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Topic: Wimminz Talk .... (Read 561 times) |
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ClusterChuck
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Wimminz Talk ....
« on: Jun 24th, 2007, 5:01am » |
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1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying FUCK YOU!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.
Oye vay!!!!
No wonder I am gay!
Chuck
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Shedz
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #1 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 5:19am » |
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 And there's the LOOK, every man knows it!! But women just don't understand that we poor men are NOT BLOODY MIND READERS!!!!!! 
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I push my fingers into my eyes, It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache, But it's made of all the things I have to take, Jesus it never ends it just works its way inside, If the pain goes on, I AM gonna make it.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xps7AM8HbjE
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michael
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #2 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 5:24am » |
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Dont be too hard on them. The poor things dont even know they are doing it.
Mike
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Shedz
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #3 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 5:26am » |
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You do realise that we gonna pay for this later!!!
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I push my fingers into my eyes, It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache, But it's made of all the things I have to take, Jesus it never ends it just works its way inside, If the pain goes on, I AM gonna make it.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xps7AM8HbjE
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PollyPocket
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #4 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 8:14am » |
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Good morning Gentlemen
Would you please define a word MEN use all the time, because I for one fail to understand....being the simple minded woman and all 
The word is "everything"
I'll set the stage: husband goes to work, comes home from work and sits in chair. He eats dinner, reads the paper, watches tv, showers and goes to bed.
Wife goes to work, goes to the grocery store, stops at the post office, goes to the bank because HE needs cash, comes home, unloads groceries, prepares dinner, fixes husband's plate and brings it to him because he is in his chair in front of the tv, gets him seconds if he wants more, clears the dishes, puts the food away, kids clean the kitchen, wife continues with laundry, pays the bills, MAYBE has some time to sit down to watch tv (this is the definition of spending time together), turns down the bed, picks up the laundry off the bathroom floor, sets the alarm for husband, wakes at 2 am to make sure he is gets up, makes his lunch at 3 in the morning then begins the same routine as the day before. The ONE THING that may not have gotten done and he will LOUDLY PROCLAIM AFTER A HEAVY SIGH: "I'll do it! I have to do EVERYTHING around here if anything needs to get done!!!"
Please Gentlemen, enlighten me, I beg you. Define "everything"
Tired Jen
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Shedz
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #6 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 8:46am » |
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Women have SO MANY faults, men have only two.........
Everything we say and everything we do........................
Or so my darling Debbie says..................
Paul.
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I push my fingers into my eyes, It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache, But it's made of all the things I have to take, Jesus it never ends it just works its way inside, If the pain goes on, I AM gonna make it.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xps7AM8HbjE
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michael
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #7 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 9:08am » |
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Jennifer, the word `everything' in the context you describe is not the normal definition of everything, but mans attempt at female logic! 
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jimmers
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #8 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 9:30am » |
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Wife goes to work, goes to the grocery store, stops at the post office, goes to the bank because HE needs cash, comes home, unloads groceries, prepares dinner, fixes husband's plate and brings it to him because he is in his chair in front of the tv, gets him seconds if he wants more, clears the dishes, puts the food away, kids clean the kitchen, wife continues with laundry, pays the bills, MAYBE has some time to sit down to watch tv (this is the definition of spending time together), turns down the bed, picks up the laundry off the bathroom floor, sets the alarm for husband, wakes at 2 am to make sure he is gets up, makes his lunch at 3 in the morning then begins the same routine as the day before.
Does this woman have any sisters?
She does have one flaw though, Where is his beer?
Jimmers
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Brew
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #9 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 9:33am » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 8:14am, JenniferD wrote:"I'll do it! I have to do EVERYTHING around here if anything needs to get done!!!"
Please Gentlemen, enlighten me, I beg you. Define "everything" |
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Jen,
I would not dream of uttering such a statement. Pat knows, and I know, that this would be the first step on the path to sleeping in the shed. Or the back seat of my car.
