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Topic: How truthful is too cruel? (Read 687 times) |
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PollyPocket
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How truthful is too cruel?
« on: Aug 20th, 2007, 5:38pm » |
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Here's the dilemma:
There is an older gentlemen from my area whom I met on myspace. He's been kind enough and pleasant to talk with until recently.
He's lived in this area all of his life, but after knowing me just a few months, he said I was becoming his best friend.
Knowing that the situation has been stressful, he offered to let me stay at his cabin in the mountains to get away from things-- except him of course.
He then said he was going away for the weekend and "needed a sailing partner" hint hint hint. I ignored the comment and told him to have a good time.
He came back and said that he wished I'd been there. I didn't respond.
He posted the subject: Painting, but when I opened it he asked me to go out for a drink with him sometime this week. When I asked what the hell painting had to do with that, he said he put the subject up to get my attn.  I said it was best to keep the friendship online only
I've already told him on more than one occasion that I am NOT INTERESTED, but his comments are starting to creep me out. Question is: I don't want to hurt his feelings, but his comments are starting to creep me out! What do I say to make him back off without hurting his feelings?
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
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thomas
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #1 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 5:39pm » |
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I think it's time to "block" him.
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PollyPocket
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #2 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 5:43pm » |
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shoold I tell him to back off or I will block him? I mean, he has been really nice but here lately, i'm getting that weird "alarm bells" feeling. Nothing I can fully define, cuz he comes back with he just wants to be friends. Still........
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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thomas
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #3 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 5:46pm » |
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You've stated the friendship should be online only, and he is still trying to "meet" you. I'd give him one more chance, but after that...... gone!
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Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God, the numbers look the same on their credit cards. Triptans cause rebounds. Learn it, believe it, live it. I use triptans as the absolute LAST RESORT when treating my CH.
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LeLimey
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #4 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 5:53pm » |
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Jen I got contacted by an older guy who was on your myspace and mentioned you being his friend - so I added him.. I wonder if its the same one?
He hasn't been inappropriate with me in any way but maybe he was trying to get more about you from me? Who knows - I don't use myspace much as you well know!
My view is - creepy. Cut him off at the knees.
Anyone who doesn't obey the "back off" message is out the door in my book. Don't worry about offending him - this probably isn't the first time he's done it and he is manipulating you by appealing to your nice nature.
Its more trouble than its worth honest lovey
lots of love
Helen xxx
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Jonny
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #5 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 5:56pm » |
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on Aug 20th, 2007, 5:38pm, JenniferD wrote:| What do I say to make him back off without hurting his feelings? |
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Thats an easy one...."Fuck off you old freak!"
That should do it. 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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cynjeep89
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #6 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 5:59pm » |
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Tell him that you are married. Tell him again that you are not interested and to stop the B.S.
Trust the negative vibes that you are getting and snuff this situation out before it gets out of control.
If you have to hurt someone's feelings to protect yourself then I say do it. He has no problem trying to pressure you and is making you feel uncomfortable so apparently he is not too concerned about you, right?
There are way too many creeps out there, Jen. Please be careful.
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john_d
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #7 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:07pm » |
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on Aug 20th, 2007, 5:43pm, JenniferD wrote:| I mean, he has been really nice but here lately, i'm getting that weird "alarm bells" feeling. Nothing I can fully define, cuz he comes back with he just wants to be friends. Still........ |
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Easy, block him. Hello?
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PollyPocket
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #8 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:08pm » |
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Helen, I looked on both yours and his and didn't see either of you on the other. But that would be something he'd do. He asked the lady at the store up the road from me where I lived (he knew that I knew her, that was our "connection"
Jonny, you may be right! Polite doesn't seem to be working.
Maybe spouse should let him know?
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Jonny
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #9 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:35pm » |
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If your that worried about his feelings, I could just kill him for you and there will be no worry.
Lemme know
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Racer1_NC
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #10 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:36pm » |
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on Aug 20th, 2007, 6:08pm, JenniferD wrote:Maybe spouse should let him know?
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Tell him to back off, then block him at the first hint of the same BS. Tell him yourself.......means more that way. Nothing second hand.
