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Topic: One very bad mothers day. (Read 244 times) |
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Mattrf
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Thank god for my wife and kids who keep me alive.
 
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One very bad mothers day.
« on: May 22nd, 2007, 6:11pm » |
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I have not posted here in some time, to be honest I am not sure why, it might be since I have SUNCT and not CH that I no longer feel the connection I did when the doctors thought I did have CH, or it could be that I just got to the point of not wanting to put my feelings out there on this board just to have certain people attack me and you know who you are so don’t bother.
I have also been having a very rough time of it, I have past the 1.5 year mark with no brake in my cycle, and between my condition and our teenage daughter my wife is ready for a padded room and I am not joking, she has been seeing a shrink for some time now and is taking all kinds of meds to try and control her depression and stress she even got put on stress leave from work for a month and just went back this past week only to be right back to the same stress level she was at when she left.
I feel horrible to my part of this and would do anything to change it, she is always worrying about how much pain I am in and also if I would leave her and the kids because of the stress being too much on top of the pain or that I would just not be able to take the pain anymore and end my life just to escape the pain. Weekend before last was my father’s 70th birthday and the family through a huge party up in Auburn for him, now this is a 3.5 hour drive from my house and I don’t travel well or deal with crowds and load noise and it always brings on an ugly attack. I have not seen most of my family since they all live up there since before this cycle started so it was nice seeing everyone and I even wore ear plugs and tried to stay away from the noise as much as I could. We got a hotel room and spent the night and I woke at 6:00 AM to incredible pain, my wife was frantic she called my step mom and was trying to find out where the nearest ER was even though she knew I would not let her take me to one, the last thing I need is to be stuck in a waiting room and be treated like a druggy looking for a fix when I am in that much pain, oh and let’s not forget this was mother’s day, my wife said it was her worst ever and that I looked like I was going to die. I have Oxycodone for the pain and I took about ten or more and a couple extra strength Excedrin and an ant-nausea pill over about a four hour period and by noon I was finally able to get out of the bed and into the car for the three hour drive home. It also always takes about three or four days for the headaches to ramp back down to the level they were before the severe attack so it back to its normal nasty self now. We had a new doctor start here at the center and she heard about my headaches and asked me about them so I gave her a run down on it and she just looked at me and said “how do you function?” I just shook my head and said I have no idea, and I don’t but it has been getting harder and harder all the added stress of my wife and daughter does not help but to be honest I don’t know if that really has that big of an impact on the daily constant pain that I have to deal with. I should probably be seeing a shrink but we just can’t take on another doctor bill and my wife is already seeing one, outwardly she looks to be in worse shape than I am, her job is at risk right now because of her condition and that just stresses her out more and makes me work harder at making sure mine is not at risk. I am seeing my doctor on Thursday and I already sent him a message about what happened on mother’s day and asked him to write me something I would be able to take into an ER that would explain my condition and tell them to treat me and how to treat me, at least that way if I have another bad one I will go to the ER and maybe even get some relief, this is like the third or fourth time that it had gotten so bad that I should have gone to an ER and have not, guess I should have thought about the note from the doctor thing a long time ago. Sorry for how long this was I am just feeling helpless and hopeless right now but I think we all go through these periods at times. Sure hope I get the note from the doctor, my daughter is graduating high school in a couple weeks and we have to have a party for her, at least it will be at home and I can hide out in the house since it will be an outside party but the problem is I don’t know what the real trigger is or how much it takes to make me have a bad attack, kind of like playing Russian roulette with your brain. Sorry for not being around and giving support I have just not been up to the task in the last month or two.
Matt
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There is no stronger a person then one who can deal with brain pain and still function.
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PollyPocket
CH.com Alumnus
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Someone I am is waiting for my courage.
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Re: One very bad mothers day.
« Reply #1 on: May 22nd, 2007, 6:42pm » |
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Matt, its not your time to give support, its your time to receive it. And you have ours completely. Take the time you need and KNOW that you are in our hearts, thoughts and prayers- all of you are.
Fight when you can, rest when you need, and we'll be here holding you up.
Jen
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened.  " - Tori
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artonio7
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Re: One very bad mothers day.
