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alienspacebabe
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ASB's gonna blow!
« on: Jun 24th, 2007, 8:00pm » |
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If one more person forgets me, I'm gonna go off the deep end.
- Plans to get together, either forgotten or ignored.
- Promised phone calls.
- Forgetting the simplest details about me after asking me more than a dozen times.
- "Oh, I forgot you were there."
- "I'll be there at 5" - not here, no call, and it's 7:30.
WTF happened to "I can't make it"? Or "something came up; sorry I didn't call"? Or even "I changed my mind"?
I'm tired of being the forgotten one.
Someone suggested it might be because I'm so easy-going - that because I'm so accepting, it's easy to take advantage of me, or put me off, thinking "she'll understand." Is that it? Or is there some flaw in me that causes this? When it happens a few times, you can believe it's them. When it happens this much, it must be you.
I'm venting. I'm tired of being taken for granted. I'm sick of being treated like crap. I can't tolerate being forgotten again, not even if its by those I love.
My sister and BIL think it's okay for their oldest to repeatedly put his plastic spider on me. I got chewed out for telling him to stop, and was told to not discipline him (discipline? ha ha). And having him pound his spoon full of yams on the table, splattering them onto my new white dress, was okay too. Frustrating. Still, I will not allow someone to terrorize me, even if he's 3 1/2, with a spider (pretend or not).
I hate my job right now. The "situation" at work is still there - haven't had an opportunity to deal with it, but I definitely will. It's become demoralizing and is affecting the quality of my work (which is normally beyond excellent).
Friends who've been meaning to do xxxxx (ironing, cleaning, errands, etc) and decide that our time together is when it'll get done instead of seeing me. So... everything else is more important than that crap but I'm not?
Reverse S.A.D. doesn't help, either.
When you're being shit on, it seems to come from all sides, doesn't it? And when you're already feeling like shit, feeling so alone you think you'll disappear, all that shit raining down on you solidifies the feeling into truth.
It comes down to this: How could you forget me yet again? Am I that unimportant? Am I a disposable friend? Does it not matter that you've hurt me?
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BarbaraD
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #1 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 8:13pm » |
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 (I don't know how to do hugs)
Take a deep breath and warm bubble bath and don't answer the phone for a week - let 'em wonder what you're up to kiddo.... Then just smile when they ask..
And a three year old SHOULD be corrected (this from Granny Barb) -- if his parents don't do it then let 'em bitch -- I don't blame you for NOT taking crap off kids. I love my little Caleb, but I'll smack him in a NY minute if he were spashing yams on MY new white dress. (and his parents would be replacing the damn dress!).
As far as work goes -- tune 'em out. Get 'em fired - whatever you gotta do. Be a bitch if ya have to - just don't let it get ya down.
And remember -- I love ya so what else do you need?
Hugs BD
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cynjeep89
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #2 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 8:15pm » |
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Liz,
You can't control what other people do but you can control how much you do for others.
A while ago, I found myself doing so much for others only to let what what I needed to do for myself take second place.....it just doesn't work. Everyone around me was happy but I was miserable as sh*t and you know whose fault it was? Mine!
First of all, take care of you! Everyone else just has to wait. Sure, some might get ticked off and angry but so what? They will get either get mad or get over it.
Quit letting these people treat you this way...you do not deserve it by any means. You have a beautiful spirit, you are giving and caring and would do anything for anyone.....now you have to benefit from these qualities and be kind to yourself.
I will share my "How To Be A B*tch In 10 Easy Steps" lessons if you are interested 
Loads of hugs to you. Liz and call if you need to vent.
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alienspacebabe
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #3 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 8:21pm » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 8:13pm, BarbaraD wrote:
And remember -- I love ya so what else do you need?
Hugs BD |
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Needed to vent. Thanks for taking the time to listen to it.
on Jun 24th, 2007, 8:13pm, BarbaraD wrote: let 'em wonder what you're up to kiddo.... Then just smile when they ask..
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Is that like skipping the panties under a sundress but not telling anyone?
on Jun 24th, 2007, 8:13pm, BarbaraD wrote:| Get 'em fired - whatever you gotta do. Be a bitch if ya have to - just don't let it get ya down. |
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Fired? I'd settle for awake and working. Ooh - but I can be a bitch!? Thanks!!
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #4 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 8:51pm » |
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You can be a bitch if you wanna!  There - now you have permission from the two Grandmas on the board.
