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Topic: Tips from the Hormone Hostage (Read 258 times) |
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Azrael
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Sometimes... Being good just ain't worth it.
   
 
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Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« on: Jul 11th, 2007, 7:17pm » |
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The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck .
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more wine.
13 Things PMS Stands For :
1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10 Pissy Mood Syndrome
11 Plainly; Men Suck
12 Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one!
13. Potential Murder Suspect
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"Hello police? I would like to report a robbery. Someone stole all my beer while I was drunk."
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Redd
CH.com Alumnus
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #1 on: Jul 11th, 2007, 7:21pm » |
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14. Putting up with Men's Shit
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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PollyPocket
CH.com Alumnus
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Someone I am is waiting for my courage.
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #2 on: Jul 11th, 2007, 7:25pm » |
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F'in HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened.  " - Tori
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Rosybabe
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"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!!
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #3 on: Jul 11th, 2007, 7:28pm » |
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 Believing is just the beginning!
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Redd
CH.com Alumnus
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #4 on: Jul 11th, 2007, 9:08pm » |
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Where is my glass of wine? 
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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AussieBrian
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Got beer?
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #5 on: Jul 11th, 2007, 11:37pm » |
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PMS...BSE... I always get the two confused.
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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cash5542
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #6 on: Jul 12th, 2007, 12:15am » |
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Can't wait to get back to work in the fall and pass it along to my 95% female faculty!
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| « Last Edit: Jul 12th, 2007, 12:45am by cash5542 » |
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thebbz
CH.com Alumnus
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Ow,Ow,Ow
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #7 on: Jul 12th, 2007, 12:17am » |
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Thanks Mr. I really needed that one.
Love means knowing when to duck.
jb
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It wasn't me I didn't do it
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tanner
CH.com Alumnus
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Adopt a POW/MIA I have
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #8 on: Jul 12th, 2007, 12:22am » |
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on Jul 11th, 2007, 7:21pm, Redd wrote:| 14. Putting up with Men's Shit |
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It's a tough gig but someone has to give you girls something to talk about in the Ladies Room
......Luv ya Pegg.........Tim
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I AM THE MASTER OF MY MIND, MY BODY, AND MY EMOTIONS...
it's just my head that sucks...http://www.centerforlit.com/
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sldrswyfe
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #9 on: Jul 12th, 2007, 7:54am » |
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That was GREEEAT!!! Funny as hell...because it's completely ACCURATE ...definately something that will be printed out and passed on.
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"Great spirits have always found violent
opposition from the mediocrities." -Einstein
"I'll DIE on MY FEET, before I LIVE on MY KNEES"...thanks Jonny...that meant alot
"Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wave?"....Your damn right it does.
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Tara Ann
CH.com Alumnus
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #10 on: Jul 12th, 2007, 8:38am » |
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I believe the mans ultra safe always should be here's my paycheck, buy whatever your heart desires.
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http://www.myspace.com/taraann77
 
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sandie99
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #11 on: Jul 12th, 2007, 9:03am » |
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I'll pass that wine, but a pack of danes is always welcome.
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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sldrswyfe
CH.com Alumnus
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Re: Tips from the Hormone Hostage
« Reply #12 on: Jul 12th, 2007, 12:12pm » |
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Yes...that definately would be the ultra safe and sure thing...you never know when pms is going to strike    ...be afraid, be very afraid....  
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"Great spirits have always found violent
opposition from the mediocrities." -Einstein
"I'll DIE on MY FEET, before I LIVE on MY KNEES"...thanks Jonny...that meant alot
"Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wave?"....Your damn right it does.
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