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artonio7
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I survived.....
« on: Apr 4th, 2007, 11:38am » |
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Those who know me...already know I'm agoraphobic ... so going anywhere is always an issue... well yesterday was my Ben's father's 84 birthday... So... Ben and I got in the car and headed off for the two hour trip to dads house to celebrate... before we got there we wanted to pick up a few things at the market... I hate going into these places...while there... the tiny shadow ramped up to a kip 9.... and at the onset I was going crazy looking for Red-Bull... they didn't have any. So... I stumbled back to the car where I writhed and moaned.... and Ben (against my wishes) took me to his fathers home while getting hit. It was 84 degrees here yesterday Ben left me in the car and rolled up the windows. I didn't mind staying in the car in fact I preferred it but I had to scream to have him roll the windows down.
I wonder about him sometimes.
I was mortified, embarrassed, humiliated, PISSED OFF, exhausted .... in agony ... and all of the usual things one feels while getting a hit in public.
I know... you might say "Well, these people know you." Yes they do... but what a way to spoil an old mans birthday... watching someone getting hit in a car parked in his driveway... they offered me aspirin...
When the hit was over... and I joined the group they looked at me as though I had 2 horribly disfigured heads attached to my shoulders rather than just the one they're used to seeing.
........I felt compelled to apologize and they felt compelled to accept.
Well to cap off this long and horrible whine... I just want to say that I survived.....
..........I don't know if Ben's actions will soon be forgotten though.
with warm regards,
Tony
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Linda_Howell
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #1 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 11:57am » |
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Really. What WAS he thinking? 
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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E-Double
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #2 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 12:05pm » |
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Screw the hit and whatever embarassment you may have felt.
You went out!!!!!!!!!
Kick ass!!!!!!!!!!
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Lobster
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #3 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 12:52pm » |
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Man... that sucks hard. I would be furious.
Just wondering... you do not do trex?
When in cycle, I tend to have a few shots of trex with me wherever I go.
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ClusterChuck
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #4 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 12:58pm » |
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Oh PULEEZE, Louise!!!
After all, it is JUST a headache!!
Chuck
(Congrats for going out, and surviving) 
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Yorky
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #5 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 12:58pm » |
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surely ben should have got you to a better surrounding?
might as well stuck you in a cage at a zoo.
(with a sign saying, please do not feed the clusty)
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today is a gift.....thats why it is called the
present.
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artonio7
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #6 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 1:09pm » |
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on Apr 4th, 2007, 12:58pm, ClusterChuck wrote:Oh PULEEZE, Louise!!!
After all, it is JUST a headache!!
Chuck
(Congrats for going out, and surviving) |
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Yep... you're right it is JUST a headache that feels a little like this 
with warm regards,
Tony
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Kevin_M
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #7 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 1:12pm » |
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Offering of wrapped ice from the refrigerator freezer is leastways a first thought for someone when caught unprepared, and the use of the car's air conditioning running as needed is helpfully a gesture.
The situation didn't help for the memories of the going out adventure. Do it prepared another time, I've learned that too.
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Mosaicwench
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #8 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 2:46pm » |
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Oh dear . . . .even a dog deserves the windows rolled down in a hot car . . . . I'm so sorry Tony.
Being a supporter rather than a sufferer, I would have gotten you to a far less public place, hopefully as cool as I could find or make it, and scored Red Bull or whatever you needed by hook or by crook.
It's not like you are having CH for kicks . . . .
(sigh)
Again, I'm so sorry this happened.
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Tara Ann
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #9 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 3:04pm » |
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on Apr 4th, 2007, 12:05pm, E-Double wrote:Screw the hit and whatever embarassment you may have felt.
You went out!!!!!!!!!
Kick ass!!!!!!!!!! |
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My thoughts exactly! Wonderful strength Tony!
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Langa
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #10 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 3:47pm » |
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Been there too Tony, unfortunately. Glad you got through it. Ben must've been pretty nervous. It must be hard knowing what to do for your loved one all the time and get it right each time, especially during a kip9 - that's lunacy time - for all involved imo. 
I carry the trex with me always and the AC blasting while in the car helps too.
Hugs,
Langa
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BarbaraD
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #11 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 5:21pm » |
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tony,
I've learned to carry a can of RB with me in the truck. Even if I don't have it iced down - it usually works pretty good. And A/C (don't care who's driving) on is a MUST. Nobody argues about that unless they want to die!
If you're going to be out for a while - put a bottle of O2 in the backseat next time.
sorry this had to happen to you.
But NEVER be ashamed - we didn't ask for this disease and we can't HELP what happens to us. You wouldn't apologize for cancer would you? Think about it -
Hugs BD
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ClusterChuck
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #12 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 5:44pm » |
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on Apr 4th, 2007, 5:21pm, BarbaraD wrote:| If you're going to be out for a while - put a bottle of O2 in the backseat next time. |
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The peckerhead has NOT gone out to get set up with oxygen, yet!!!
Smack him around a bit Mom ... Make him do it!!! He doesn't listen to ME!!!