I'd have tanned that kid's backside if he'd spoiled my dress! Sounds like a complete lack of discipline. That's to be expected from an 18 month old - not one his age.
You hang in there Lizzie. You deserve so much more than you're getting.
I like Barb's idea of not answering the phone and leaving them all to wonder what you're up to!
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tanner
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #5 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 8:54pm » |
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"would you notice if i disappeared?"
Yes! Big Time!!!
....Hugs and Love ......Tim and Linda
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Opus
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #6 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 9:12pm » |
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Babe,
Don't let the idiots get you down. If one of those peaple ask you for help be sure to forget about ever talking to them after making the plans. As for the sisters kid, say you can't come visit until he can keep his hands and food to himself.
Paul
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George_J
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #7 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 9:14pm » |
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I'm not sure where it comes from.
There seems to be a large sub-group that thinks that making a commitment, whether to contact someone or to show up at a particular place and time isn't really an obligation, but something to do if it is convenient for them. I don't get it--it would eat at me.
I suppose that it's a matter of whether one was taught manners, or bothered to learn them. Manners are common sense. Common sense is fairly uncommon, though..... As I often tell my daughter, it's as if some people believe that the world--people and physical objects--is on TV, and not real. They're the ones that you see driving as if they're the only drivers on the road. The ones you see treating others as if they are cutout figures, and not actual people.
The guy, for that matter, that I once watched as he walked out on the lip of Upper Mesa Falls near Yellowstone Park, clear out to mid-river. One slip on the rocks, and he would have been burger 300 feet below. Not a matter of manners--but the basis of manners is common sense. He lacked it. I'm sure he was probably rude, as well.
World's on TV.....a backdrop for their ongoing personal drama, and nothing else. Changing scenery for their own little self-absorbed play.
Sheesh. Don't get me started--but I guess I already have. 
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| « Last Edit: Jun 24th, 2007, 9:15pm by George_J » |
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
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It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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john_d
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 9:14pm, George_J wrote:| There seems to be a large sub-group that thinks that making a commitment, whether to contact someone or to show up at a particular place and time isn't really an obligation, but something to do if it is convenient for them. I don't get it--it would eat at me. |
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Yep, I call them flakes but rarely friend.
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alienspacebabe
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #9 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 9:40pm » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 9:12pm, Opus wrote: As for the sisters kid, say you can't come visit until he can keep his hands and food to himself.
Paul |
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I'm more ticked about being chewed out for asking him to get it off me, then asking him to get the plastic beetle off my plate so I could eat. "We have rules. You may not understand them. We need to be consistent. In the future ask us before you discipline him." (then he walked away before I could say anything) How is that disciplining him? BIL made it clear that this is acceptable behavior in that house. Sad, really. That is one thing I won't change - no one, no one puts spiders on me, fake or real, and gets away with it. How the fuck is that funny?
btw - I didn't leave immediately because it was my mom's birthday celebration (to which I was invited the night before - an afterthought).
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Redd
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #10 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 9:59pm » |
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Crap Sis,
Seems that the winds of June have blown foul for may of us. Not just Clusterheads, but many people I know. I do however trust that the wind tides are changing soon. Remember that the engergies effect us all, all at the same time. It's not a you vs them, but a synergistic totality.
Please call some of us. Lean on us when you need to. We would miss you. Many of us would.
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stevegeebe
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #11 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 10:08pm » |
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Space,
Shake it off. Remember what you are saying now the next time you are asked for...whatever....
Sure, it hurts...but I've come to realize that those folks are not the lest bit as concerned. They will sleep well tonight and your anger is only hurting one person. Guess who that is?
I, now, only do for a select few.
I don't help users any longer.
Good Luck.
Steve G
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Tara Ann
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #12 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 10:30pm » |
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So sorry ppl are treating you this way Liz! But hey don't blow that sure would be messy ! Hang in there ppl suck sometimes! Big hugs hun.
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jimmers
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #13 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 10:54pm » |
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Liz,
You and I have the same problem. We are what the head doctors call a "Caretaker" or maybe even an "Enabler"
It usually goes like this:
Give
Give
Give
Give
Sooner or later the giving comes to be expected, but when you resist a little bit, all of a sudden we get labeled.
Gimme a call,
Jimmers
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Linda_Howell
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #14 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 12:57am » |
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It IS all your fault Liz.
You should have moved to California years ago.
An Ann Landers column caught my eye one day because of it's title..something about being "used" by loved ones.
Ann's advice was: NO ONE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION.
