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tanner
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Southern Women
« on: Aug 30th, 2007, 6:48pm » |
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Southern women appreciate their natural assets: Clean skin. A winning smile. That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners: "Yes, ma'am." "Yes, sir." "Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions : "Y'all come back!" "Well, bless your heart." "Drop by when you can." "How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report : Humidity, Humidity, Humidity.
Southern women know their vacation spots: The beach, The rivuh, The crick.
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August: Colorful hi-heel sandals, Strapless sun dresses, Iced sweet tea with mint.
Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey, Darlin',Shugah.
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes, Driving Miss Daisy, Steel Magnolias, Gone With The Wind.
Southern women know their religions:Baptist, Methodist, Football.
Southern women know their country breakfasts: Red-eye gravy, Grits, Eggs, Country ham, Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly.
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Chawl'stn, S'vanah, Foat Wuth, N'awlins, Addlanna.
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform, Men in tuxedos, Rhett Butler.
Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall, The Country Club, The Beauty Salon.
Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails, Having bad manners, Cooking bad food.
More Suthen-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!
Now...... Shugah, share this with some girls who were raised in the South or wish they had been! Some fellas too. If you're a Northern transplant, bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could.
I have not mentioned yet that I luuuv "Southern Women"........
so if you are from somewhere south of say ..........
The North Pole......... 
Tim
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Rosybabe
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #1 on: Aug 30th, 2007, 6:54pm » |
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That was pretty nice 
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #2 on: Aug 30th, 2007, 10:25pm » |
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Tim, Am I wrong or didn't you say you lived on the West coast for a time? 
Anything to say about THEM?
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jimmers
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #3 on: Aug 30th, 2007, 10:42pm » |
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I spent a week in Atlanta one night, I think Southern women are hot! So polite, so caring about how they look, but don't piss them off or yo ass is in trouble
Jimmers
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sandie99
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #4 on: Aug 31st, 2007, 2:24am » |
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Oh that was great! 
Sanna
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tanner
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #5 on: Aug 31st, 2007, 2:38am » |
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on Aug 30th, 2007, 10:25pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
Tim, Am I wrong or didn't you say you lived on the West coast for a time?
Anything to say about THEM? |
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Sweetie....West, East, mountains, deserts, islands, far north and way south......oh yeah we are from the midwest 
I just plain like wimmin
The NCal women were the best debater's.........
Nooo....Honestly I loved it.
Luv ya Shugah .....Tim
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totka2
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #6 on: Aug 31st, 2007, 4:05am » |
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Southernish speekin' funny folks.
I met a guy from south some years ago but I did't understand with my BBC-English 
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BarbaraD
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #7 on: Aug 31st, 2007, 7:56am » |
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Why bless your little pea-pickin' heart darlin' - I think ya just hit the nail on the head about us southern wimmen.
Hugs BD
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deltadarlin
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #8 on: Aug 31st, 2007, 8:46am » |
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on Aug 31st, 2007, 7:56am, BarbaraD wrote:Why bless your little pea-pickin' heart darlin' - I think ya just hit the nail on the head about us southern wimmen.
Hugs BD |
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Shucks, Barb, I was just fixin' to answer this!
You missed on Tanner. Southern women know how to plan the perfect funeral!
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thomas
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #9 on: Aug 31st, 2007, 9:12am » |
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Hmmmm I thought this was going to be a link to a new Neil Young song.
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Jimi
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #10 on: Aug 31st, 2007, 9:25am » |
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Quote:| To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness |
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Us Southerners are never embarrassed about any of the things in that message. I gotta agree with most of them though. Singing * (And the southern girls with the way they talk,they keeps their boyfriends home at night) or something like that.
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LeLimey
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Re: Southern Women
« Reply #11 on: Sep 1st, 2007, 6:43am » |
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Being a Southerner too I have to agree with all of the above - ESPECIALLY Carolyn's funeral comment
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