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Topic: How long has it been.... (long post) (Read 167 times) |
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ski2k
New Board Old Timer
 
 
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How long has it been.... (long post)
« on: Sep 13th, 2007, 5:32am » |
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since you sat down and actually read the stories on the home page here?
The first time I visited this site, was about...um...3-4 years ago? I had just started a cycle, gotten the boot from the wife, and began living with a friend. He had a spare (old) computer, and let me use it to "research those headaches you get".
That's exactly what I did, and this was the first site I found.
I made it through the first story there, and had to stop for about 20 minutes. I just couldn't read any more cuz of the tears in my eyes. WOW. I had never heard, or read anything like that. I now knew what my wife saw when I went through yet another headache. I wanted so bad to HATE her lying, cheating ass, but I had to give her a call and say thanx for putting up with it as long as she had. I no longer felt angry about her "giving up" when she realized there was nothing more she could do to help.
I continued reading and cried some more. This time I realized I was crying for a different reason. Other people have gone through this?!?! That's just insane!!! How the hell do THEY deal with it?!?! They, too, beat their heads, and pace, and curse, and fear sleep.... That means either I'm NOT crazy for doing those things, or there's more crazy people out there than I thought!
I really felt a lot of relief in finding this site. Maybe THESE people will understand.... and you all have. The support and strength I've gotten here, has been far beyond anything I could imagine.
I just read it again, and had the same reaction I did when I first read it a few years back.... cried like a baby. It just hit me so hard when I first realized that I'm really NOT the only one who knows what this hell is like. It fills me with sadness ... and rage... to think that others have to put up with this too. I guess it's a good reminder to read what others feel while wrestling with the beast. I know we all feel it, or see it, but rarely do I read a posting that sums it up that well. We all know the pain, but would rather not speak of it.
I just wanna say....Thank you. Thank you EVERYBODY for being here. Thank you for all your advice and shared experience. Thank you for helping me see there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. And thank you for letting me ramble on like this when I'm afraid to sleep.
Adam
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Here's where I got my RC (Rivea Corymbosa)seeds: I am Shaman
https://www.iamshaman.net/affiliatewiz/aw.aspx?A=1022&Task=Click
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UN solved
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Re: How long has it been.... (long post)
« Reply #1 on: Sep 13th, 2007, 6:02am » |
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You're not alone. You're never alone.
And, welcome 'home'.
PF Wishes
UNsolved
"Sleep" ? ... what is this word you speak of ? 
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DennisM1045
New Board Hall of Famer
One wave at a time!
 
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Re: How long has it been.... (long post)
« Reply #2 on: Sep 13th, 2007, 6:35am » |
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Good post Adam. Every one of us has the same reaction. The shared pain and the search for relief is the glue that binds us together. It is an amazing feeling when you find out that you never were alone.
Now get some sleep
-Dennis-
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Dancing the dance since 1995 ... Family member since 2007 ... No longer alone
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
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Re: How long has it been.... (long post)
« Reply #3 on: Sep 13th, 2007, 7:55am » |
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That was a good post Adam - one we can all relate to. I do read the guestbook at least 3-4 times a week looking to see if there is anyone I can help and I know the Family Services Team at OUCH read it daily and contact as many people as they can. They are people I have nothing but respect for because, as you say, reading it is traumatic to say the least.
I'm glad you're here now, a part of the family and someone we're enjoying getting to know. You just remember the light is always on here and we all know the too afraid to sleep feeling, we'll get you through it each time, the same as someone else did for us.
Hang in there honeybun, we'll win this fight together
Helen x
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
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Happy to be here
  
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Re: How long has it been.... (long post)
« Reply #4 on: Sep 13th, 2007, 8:01pm » |
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Oh yeah. The first time I read the guestbook...I hadn't figured out how to do much more on my puter at that time....I slobbered all over myself.
You are not alone
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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