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PollyPocket
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #11 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:45pm » |
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ok, how's this:
"Online friends are fine. But understand this: I don't appreciate being "duped" to coerce me into opening a msg. And I thought I made it clear that I don't have any intention on going away with you anywhere, so you shouldn't be telling me you wish I was there or hinting that you need a travelling partner, because its not me. Don't go there again, K? "
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Racer1_NC
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #12 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:50pm » |
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on Aug 20th, 2007, 6:45pm, JenniferD wrote:ok, how's this:
"Online friends are fine. But understand this: I don't appreciate being "duped" to coerce me into opening a msg. And I thought I made it clear that I don't have any intention on going away with you anywhere, so you shouldn't be telling me you wish I was there or hinting that you need a travelling partner, because its not me. Don't go there again,or you will lose a friend. K? "
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"Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime."
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PollyPocket
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #13 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:52pm » |
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PERFECT Bill! Consider it sent!
Someone keeps checking my page every few minutes, so Im sure its him.
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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john_d
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #14 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:57pm » |
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good luck reasoning with your 'friend' that you have intuitively thought maybe dangerous, the same guy who wants you to go live in his cabin deep in the woods away from everyone but him and that keeps paging you every few minutes. Sounds like a great opportunity.
Sorry to be so sarcastic, just boggles my mind a little.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:57pm by john_d » |
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Jonny
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #15 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 6:57pm » |
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Oh man....theres no death threat in that message....bummer!
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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chewy
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #16 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 7:07pm » |
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Remove from your "friends" and block him.
He'll move on.
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nani
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #17 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 7:13pm » |
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Block him.
Girls are raised to be polite, and to try never to hurt someone's feelings. We bring that into womanhood. So, even if alarms are going off... we hesitate... just in case we are wrong. We wouldn't want to hurt a "nice" guy's feelings. So many women are victimized because of that...
Fukem... and stay safe.
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #18 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 7:19pm » |
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Trust your gut feelings and instincts. Block him now. Who needs all the extra drama anyways ! If he was a real catch, he wouldn't be using MYSPACE to meet women.
Block him now and don't look back !
Goodluck'
UNsolved
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Ray
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #19 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 7:34pm » |
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I agree with many responders so far. The ammended message that you propose is best. Anything beyond that, block him, bar the door, and be on the watch for creepy people hanging around the property.
These days, there are too many psychos out there (they've kicked them out of the institutions, don't ya know?).
We love ya Jen, we're family and we want what's best for you.
Ray
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You have my prayers and compassion-I'm right there with you.
Dum tempus habemus, operemur bonum
*While we have the time, let us do good*
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PollyPocket
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #20 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 8:02pm » |
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Told ya he was watching! Here's his response:
OK. You just lost a friend. I was under the mistaken impression that you could use a friend. I know I always need new friends. My mistake. I'll see you around sometime.
deleted and blocked. Period.
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Racer1_NC
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #21 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 8:14pm » |
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on Aug 20th, 2007, 8:02pm, JenniferD wrote:Told ya he was watching! Here's his response:
OK. You just lost a friend. I was under the mistaken impression that you could use a friend. I know I always need new friends. My mistake. I'll see you around sometime.
deleted and blocked. Period. |
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About what I expected. Ya done good.
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Charlie
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #22 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 8:15pm » |
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Quote:| OK. You just lost a friend. I was under the mistaken impression that you could use a friend. I know I always need new friends. My mistake. I'll see you around sometime. |
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He is the one that lost the friend.
You're supposed to meet at McDonalds first, not a cabin in the woods.
Good move Jen.
Charlie
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| « Last Edit: Aug 20th, 2007, 8:15pm by Charlie » |
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PollyPocket
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #23 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 8:22pm » |
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Pretty damn defensive for someone who just wanted to be "friends", wouldn't you say?
Thanks for the advice y'all! And I am DAMN GLAD I didn't dismiss the "alarms".
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Redd
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Re: How truthful is too cruel?
« Reply #24 on: Aug 20th, 2007, 8:27pm » |
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My space is natorious for the "less than desirable" sort of people.
Jen I knew right away when you said "the bells went off" that you would do the right thing.
Now if only my hearing would get better...LMAO. Just kidding.
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