She's the one who does "everything" around here. I help out where I can - folding and putting away laundry, cooking once in awhile, a few mechanical odds and ends, etc.
I adore her for it, and for some odd reason she adores me for bringing home the bacon. But we kinda like it that way.
Bill
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PollyPocket
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #10 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 9:54am » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 9:30am, jimmers wrote:
She does have one flaw though, Where is his beer?
Jimmers |
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She bought that at the grocery store, served it with his dinner and when she got up to clear the dishes, she heard, "as long as you're up..... "
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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kimmiedawn81
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #11 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 10:13am » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 8:14am, JenniferD wrote:Good morning Gentlemen
Would you please define a word MEN use all the time, because I for one fail to understand....being the simple minded woman and all
The word is "everything"
I'll set the stage: husband goes to work, comes home from work and sits in chair. He eats dinner, reads the paper, watches tv, showers and goes to bed.
Wife goes to work, goes to the grocery store, stops at the post office, goes to the bank because HE needs cash, comes home, unloads groceries, prepares dinner, fixes husband's plate and brings it to him because he is in his chair in front of the tv, gets him seconds if he wants more, clears the dishes, puts the food away, kids clean the kitchen, wife continues with laundry, pays the bills, MAYBE has some time to sit down to watch tv (this is the definition of spending time together), turns down the bed, picks up the laundry off the bathroom floor, sets the alarm for husband, wakes at 2 am to make sure he is gets up, makes his lunch at 3 in the morning then begins the same routine as the day before. The ONE THING that may not have gotten done and he will LOUDLY PROCLAIM AFTER A HEAVY SIGH: "I'll do it! I have to do EVERYTHING around here if anything needs to get done!!!"
Please Gentlemen, enlighten me, I beg you. Define "everything"
Tired Jen |
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Oh, I would type all that out, print it and the next time he says, "I have to do EVERYTHING around here." Hand him the piece of paper!
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DennisM1045
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #12 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 10:24am » |
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Thanks for the translation Chuck. This nicely sums up what I've learned over 26 years of marriage. The only thing you left out was about women needing to get in the last word. This was nicely demonstrated by Jen hijacking your thread
-Dennis-
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midwestbeth
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #14 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 10:48am » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 10:24am, DennisM1045 wrote:Thanks for the translation Chuck. This nicely sums up what I've learned over 26 years of marriage. The only thing you left out was about women needing to get in the last word. This was nicely demonstrated by Jen hijacking your thread
-Dennis-
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ROFLMAO
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Do more than listen - understand
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Rosybabe
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #15 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 10:51am » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 10:24am, DennisM1045 wrote:Thanks for the translation Chuck. This nicely sums up what I've learned over 26 years of marriage. The only thing you left out was about women needing to get in the last word. This was nicely demonstrated by Jen hijacking your thread
-Dennis-
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We (women) can hijack anything we want, who is going to tell us no?
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PollyPocket
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #16 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 10:57am » |
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here's a last word for ya Dennis: Fine. (see # 1)
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #17 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 11:55am » |
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------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------
Dont be too hard on them. The poor things dont even know they are doing it.
Mike
ROTMFFLMAO !!!!! whatever.
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DennisM1045
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #18 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 11:58am » |
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Shutting up now...
I'm off to the grocery store...
(see what 26 years of training will do for ya) 
-Dennis-
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PollyPocket
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #19 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 12:09pm » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 11:58am, DennisM1045 wrote:
I'm off to the grocery store...
-Dennis- |
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As long as you're up.......... 
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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tanner
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #20 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 12:26pm » |
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Jen I will second Brews response!!! Remind to roll my eyes later.
Since on July the 10th while many of you are RichCon bound or already there My Linda and I will hit the 36 blissful years mark and I really don't have the energy to train another
What Brew said!!!
Thats my story and I am stickin to it .....Tim
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Brew
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #21 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 12:49pm » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 12:26pm, tanner wrote: Jen I will second Brews response!!! Remind to roll my eyes later.