« Reply #2 on: May 22nd, 2007, 7:40pm » |
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Matt sorry to hear about the troubled times you're having. Life sure does seem like a roller coaster ride to hell at times. Just keep in mind that it's not always downhill.
Here is a link to the Emergency room card that you mentioned. Although you have sunct the card is designed for people with ch, perhaps you can use it as a model and then have your doc look it over for some suggestions.
I hope it helps http://www.ouch-us.org/downloads/ercard5807.pdf
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
with warm regards,
Tony
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kayarr
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Re: One very bad mothers day.
« Reply #3 on: May 22nd, 2007, 8:11pm » |
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I am so sorry it is so hard for you right now. Know you are cared about and being held up in prayer and please talk as much as you need. That is why we are here.
much love and support to your whole family,
Kimberly
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cootie
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sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
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Re: One very bad mothers day.
« Reply #4 on: May 23rd, 2007, 12:26am » |
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Could stress be a trigger for you......there's all kinds of stress.........just figureing out what to wear and do all my chores before I can go out the door stresses me out. Anyhow......I'm finding it harder to handle large crowds and I am used to them 'or was'......I am less tolerable to a hectic life and to pain or to people that piss me off or I don't like (by the way.....I don't ave ch).....but does AGE come to play in sum or all of that ? I tell ya what tho........kids SURE CAN PUT A WHAMMY ON YA stress wise !! They seem to get thru it with time and forget about it and move on but it sure seems to leave us parents LESS for the wear and the tear. It did me....it was a rough time when my daughter was a teen and pulled all her SHIT ! She's fine now with 3 kids......strugglin financially but she seems to see it as NOT THERE FAULT. (banks are mean for wanting payments and harrassing calls and bill collectors are bad for bein so pushy stuff) but she handles all that goin on better then I ever would. It was total hell around here dureing those days with her her dureing the teen years!!! And it does help to have sumone to go out with and sit and talk with about it all.......drink sum wine or beer and TALK it out. It's definetly not better liveing thru learning Pam
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Mattrf
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Thank god for my wife and kids who keep me alive.
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Re: One very bad mothers day.
« Reply #5 on: May 23rd, 2007, 11:28am » |
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Had a hell of a time getting out of bed today, more then normal, I wind up standing in the shower after being done just standing there wondering how the hell I am going to get through another day.
But once again I have made it out of the house and to work on time, I am just so thankful working in IT and being the only IT person that it makes it much easier on me, I can take brakes when I want and I have my network running so well that problems are rare so most of the time is spent monitoring or just goofing off, if I had a real job I would have probably lost it by now.
I appreciate the support from you guys, I really do and don’t know as most of us do what I would have done without this site for support so DJ and wife thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Well just over two weeks till graduation for my daughter so that should lighten the stress a bit especially if she manages to bring her grades back up so she does not lose her entrance to SF state, if she does that I think the wife and I will both go off the deeper end, I would say deep end but we are already off the deep end as it is. Then it is just a couple months and I hope she will be moving into the dorms and out of our house, we got a letter on Saturday saying that the dorms are full and to get on the waiting list for a room the forms would be available on-line at 9:00 AM Monday morning and had to be turned into the housing office with a $1,400 deposit in check so no paying on-line with a credit card to get your place on the waiting list. So When my wife called me at 8:45, they opened it up 15 minutes early and found out about the check thing I told her I was on my way home to get the checkbook and to have the paperwork ready for me when I got to her work and I would drive to SF state to drop it off in person to get her as high on the list as possible. It is a 30 mile drive one way to the college, I got there at 10:00 and was the very first one to turn in the paperwork so she is # 1 on the list of her group, the gal said since I brought it in so fast that she had an excellent chance of getting a room and that they had already had a bunch of cancelations and that we would know by the end of June if she had a room. I hope so it would help us and I really want her to have the full collage experience and that means dorm life and it would be so much better for her not to worry about all the driving each day and be able to concentrate on her studies and work because she will have to have a part time job to help pay for her schooling since we do not have the money to pay for it all on our own.
Thank again for listening.
matt
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There is no stronger a person then one who can deal with brain pain and still function.
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