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Topic: Why Men are Never Depressed (Read 345 times) |
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Sandy_C
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Why Men are Never Depressed
« on: Aug 28th, 2007, 4:59pm » |
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Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time ! !
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier! Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
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Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
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thomas
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #1 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 5:03pm » |
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I take extreme offense to the wedding plans thing, and the hairstyle thing, can't style it if it ain't there any more. The rest of it is pretty funny.
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Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God, the numbers look the same on their credit cards. Triptans cause rebounds. Learn it, believe it, live it. I use triptans as the absolute LAST RESORT when treating my CH.
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sldrswyfe
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #2 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 5:16pm » |
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Sigh...That is sooo damned true!! Thanks that was great...
So many things I could say...but, I wont. 
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"Great spirits have always found violent
opposition from the mediocrities." -Einstein
"I'll DIE on MY FEET, before I LIVE on MY KNEES"...thanks Jonny...that meant alot
"Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wave?"....Your damn right it does.
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Mosaicwench
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #3 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 6:40pm » |
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Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
Brew wore his grandfather's tails and I wore my mother's wedding dress - Clothing for wedding? 0$
We were 21 and didn't have two dimes to rub together.
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The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. ~Author Unknown
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Redd
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #4 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 7:11pm » |
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Any lists out there as to why it's great to be a single middle aged woman? I need the daily affermation reinforcement... 
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Jonny
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #5 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 7:12pm » |
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http://media.putfile.com/Yeah-rightLOL
.............................. 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Racer1_NC
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #6 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 8:03pm » |
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on Aug 28th, 2007, 4:59pm, Sandy_C wrote:
Your last name stays put. Got us there...
The garage is all yours. That's the only place that is...
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Like we have a choice in this activity anyway?
Chocolate is just another snack. And the point is?
You can be President. This is a positive?
You can never be pregnant. True, but the same is available upon request for females as well.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. So can females.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. See above.
Car mechanics tell you the truth. Only if you know more than they do.
The world is your urinal. Yep. Got us there. But then again females seem to be catching on to this as well.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. If ya gotta go, go!
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Everyone has at one time or another.
Same work, more pay. Not where I work.....
Wrinkles add character. Damn lie.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. Only because they know you'll pay it. 
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. True......the stares tend to be directed lower for some reason.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. Buying the correct size cures that problem on both genders.
One mood all the time ! ! Only if the male is single.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. Secret....egg timers!
You know stuff about tanks. Knowledge readily available to all.....
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. If married, it has to be that way.....no room in the trunk for more than that.
You can open all your own jars. Single men don't have jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Where does this happen?
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Yep......means I don't have to attend!
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. If it's not on sale....
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. True that....
You almost never have strap problems in public. And women never suffer from near castration if their underwear twists.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. What's a wrinkle?
Everything on your face stays its original color. Only if we stay inside during the day.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. Not according to my 17 yo daughter.
You only have to shave your face and neck. True......
You can play with toys all your life. Not gonna touch this one.....not gonna do it.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. Black looks good year round.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. I dunno about that......ever seen Chuck in shorts?
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. Try it you'll like it.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. Not if the male is married.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. Just the way it's supposed to be.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 28th, 2007, 8:09pm by Racer1_NC » |
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Eventus stultorum magister.
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Groov
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #7 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 9:08pm » |
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I don't know which one was funnier...Sandy's or Racer's...both great.
I have a short one.
Q: Why do women live longer than men?
A: Because men have to live with women.
Just kidding ladies 
Dave
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PARABELLUM
I do look like my avatar...But I swear to God I am not a bag of aqua colored french fries
Calling an illegal alien an 'undocumented immigrant' is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"
The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others!!
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Redd
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #8 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 9:17pm » |
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Still no list as to the up-side of being a single middle aged woman. Hmmmm....
Ok...I guess I'll just have to come up with a TOP TEN of my own.
Gimme time, I'll do it too...just watch me....
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #9 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 10:25pm » |
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Pegg, I'll start you off with a few of mine.
You can go to bed whenever you want, or stay up all night.
If he house is dirty, it's because you made it so.
No explanations of where you're going, when you'll be back and who you'll be seeing.
The remote is yours, even if you don't want to watch anything.
The music can be as loud as you want it.
Feel free to add...
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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cynjeep89
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #10 on: Aug 28th, 2007, 10:27pm » |
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Independence
'nuff said
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sandie99
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #11 on: Aug 29th, 2007, 2:44am » |
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I actually DO stare Timo's chest...
He's usually wearing his "Trainspotting" - t-shirt with a long text and I always end up reading that darn text!
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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chewy
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #12 on: Aug 29th, 2007, 7:17am » |
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Quote:| You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes |
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Walgreens in less than 20 !
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Dape
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #13 on: Aug 29th, 2007, 7:44am » |
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And you say we are simple creatures.
A list for the wimmins 
We got off the Titanic first.
We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
Taxis stop for us.
Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
Free drinks, free dinners.
We can hug our friends without wondering if they're gay.
We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.
If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We'll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We'll never discover we've been duped by a Wonderbra.
We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
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D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F ???
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Redd
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #14 on: Aug 29th, 2007, 8:08am » |
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on Aug 28th, 2007, 10:25pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
Pegg, I'll start you off with a few of mine.
You can go to bed whenever you want, or stay up all night.
And the bed is mine....ALL mine.
If the house is dirty, it's because you made it so.
No car parts in the kitchen sink.
No explanations of where you're going, when you'll be back and who you'll be seeing.
No accusations of cheating with the bag boy if I go to the grocery store more than one a week.
The remote is yours, even if you don't want to watch anything.
The music can be as loud as you want it.
Dinner can be a pint of chocolate chip mint icecream.
Walking around the living room in a tank top and panties DOES NOT end up as an invitation for sex.
Feel free to add...
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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aprilbee
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #15 on: Aug 29th, 2007, 9:41am » |
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I love those! So true for both!
I do have to add one for the girls though...
we can watch football, basketball, baseball, hockey, and guys think we're cool chicks
guys can watch all that, but heaven forbid they get caught watching figure skating, cheerleading, or gymnastics....and manhood is called into question...
I'm just sayin' is all....
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sandie99
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #16 on: Aug 29th, 2007, 9:48am » |
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I'm loving the list for us ladies!
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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luveemom
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Re: Why Men are Never Depressed
« Reply #17 on: Aug 29th, 2007, 11:39am » |
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So True!! Great Post!! I love it!
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