Now go take that bubble bath after pouring yourself an (whatever pink drink you drank at the last convention) and think only about how you can get even.
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cathip
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #15 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 1:09am » |
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HEAR< HEAR, Miz Linda Lou!
Lizzie, life is too short to waste time on people who don't value you, ya hear???
Now, take that bubbliebath, drink your Cosmo or whatever floats your boat, and next time these ingrates call, you're busy.....K?
Cathi-who think's you're worth a million!!!
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JeffB
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #16 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 1:11am » |
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I'm so sorry. I received a card some weeks ago and I still owe you a little somehting that I had PROMISED months before that. I'm in a tough spot right now and I haven't really thought about those things lately but I will make sure to take a bit of time to send ya some stuff from here. Plus the 10k of crack you ordered  . Kidding about the crack...! And I do appreciate your cards and kind words. Sorry for my lack of follow up, I will try and do better!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Charlie
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #17 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 1:42am » |
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Liz:
Put them on your fecal register and keep up the rants. You're doing just fine but I think you should break some old stemware or make some other futile jesture, and get hold of some Bombay gin. 
Stick around Cuddlepumpkin.
Charlie
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Tara Ann
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #18 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 9:04am » |
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martyr syndrome... I have issues with it (esp with my youngest siblings) and I have been working very hard on NOT doing it anymore. Try your hardest to not let ppl walk on you or use you anymore...it's hard to stop taking care of everyone else all the time. But you gotta weane yourself off it (sorry for the bad spelling this am)
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Mosaicwench
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #19 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 9:05am » |
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Hiya Lizzie.
You and I have gone through similar losses in recent months. Don't discount that you are still grieving and this is a natural part of that process. It doesn't make it any easier but at least you can ascribe a name or a process to it.
I find that when I get in these funks I have to do something physical. Those who know me know that is a highly unnatural state for me - given the choice I will sit under a tree with a good book and iced tea for hours.
The last time I got this way my salvation was 12 yards of mulch in my driveway. I had to push myself and sweat through my clothes multiple times but the physical act of spreading the mulch and breathing deeply and becoming more aware of my body gave me some much needed perspective on becoming invisible. And when it was all over my gardens looked fabulous!
I hope you find something to help you through this.
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Linda_Howell
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #20 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 11:30am » |
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That's the ticket Pat. !!!!
Liz go out and get yourself a John Deere.
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Shedz
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #21 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 11:34am » |
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Surely you meant a Massy Ferguson Linda
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I push my fingers into my eyes, It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache, But it's made of all the things I have to take, Jesus it never ends it just works its way inside, If the pain goes on, I AM gonna make it.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xps7AM8HbjE
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Rosybabe
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #22 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 1:40pm » |
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whenever you are in contact with that little monster (nephew) get on you knee and put a big smile on your face and then talking through your teeth with the deepest and quiet voice just for him to listen...tell him that whenever you are around he better be away from you or...else (here you can say anything you may think will scare a child his age) ...
It worked for me, when I had to deal with a 6 year old neighbor who keeps coming and throwing cheetos to my dogs (bag included) over the fence. 
I told him: "if I ever find my dogs eating your stuff again, I will go at night to your place and I will feed you my dogs S..!" of course, smiling the whole time
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| « Last Edit: Jun 25th, 2007, 10:07pm by Rosybabe » |
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Jonny
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #23 on: Jun 25th, 2007, 8:38pm » |
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on Jun 25th, 2007, 1:40pm, Rosybabe wrote:whenever you are in contact with that little monster (nephew) get on you knee and put a big smile in your face and then talking through your teeth with the deepest and quietest voise just for him to listen...tell him that whenever you are around he better be away from you or...else (here you can say anything you may think will scare a child his age) ...
It worked for me, when I had to deal with a 6 year old neighbor who keeps coming a throwing cheetos to my dogs (bag included) over the fence.
I told him: "if I ever find my dogs eating your stuff again, I will go at night to your place and I will feed you my dogs S..!" of course, smiling the whole time |
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I think I just feel in love with you!.....LOL
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alienspacebabe
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Re: ASB's gonna blow!
« Reply #24 on: Jun 26th, 2007, 8:54pm » |
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Pegg - if it's the winds of June, does that mean July will be better?
Jimmer - can't call without your damn phone number.
Jeffiepoo - as I said, take care of yourself and your dad first.
Pat - you've got an excellent point. it's making it harder for me to be patient and accommodating, among other things.
Guess I hit a chord. I'm not the only one feeling like this....
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