Author |
Topic: marriage (Read 184 times) |
|
minnie
New Board Hall of Famer
my greatest joys are my daughters April & Beth
 
Gender: 
Posts: 1059
|
MARRIAGE
Marriage - (Part I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .....whether you're here or not."
(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************
Marriage (Part II) Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever " "Yeah?" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
************************************
Marriage (Part III) Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After some time, he realizes he was nasty and deci des to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
******************************************
Marriage (Part IV) A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man deci des that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six”? His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
**************************************
Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am". He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
ya know we Love ya guys 
Minnie
|
|
 IP Logged |
Friends are Angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly
______________
You may only be one person to the world
but you may also be the world to one person.
|
|
|
aprilbee
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Ain't I a stinkah!!
Gender:
Posts: 1442
|
 |
Re: marriage
« Reply #1 on: Apr 12th, 2007, 10:33am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
tee hee.... 
Thanks for the laugh!
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
thomas
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
"Hit like a phillips head into my brain."
Gender: 
Posts: 3281
|
|
Re: marriage
« Reply #2 on: Apr 12th, 2007, 10:45am » |
Quote Modify
|
I didn't know marriage could be THAT wonderful. 
|
|
IP Logged |
Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God, the numbers look the same on their credit cards. Triptans cause rebounds. Learn it, believe it, live it. I use triptans as the absolute LAST RESORT when treating my CH.
|
|
|
sldrswyfe
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Member of O.U.C.H.
Gender:
Posts: 1015
|
|
Re: marriage
« Reply #3 on: Apr 12th, 2007, 5:49pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Minnie...they were great and I love it...
|
|
IP Logged |
"Great spirits have always found violent
opposition from the mediocrities." -Einstein
"I'll DIE on MY FEET, before I LIVE on MY KNEES"...thanks Jonny...that meant alot
"Oh, say does that star spangled banner yet wave?"....Your damn right it does.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss