...
if they dont alert me to a problem, I cannot help fix it.
The schools around here are always stressing "non-violent resolution". SO - if one of my kid's teachers got violent with my kid - well - that's not practicing what they preach... and I would get kinda pissy about it.
I dont know if I would SUE...(i firmly believe too many people sue for stupid shit.) but i would definately have my kid taken out of that class, and possibly the school alltogether.
I do agree that kids should be scared of consequences of their actions - but I dont believe those consequences should be violence from teachers.
And that's all I have to say about that.
woobs 
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| « Last Edit: Oct 5th, 2007, 12:04am by Woobie » |
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BlueMeanie
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #13 on: Oct 4th, 2007, 11:49pm » |
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on Oct 4th, 2007, 9:20pm, Gena wrote:| All I am saying is that when I was in school you tried very hard not to F up because if you did you were sent down to the dean of students and got your ass paddled. Fear of consequence is not a bad thing!!! |
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Yep, I can relate Gena. 5th grade Mr. Runyan paddled pretty hard. I guess I shouldn't have been talking when the class was told to be quiet. 
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thomas
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #14 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 9:20am » |
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on Oct 4th, 2007, 9:30pm, Jonny wrote:
I think its fair to say that I am older than you.......if anyone paddled a kid back in my day the father would have killed them.
But you didnt look 70 years old last time I saw you.
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We both went to school a lot farther south than Bahston. Trust me down south, coporal punishment was still going on in the 70's and 80's. I know I got a paddle across my ass more than once, all to way up until I was 15 and moved to Swisconsin. I think a lot of people could benefit with a swat on the ass, myself. It's a lot easier to learn early in life that you have to obey the rules, later on it gets more painful and expensive.
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #15 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 9:25am » |
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on Oct 4th, 2007, 9:27pm, KJ wrote:Abumari-
Sorry, I'm a little old school. If the kid can't take a flick on the ear, then he should definitley quit football!
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Insensitive, politically incorrect, old-school...definitely, but right on the mark!!!!
Scott
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #16 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 10:09am » |
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Undoubtedly, it was wrong to flick the kids ear. He didn't have it coming anyways.
Not that it has anything to do with Abumaris son, but it goes both ways tho. My Mom quit doing substitute teacher job cause of some of the high school kids scared her. They have been known to punch a woman teacher, causing her a hospital trip and broken jaw.
The law doesn't do a damn thing about it. Teachers aren't even allowed to fight back here in Illinois. I know if one of those little J.D.'s punched me, he'd better get ready to get busted up bad.
Again, it doesn't reflect on Abumaris complaint, but I thought I would bring it up. It is frustrating what goes on in school these days.
Dave
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #17 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 10:16am » |
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on Oct 5th, 2007, 9:20am, thomas wrote:| It's a lot easier to learn early in life that you have to obey the rules, |
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After all the practically daily corner and out in the hall standing during grade school, well-wacked paddlings in junior high, and vice principle visits as well as physical intimidation and expulsion in high school, I'd have to say it never did a lick of difference. "What, that's all that can happen to me? That's all you got?"
Quote:| later on it gets more painful and expensive. |
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This though is so very, very right.
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aubmari
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #18 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 11:41am » |
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on Oct 4th, 2007, 9:27pm, KJ wrote:Abumari-
Sorry, I'm a little old school. If the kid can't take a flick on the ear, then he should definitley quit football!
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So first off!... He isn't a little wimp he is actually 5'7 and 170 in 5th grade and playing on the A team in football. Has always had A's and B's and definately isn't one of the kids that isn't disciplined. My sister is very tough on him when it comes to school, sports and how he treats people.
I believe that kids should be punished for bad behavior but does this fit the crime.
How many of us haven't gotten in trouble for talking in school when we weren't supposed to..... How many times was the punishment for that a paddle or a flick????'
The kids aren't supposed to touvh each other and his school supposedly has a "0" tolerance for agressive or violent behavior. So why is this kind OK for the teacher.
Aubmari
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| « Last Edit: Oct 5th, 2007, 11:43am by aubmari » |
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #19 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 12:55pm » |
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on Oct 5th, 2007, 11:41am, aubmari wrote:
So first off!... He isn't a little wimp he is actually 5'7 and 170 in 5th grade and playing on the A team in football. Has always had A's and B's and definately isn't one of the kids that isn't disciplined. My sister is very tough on him when it comes to school, sports and how he treats people.
I believe that kids should be punished for bad behavior but does this fit the crime.
How many of us haven't gotten in trouble for talking in school when we weren't supposed to..... How many times was the punishment for that a paddle or a flick????'
