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Topic: Lost loved ones, god, church, heaven..kids (Read 225 times) |
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Tara Ann
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It's always darkest before the dawn.
 
 
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Lost loved ones, god, church, heaven..kids
« on: Apr 7th, 2007, 3:49pm » |
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My kids were asking me some very/extremely difficult questions this morning. The "anniversary" of my mothers death is Friday, plus easter is very hard too.
Sammie asked the hardest questions, up till now I have tried to be vague, for example your Angel Grammy is in heaven.
He asked....
why is she in heaven
why is she dead
why can't we see her
why can't she talk to us
I told him she got into a car accident and then he asked what happened, how come the doctors couldn't fix her, tell her to come back so the can doctors fix her so she can walk with us.
I told her she is in heaven and it is a wonderful place and she can see us and hear us and check on us.
I don't have a huge faith in what I told him, but that is what I hope.
I told him I dont know why she can't talk to us and I don't know why we can't see her but those are the rules but alteast she can see us and that's pretty wonderful.
Where is heaven mom? I told him it's very far away, up above the clouds. He asked how she got there, did god come down and fly her up there? I said I really don't know honey and if you want to learn more about god then church is where they teach you about god. I asked him if he wants to learn more about god we can go to church. He said yes he wants to. So we will
I had to walk away after this long conversation and get a grip. Cause the questions kept coming and I don't have the answers. I then walked back in the room and he said in a choked up voice I miss my angel grammy and I want to see her. I hugged him and for the first time since he was little he hugged me tight for a very very long time.
My mother passed away a month after Sammie's first birthday. I was pregnant with Antoinette. He had his first Easter and bday with her there. I asked him if he remembers his angel grammy and he said no. That sucks, I was hoping all these years that atleast he would remember her vaguely.
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Jonny
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Re: Lost loved ones, god, church, heaven..kids
« Reply #1 on: Apr 7th, 2007, 3:56pm » |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Cathi04
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Re: Lost loved ones, god, church, heaven..kids
« Reply #2 on: Apr 7th, 2007, 4:29pm » |
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Tara, My son was 4 the Christmas my father was dying. Todd showed all his gifts to Grampa, then asked him if he wanted to go outside and play with him and his new toys. Grampa told him he would love to, but he was going to have to stay indoors till he got well.
Grampa died in Jan. Todd remembered Grampa was too sick to play outside-that was his last memory of him. Being only 4, it took awhile for Todd to "get it',but, one day, out of the blue, Todd asked me if he would ever see Grampa again, as he was waiting for him to be well. We had that hard talk, and Todd cried. I told him Grampa was always with us now, all he had to do was close his eyes.
I'm not into organized religion, but I consider myself spiritual. We are souls-and the bodies we have are merely on loan to us.
Anyway, just some thoughts........
I wish I could find a way to make this season easier for you, Tara.
Cathi
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BarbaraD
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Re: Lost loved ones, god, church, heaven..kids
« Reply #3 on: Apr 7th, 2007, 5:43pm » |
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It's tough explaining to a child that a loved one is gone and isn't coming back. Caleb misses his Papaw and we talk about him a lot. We have a "Papaw star" that comes out and blinks at us at night. Caleb tells that star his problems and fusses at it just like he used to talk to Papaw. I tell him stories about when Papaw was little and he wants more. (His parents try to ignore questions from him).
I just tell him Papaw isn't sick in heaven and he's watching over us - we just can't see him anymore. This way he can still be with us and not have to hurt or be sick. He seems content for a while with that. But then he'll come up with more questions. I just take them as they come.
Papaw has been gone for a year and a half now and talking about him is getting easier now. But you've just got to take it one day at a time.
Hugs BD
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minnie
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my greatest joys are my daughters April & Beth
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Re: Lost loved ones, god, church, heaven..kids
« Reply #4 on: Apr 9th, 2007, 8:09pm » |
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Tara,
I haven't read this book But I know the authors work and she's great.if ya get a chance to borrow it from the library let me know how it is.I will also try to get it to give you an idea.The school counsiler has the kids write a note to someone they love and lost.Tie it to a helium balloon and send it up to heaven for their lost one to read.just an idea .The best way for them to get to know your mom is through your stories.It may be painfull at first but all the good memories will be good for both you and your kids.
minnie
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d182/minnie7053/whatisheavenlikebook.j pg
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Description: What Is Heaven Like?
A young boy and his sister, missing their recently departed grandfather, ponder heaven. In a quest for understanding, the boy sets off to ask everyone he encounters all about it--his teachers, the ice cream truck driver, the dentist, his family--and each person offers a different yet insightful response.
For any child who is coming to terms with the loss of a loved one, or even those young ones who are simply curious, What Is Heaven Like? poignantly addresses the questions kids ask most often. The final page offers suggestions for parents and Christian educators.
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