Chuck
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Rosybabe
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #13 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 6:45pm » |
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hey Tony, Ben's folks couldn't let you crash in their bedroom or bathroom while your hit went away??? why you had to stay in the car??? Ben could tell them you were not feeling good, My GOD!!!! if they got a party some ice would be helpful too, Ben could get you some coffee or stop somewhere and get you your Red Bull...
man I am so mad at him!!!! 
next time please be prepared because if you do not do it for yourself nobody will (that is obvious, you already saw it)..
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midwestbeth
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #14 on: Apr 4th, 2007, 7:44pm » |
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So glad you got out! Yeaaa!!! So sorry you got hit hard by the beast  . I've also been there, done that sitting in the driveway at a friends house waiting for the beast to leave.............
It's easy to say don't be embarrased, so hard not to be. I can't hide fast enough when I get hit hard. I also look like I've been hit by a truck afterword.
Did you not have any abort with you??? No O2 yet??? Why not Tony???
Beth
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TonyG1
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on Apr 4th, 2007, 12:05pm, E-Double wrote:Screw the hit and whatever embarassment you may have felt.
You went out!!!!!!!!!
Kick ass!!!!!!!!!! |
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What Erik said !! I always carry the abortive with me wherever I may roam !
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Cathi04
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #16 on: Apr 6th, 2007, 12:43am » |
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Tony,
Can you please pass a msg to Ben for me?>>
Dear Ben,
As you are Tony's partner, you are his supporter. There are some basic facts you need to know. Please help Tony deal with his clusters! How, you ask??
*Take time to ask him HOW he would like you to help when you are out in public....do this while you are home and comfortable.
*Encourage him to get out and set up his 02...it's gonna do wonders.
*This is a different situation ,but it all ties in...discuss the phobia, and how best to handle a hit if it comes when you are in public.remember this is his worst nightmare....
*This is important.... don't leave anyone in the 84 degree weather with the windows rolled up in the car....unless the air is on full blast!
*Drop in to CH .com, where you will find plenty of ideas for supporting your partner with CH.
* Continue to care for, and take care of each other.
My best to you both!
Cathi
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Batch
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #17 on: Apr 6th, 2007, 12:58am » |
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Tony.... Where the heck was your O2????? you should have a roadie cylinder with you on a trip like that.
V/R, Batch
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George_J
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #18 on: Apr 6th, 2007, 1:24am » |
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The hot car thing....
Once (when I was a teenager) I deliberately sat out in a hot car during a hit. Thought it might help--what the heck--nothing else they were giving me helped (Caffergot, Periactin, and narcotics) and nobody had any decent suggestions for dealing with a hit back then. I might as well have been the only clusterhead in the world. I made it up as I went along, and straggled through as best I could.
Needless to say, it didn't help. I never did it again. 
Have I told you how much I appreciate this place?
Best,
George
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artonio7
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #19 on: Apr 7th, 2007, 1:27am » |
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Thank you all for your responses. The lesson I've learned is to be a good Boy Scout... and "Always be prepared"
Does anyone sell a portable CH emergency kit?
- Can of o2
- Can of Red Bull
- Trex Jab
- Ice Pack
- Pre Recorded Explanation of what the Cluster Head is going through
- Lots of Kleenex
- Approach with Caution/Do Not Disturb Sign
- Dry Un-sweatie Clothing
- Dignity
- Sense of Humor
again thank you all for your encouragement.
with warm regards,
Tony
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ClusterChuck
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #20 on: Apr 7th, 2007, 1:42am » |
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on Apr 7th, 2007, 1:27am, artonio7 wrote:| Does anyone sell a portable CH emergency kit? |
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ABSOLUTELY!!
Just send me your credit card information, and bank account number, and for a minimal daily fee, and moderate shipping and handling fees, I will send you the information and equipment needed.
I am looking forward to a LONG and profitable relationship.
Sleezy Chuck
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #21 on: Apr 7th, 2007, 6:17am » |
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Hey Tony--It's great that you went out---it couldn't get any worse than that, so now you can go out all the time.
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Mosaicwench
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #22 on: Apr 7th, 2007, 7:04am » |
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on Apr 7th, 2007, 6:17am, zwibbs/Scott wrote:| . . . it couldn't get any worse than that, so now you can go out all the time. |
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I never thought of it that way - excellent point.
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nani
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Re: I survived.....
« Reply #23 on: Apr 7th, 2007, 8:54am » |
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Congrats on getting out, hon. That's huge in itself.
Talk to Ben about how to help. We can't get mad if we haven't told them. If you have done so, then you can be mad and smack him once for me. 
Car AC helps me a lot. Full blast, right on my aching eye. Yes, carry a Red Bull, and maybe one of those first aid ice packs (that get cold when you break them), and O2 when you get it. Then, get your butt out there again. Baby steps...
hugs and love, nani
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Sean_C
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My counsins agoraphobic too Tony, its a wierd disorder, almost seems like severe paranoia to me. If she has to have someone drive her somewhere she has to put a beach towel over her head while she's riding in the car, or else she flips out sort of speak. What age did you discover you had this disorder Tony?
Sorry about the hit btw bud, Ben should of had more consideration for you in my opinion.
Cheers
Sean.....................
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