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Topic: Mothers, Mums, Mothers Day (Read 177 times) |
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sandie99
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Mothers, Mums, Mothers Day
« on: May 12th, 2007, 2:45am » |
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Back here in Finland we're celebrating all Mothers on Sunday. It's Mothers Day.
I've always had a problem with those mugs with the text "world's greatest mum", because I've never had a simple relationship with my mother. My mum is a problem-solver type; she sees problems everywhere and solution - which I and others must obey. So it is hard have a discussion with her; its not really dialogue, its her telling others how she sees everything to be done and there are absolutely no other choices and other possibilities.
I've spend most of my life trying to understand her and where she is coming from. I've learned that I can say "I love you" to her and mean it, but it is still hard to respect her, because she doesn't listen, she doesn't respect boundaries I try to set (so that I can breathe and have a life of my own) and she doesn't respect me.
Yet, as I type this post, I feel no anger, no malice, so sadness... just understanding and love towards her. She gave me life, now she wants to decide everything in my life, including what I'm doing with my life, whom I will share my life with and when I can give life to another person myself.  That's mum! 
The bond between a mother and child is something unique and sacret that I can only hope that I will get to understand it myself one of these years. It's a relationship which can be based on mutual understanding, love, warmth, closeness, togetherness. Mums are different, and I know that if I will be a mother (other than to my guinea pigs ) I will be a different kind of Mum.
And I'm sure that if I had siblings, they would have a different kind of mother experience to share. And a different kind of mum.
This Mothers Day I won't be wishing "Happy Mothers Day!" to Mum in person, but I sent her little something, I'm going to call her and she will get other gift when we'll see each other again.
To all the Mothers in this board, Have a wonderful day!
Sanna
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"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Mosaicwench
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Re: Mothers, Mums, Mothers Day
« Reply #1 on: May 12th, 2007, 8:57am » |
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Sometimes just realizing the complexity of the mother/child relationship is enough. You made a great leap by realizing you DO love her but may not "LIKE" her all the time - that's as natural as it comes.
At the risk of sounding maudlin, try to enjoy the time you have with her. My mother has been gone for 22 years and I miss her every day.
Happy Day to all the mom's here.
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BarbaraD
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Re: Mothers, Mums, Mothers Day
« Reply #2 on: May 12th, 2007, 9:27am » |
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My goodness Sandie, you sound like my son talking about me... 
In defense of moms out here -- we're not control freaks, we just try to do what's best for our children as we see it. We just don't want them making mistakes we've probably already made. I think I felt the same way about my mom. But if truth be told, she was usually right. (After I did it MY way - I usually had to admit it - at least to myself - that had I done it her way ....  ) She never said, "I told you so." She just had this "look" that said it all.
Now, while I love my son more than anything in the world (except maybe my grandson) I'll tell him when he's an idiot (but jump on anyone else who calls him that). We have always been close and have always communicated well (well, at least until he got married and his mother-in-law started feeding him full of stuff about me which he's just now figuring out was a bunch of bull - I just had to let him figure it out for himself - now we're communicating again). The only time I'm smart is when he's in trouble (usually financial) and needs help getting out of it. The rest of the time he thinks he knows what's best for me.
But Mother's Day only comes once a year, so be nice to all Mother's tomorrow. It's THEIR day and they deserve it. After all none of us would be here without them.
Hugs BD
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nani
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Re: Mothers, Mums, Mothers Day
« Reply #3 on: May 12th, 2007, 11:03am » |
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Sounds to me like you've finished growing up, sweetie. I worry about those who still blindly love their mothers as adults, LOL.
Mothers are human, just like the rest of us, with flaws.
Some mothers and daughters can be friends, others can't.
Have a wonderful day, Sanna. Maybe Casper and Eetu will bring you flowers. 
lots of love, nani
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Annette
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Re: Mothers, Mums, Mothers Day
« Reply #4 on: May 12th, 2007, 5:30pm » |
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THE CREATION OF A MOTHER
When the good Lord was creating mothers He was into his 6th day of overtime when an angel appeared and said : " You are doing a lot of fiddling with this one".
And the Lord said :" Have you read the specifications on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic ... have 180 movable parts ... run on black coffee and left overs ... have a lap that disappears when she stands up ... a kiss that can cure everything from a broken leg to a disappointing love affair ...and 6 pairs of hands".
The angel shook her head slowly and said : " 6 pairs of hands? No way .."
"Its not the hands that are causing me problems", said the Lord, " Its the 3 pairs of eyes that mothers have to have"
"Thats on a standard model? " Asked the angel.
The Lord nodded:" One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks " What are you kids doing in there" when she already knows. Another in the back of her head that sees what she shouldnt, but what she has to know".
"And, of course, the ones up front that can look ar a child when he gets himself into trouble and say " I understand and I love you" without so much as uttering a word".
"Lord", said the angel, touching his sleeve gently, " Go to bed. Tomorrow is another..."
"I cant", said the Lord, " I am so close now. Already I have one who can heal herself when she is sick, can feed a family of 6 on half a kilo of mince and can get a 9 years old to stand under a shower ..."
The angle circled the model of a mother very slowly " she is so soft " she sighed.
" But touch! " Said the Lord exceitedly " You cant imagine what this mother can do or endure"
" Can she think?"
" Not only think, but she can reason and compromise " said the Creator.
Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek "There is a leak " she pronounced.
"Thats not a leak" , said the Lord " Its a tear ".
" Whats that for? "
"Its for sadness, disappointment, pain and loneliness".
" You are a genius" said the angel.
The Lord looked sombre " I didnt put it there".
Happy Mothers Day everyone
Annette
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Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius.
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sandie99
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Re: Mothers, Mums, Mothers Day
« Reply #5 on: May 15th, 2007, 2:52am » |
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Thank you all for your posts. I loved reading them.
I have thought many occasions about losing mum. I have lost dad, so I do know a bit about that sadness. I also know that we all have a purpose in life and how many days and years we have depend on that. Still I hope that she'll be around for decades to come.
Nani, Eetu and Kasper didn't bring me flowers, but I bet they would have brought daffodils and tulips if they had had the chance! That thought is so lovely! But they did have so cute looks on their tiny faces and they made my day bright in many, many ways.
Sanna
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| « Last Edit: May 16th, 2007, 2:55am by sandie99 » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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