The kids aren't supposed to touvh each other and his school supposedly has a "0" tolerance for agressive or violent behavior. So why is this kind OK for the teacher.
Aubmari
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Its not I have had teachers that came up with the best punishment ever they called let the punishment fit the crime. this was many moons ago when the paddle was still in heavy use, I will vouch for that.
But back to the method she used I have suggested it to some of my kids teachers but they dont want to because it doesnt seem fair. Of course these are the teachers that will grab a kids hair and yank them out of their desk.
Here it is ,,,
Talk in class = read shakespear to everyone in a loud voice during recess.
Quite effective when you are shamed but still learning classic works.
Act out in class = read shakespear to everyone in a loud voice during recess. in character with a british accent and she had props.
the funny part was she was our math teacher!
There was more but the list was long.
Maybe you could give the teacher in question some ideas on how to better handle the situation since her instinct is not very good. I as others said file a formal complaint and keep a copy and have the teacher and principle sign it. that usually get there attention.
Mike
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #20 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 1:39pm » |
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OK, I'm older than Jonny, too....and I can remember Coach Hauser lobbing chalkboard erasers at us in Homeroom when we couldn't settle down. They don't hurt, much, but the damn things are loaded with old chalk, and I SWEAR, some of it is still in my lungs!
That was better than the principal(whose pal was he?), who kept his paddle on a hook right behind his desk. Yes, they used corporal punishment....now, they don't.
The fact of the matter is, we have adopted a 'hands off' approach to teaching.this teacher breached that rule...and should be sanctioned! This teacher is one of a handfull who think they are omnipotent....or perhaps simply above the law....they need to be set straight. There is NO excuse for a teacher losing control!
That said, I sure hate that parents( not your nephew, Aub) have completely given up on parenting.....it's the exception rather than the rule, but those little snots NEED to be smacked-HARD..someone's gotta show them where the rubber hits the road.
But, I really don't have any thoughts on the subject.......
Aub, I think your sis needs to confront the teacher IN FRONT of the school principal.and if necessary, go up from there.
Tenure be damnned-accountability is what is needed!
Cathi
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #21 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 2:10pm » |
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Okay just to chuck in a slightly different angle here..
How many times have any of you winced when someone has shook your hand and damn near crushed the bones, or hugged you so hard they've quite hurt you?
It isn't their intention to hurt is it? We tend to say they don't know their own strength..
Okay now imagine that person giving a "light swat" to your kid.
That's my problem with corporal punishment. One persons "light swat" is another person's definition of being knocked into the middle of next week.
It's like pain. It's relative and that is why I cannot see corporal punishment ever being an option for discipline in schools.
Then we have the fact that corporal punishment is not allowed. This means that under no circumstances should that teacher have laid a hand on that pupil in anger or frustration which is what it was. I can completely see it from the other side and understand exactly what Dave is saying about his mother fearing students. I wouldn't fancy being a high school teacher much myself. Teachers are pretty much left out in the cold as far as protecting themselves from violent students is concerned but at this point in time that is another issue.
Aubmari, your sister needs to take this up with the school authorities. My biggest problem here is that the teacher allowed her frustration with your nephews talking to over ride her professional capabilities and that is a definite cause for concern. I can understand her frustration, his talking in class is rude, disruptive to other students and not to be tolerated and there isn't any excuse for his behaviour however, there is even less of an excuse for hers.
Helen
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #22 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 2:17pm » |
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let it go. the kid will learn a far greater lesson - let the small stuff roll off your back. it was an ear flick, sheesh.
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aubmari
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #23 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 2:21pm » |
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Helen,
I totally agree with you and dont want everyone to think that my opinion is that he should not get in trouble. If he is disturbing the class and not listening or following rules, he should most definately be reprimanded for it! ( detention, staying in for recess, a letter home or phone call to mom and dad, etc)
My nephew should have consequences for his actions. If she is frustrated to the point that this is her answer then send him to the principals office instead.
His mom feels the same way about it and he is grounded for week or more depending, with everything taken away. No Tv, phone, allowance, friends, etc. His actions were not excused due to the actions of the teacher.
I think it should have been handled differently.
Thanks for everyones views!! 
Aubmari
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| « Last Edit: Oct 5th, 2007, 2:22pm by aubmari » |
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Re: Need advice please!!!
« Reply #24 on: Oct 5th, 2007, 2:27pm » |
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Damn fool for hitting a child - In today's litigious society no wonder the teacher apologized pretty quickly and rightly so.
For people who are supposed to be bigger and cleverer than the children they teach violence is not the answer.
Great we're in a society where the young can be normalised to violence like this so young, doesn't solve anything and just creates more problems further down the line.
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