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Topic: Poor Old Mildred (Read 237 times) |
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chewy
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Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl, so she decided to just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she
took out Earl's old army pistol and made the decision to
shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a
vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her
doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location.
Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is
just below your left breast Why do you ask?"
Mildred hung-up without answering. Later that night
Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot
wound to her knee.
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JeffB
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Wide open till you see God, then brake
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Re: Poor Old Mildred
« Reply #2 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 9:42pm » |
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I bet I could rub her feet and boobs at the same time. 
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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DonnaHar
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Wow, Mildred! If it were me, the wound would be in the center of my left rib cage.
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nani
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Got kudzu?
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Re: Poor Old Mildred
« Reply #4 on: Apr 26th, 2007, 11:47pm » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 9:49pm, DonnaHar wrote:| Wow, Mildred! If it were me, the wound would be in the center of my left rib cage. |
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About 3" left of my navel here. 
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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ClusterChuck
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The BEAST rises again, and again, and again, and .
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Re: Poor Old Mildred
« Reply #5 on: Apr 27th, 2007, 3:41am » |
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on Apr 26th, 2007, 5:33pm, chewy wrote:
Mildred is actually Chewy's newest blow up doll .. He kept trying to get more air in her, to raise her bewbies up above her naval .. It never happened ...
Chuck
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"No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy."
Thomas Fuller
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Mosaicwench
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Find joy in your day
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Re: Poor Old Mildred
« Reply #6 on: Apr 27th, 2007, 8:03am » |
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Just tuck them in your waistband and keep moving!
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The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. ~Author Unknown
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Maffumatt
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tie them in a bow...more feminine that way......
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