Since on July the 10th while many of you are RichCon bound or already there My Linda and I will hit the 36 blissful years mark and I really don't have the energy to train another
What Brew said!!!
Thats my story and I am stickin to it .....Tim
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Tim - You are a trained good man.
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minnie
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #22 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 2:49pm » |
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ThanksChuck and fellow chuckleheads men if you want to make generalizations about us women thats okay !!it means nothing to me.SIGH ...... Fine,go ahead post WHATEVER your little heart desiresI'm outa here
say whatever !!! I don't have to get the last word in.....
What? are you gonna try to get the last word in....
Fine........Whatever
I still luvs ya 
Modified cuz I'm a woman and I can
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| « Last Edit: Jun 24th, 2007, 2:51pm by minnie » |
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minnie
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #23 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 3:50pm » |
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>> WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
>>
>> She's sitting at the table with her
>> gourmet coffee.
>> Her son is on the cover of the
>> Wheaties box.
>> Her daughter is on the cover of
>> Business Week.
>> Her boyfriend is on the cover of
>> Playgirl.
>> And her husband is on the back of
>> the milk carton. �
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>> WOMEN'S REVENGE
>> "Cash, check or charge?" I asked,
>> after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
>> As she fumbled for her wallet, I
>> noticed a remote control for a television set in her
>> purse.
>> "So, do you always carry your TV
>> remote?" I asked.
>> "No," she replied, "but my husband
>> refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this
>> was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>> WIFE VS. HUSBAND
>>
>> A couple drove down a country road
>> for several miles, not saying a word.
>> An earlier discussion had led to an
>> argument and
>> neither of them wanted to concede
>> their position .
>> As they passed a barnyard of mules,
>> goats, and pigs,
>> the husband asked sarcastically,
>> "Relatives of yours?"
>> "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
>> ____________________________________________
>> CREATION
>>
>> A man said to his wife one day, "I
>> don't know how you can be
>> so stupid and so beautiful all at
>> the same time.
>> "The wife responded, "Allow me to
>> explain.
>> God made me beautiful so you would
>> be attracted to me;
>> God made me stupid so I would be
>> attracted to you!
> ----------------------------------------------------------------
>> WHO DOES WHAT
>> A man and his wife were having an
>> argument about who
>> should brew the coffee each morning.
>>
>> The wife said, "You should do it
>> because you get up first,
>> and then we don't have to wait as
>> long to get our coffee.
>> The husband said, "You are in charge
>> of cooking around here and
>> you should do it, because that is
>> your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
>> Wife replies, "No, you should do it,
>> and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should
>> do the coffee."
>> Husband replies, "I can't believe
>> that, show me."
>> So she fetched the Bible, and opened
>> the New Testament and showed him at the top of
>> several pages, that it indeed says ..........
>> "HEBREWS"
>>
>> �____________________
>> The Silent Treatment
>> A man and his wife were having some
>> problems at home
>> and were giving each other the
>> silent treatment.
>> Suddenly, the man realized that the
>> next day, he would need his wife to wake him
>> at 5:00 AM for an early morning
>> business flight.
>> Not wanting to be the first to break
>> the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of
>> paper,
>> "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left
>> it where he knew she would find it.
>> The next morning, the man woke up,
>> only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed
>> his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why
>> his wife hadn't wakened him,
>> when he noticed a piece of paper by
>> the bed.
>> The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake
>> up."
>> Men are not equipped for these kinds
>> of contests.
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Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road.
They pass each other.
The woman yells out the window, PIG!
Man yells out window, B I T C H!
Man rounds next curve.
Crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies.
Thought For the Day: If only men would listen
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Jonny
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Re: Wimminz Talk ....
« Reply #24 on: Jun 24th, 2007, 5:00pm » |
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on Jun 24th, 2007, 5:01am, ClusterChuck wrote:
Your gay? 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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