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Topic: WAY too funny... no offence intended... (Read 403 times) |
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Redd
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WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« on: Apr 26th, 2007, 7:58pm » |
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My buddy Jack, the retired Sherriff's deputy from home here, sent this to me and in this predominantly Catholic area I found it utterly hilarious.
The NEW Catholic Mass
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Jonny
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #1 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 8:05pm » |
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That will get my ass to church.....as long as its free 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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BB
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #2 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 8:20pm » |
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Jonny, before you can receive communion, you need to confess all your sins first .... That can take a while .. 
 
Annette
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Redd
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #3 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 8:21pm » |
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Just be a good boy Jonny and only take the sip and nibble. There are surely a few others who need to attone for their sins too.... 
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Jonny
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #4 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 8:28pm » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 8:21pm, Redd wrote:| Just be a good boy Jonny and only take the sip and nibble. There are surely a few others who need to attone for their sins too.... |
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Hey, Redd and BB are ganging up on me.....all I need is one of those big beers and that huge ass pretzle and im good to go
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Redd
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #5 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 8:32pm » |
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BUT you luv us...
now be a good Catholic and go confess...maybe the'll give you a two for one special.
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Rosybabe
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #6 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 8:46pm » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 8:20pm, BB wrote:
Jonny, before you can receive communion, you need to confess all your sins first .... That can take a while ..
Annette |
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 Oh no Dear God, poor Father, He will have a heart attack before Jonny gets the absolution..
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 Believing is just the beginning!
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Jonny
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #7 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 9:09pm » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 8:46pm, Rosybabe wrote:
Oh no Dear God, poor Father, He will have a heart attack before Jonny gets the absolution.. |
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Do I know you?....or are you just making assumtions?
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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JeffB
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #8 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 9:31pm » |
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, Very nice ladies!
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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Rosybabe
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #9 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 9:54pm » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 9:09pm, Jonny wrote:
Do I know you?....or are you just making assumtions?
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assumptions....Am I wrong?
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Believing is just the beginning!
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Jonny
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #10 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 10:09pm » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 9:54pm, Rosybabe wrote:
assumptions....Am I wrong?
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You dont know...you dont know me, do you?
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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BB
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #11 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 10:15pm » |
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We may be all wrong Rosy, God may just wave Jonny past : " Give the bl**dy devil whatever he asks for, just keep his mouth occupied for me " ...
Annette
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Kevin_M
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #12 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 10:17pm » |
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Beer, pretzels. If the priest rode in on a Harley, it'd be a religion from Milwaukee.
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JeffB
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #13 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 10:30pm » |
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Where's the young boys???
Kidding. How many Hail Mary's do I need for that one??
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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alienspacebabe
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #14 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 10:55pm » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 10:17pm, Kevin_M wrote:| Beer, pretzels. If the priest rode in on a Harley, it'd be a religion from Milwaukee. |
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Lots of good stuff comes from Milwaukee..... 
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BB
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #15 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 10:57pm » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 10:17pm, Kevin_M wrote:| Beer, pretzels. If the priest rode in on a Harley, it'd be a religion from Milwaukee. |
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Milwaukee Harley riders eat pretzels ? Bah, they are a bunch of softies then ....
Real Harley riders eat gun powder
Annette
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Charlie
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #16 on: Apr 27th, 2007, 1:14am » |
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It ain't no Baptist....
One thing Catholics know how to do is have fun.
Charlie
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ClusterChuck
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #17 on: Apr 27th, 2007, 3:38am » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 9:09pm, Jonny wrote:| Do I know you?....or are you just making assumtions? |
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I know ya, ya ba$tard!!! And she is being VERY generous!
Chuck
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LeLimey
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #18 on: Apr 27th, 2007, 4:04am » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 10:15pm, BB wrote:
....God may just wave Jonny past .... |
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Now you see I DO know Jonny and I know that is EXACTLY what is going to happen!
Jonny and a Catholic priest will arrive at the pearly gates at the same time and St Peter is going to grab him by the hand and say "Come on Jonny, the Boss is waiting for you with some beers my son!"
This is gonna piss the priest off somewhat as he has to wait so he whines to St Peter "When I was on Earth I said mass every day, I heard confessions, I gave sacraments to the sick and dying - and HE gets to go in first?!"
St Peters' gonna say "Well its like this. Jonny used to walk into conventions in nice hotels and shout "FUCKENEH" and ROCK AND ROLL" - in your average week Jonny put the fear of God in more people than you did in your entire lifetime !"
Love ya really Jonny 
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #19 on: Apr 27th, 2007, 5:13am » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 10:30pm, JeffB wrote:Where's the young boys???
Kidding. How many Hail Mary's do I need for that one?? |
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A month of Sundays !!!
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: WAY too funny... no offence intended...
« Reply #20 on: Apr 27th, 2007, 5:21am » |
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Although.........Mustard on a pretzle is Heaven sent !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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