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Topic: help help help! wtf is going on???? (Read 421 times) |
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PollyPocket
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help help help! wtf is going on????
« on: Mar 25th, 2007, 8:16pm » |
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seriously.
out of cycle. never a prob with triggers. eat some choc out of cycle. one bite ONE FREAKIN BITE YESTERDAY. and there was that corkscrew in my head. why???? why???? I don't understnad. I am fall episodic, only have had 2 spring cycles when I wsas eating massive amts of chocl. dont uinderstand. hubby is PISSD nad blamingme for it. he doesnt' get it at all. now I am reelihng from ouching I just want to sleep. I want ,y eye to feel normal it does.nt. shit. I cnat type.
wtf is wrong here/?????????
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened.  " - Tori
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JeffB
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #1 on: Mar 25th, 2007, 8:19pm » |
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I wish I knew Jennifer. Some times I could set a clock to these things, other time I couldn't.
Hope it's just a fluke!
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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jimmers
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #2 on: Mar 25th, 2007, 8:21pm » |
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I'm prayin for ya! Hopefully like jeff said, maybe it will be a fluke.
Jimmers
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PollyPocket
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #3 on: Mar 25th, 2007, 8:27pm » |
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I don't want a fluke. ( hubby is stressing. I want him to come to the convention. I just dont' understandthhis shit. not one bit. beasty has no rightito my head now! I have 7 months to go and this shit aint right! I burshed the dog, I ate one f'/in bite of a cookie. I ujst dont undrestand thi9s shit. fuck this.
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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Rosybabe
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #4 on: Mar 25th, 2007, 10:33pm » |
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so sorry Jen!!
I bet it is only a fluke out of the ordinary...
Hang in there!
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pieface_49
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #5 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 12:11am » |
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My coffee table is filled with chocolate. I just got done eating handfulls out of a 3lb bag of M&M's. I only realized after eating them that they might not be good for me. The realization came from reading this thread today. I treat myself to chocolate on a daily basis. Normally before bedtime, which is when the worse "hits" occur. I have been pretty much PF today, only 2-3Kip's. 2-3Kip's for me equates to a PF or good day. I have never equated CH's to chocolate. Does this phenomenon occur in all CH's? Perhaps I will find out the hard way 
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ClusterChuck
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #6 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 5:33am » |
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Hun, slow down ... Take a breath ... exhale ... inhale ... exhale ... inhale ... exhale ... keep repeating ...
This will pass!
If you are not in cycle, I don't see how one bite can cause this. It would have happened with or without the cookie, I am sure. Most likely it IS just a fluke.
Chuck
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Cathi04
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #7 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 7:21am » |
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Oh, Lordie! Imagine me, echoing the Hippie Freak's words........
Jennifer, sometimes the beast is a renegade. He strays freom the usual pattern just to rattle your cage. I SO highly doubt that one bite of that cookie could have caused a hit. It is much more likely that it was just a sneaker hit, intended to derail you!
YES, your hubby SHOULD be at Convention!
NO! The beast cannot have that kinda vice-grip on your life!
I hope you are doing better, Jenn. Please let us know.
PF!
Cathi
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ClusterChuck
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #8 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 7:26am » |
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on Mar 26th, 2007, 7:21am, Cathi04 wrote:| Oh, Lordie! Imagine me, echoing the Hippie Freak's words........ |
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GAWD!!! Someone b1tch slap that left coaster!!!!
SHEESH!!!
Wimminz!!!
Chuck
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"No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy."
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PollyPocket
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #9 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 7:45am » |
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Thanks all. That's what I said to hubby - that the damn cookie COULDN'T have caused it; its NEVER EVER been a problem when out of cycle and it was just one freakin bite. He was furious with me, blaming me for the random hit because of the cookie bite and because I brushed the dog w/out wearing a mask.
I was frantic, and I apologize for the rant. Damn shadow wouldn't let go and hubby was reaming me for everything under the sun - including not putting on a coat IN THE HOUSE yesterday morning because I was cold. His other choice words were, and I quote:
"You and those people on there think you have a lock on what hurts. This hurts me here (pointing to his heart) and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. You don't know what I go thru and it pisses me off when you don't give a shit and eat shit you shouldn't- THEN YOUR HEAD HURTS AND ITS YOUR FAULT."
Lovely, huh? I was so tired from the corkscrew in my head and the ache after it, and had that to deal with. I sure hope this is/was just a fluke.
Pieface, hi. Everyone has different triggers, mine happens to be choc, but only when I am in cycle. For 22 years, I've been able to eat it while out of cycle and never had a problem, and this was only one bite. Sorry ya met me on such a crappy night.
hugs to all,
Jen
ps. Tony- 
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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burnt-toast
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: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #10 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 7:49am » |
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My hits are year round with peaks and valleys in frequency/severity of attacks. I've had only a few very short breaks over the last 12 years and have experienced this nightmare shifting peak attack months all around the calendar for no apparent reason(s).
From my own experinece and from everything that I have referenced there isn't anything sufferers can do to alter the CH cyles - we can only hope to marginally manage symptoms during cycles.
Ask the hubby for some understanding, it's not your fault. It's just and odd cycle that you need to try to manage as best you can.
Best Wishes,
Tom
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Tara Ann
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #11 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 8:33am » |
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Do your best to remain calm. And the best supporter can sometimes get mad. My hubby is a wonderful supporter but sometimes he gets mad at me like I caused it. It's just that he gets frustrated and I get overly sensitive and that isn't a good mix
Hang in there hun, big hugs that it really was a fluke incident.
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minnie
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #12 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 9:07am » |
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Jen hon I'm sorry the beast is toying with you it isn't fair . someday he will be beaten down to never be seen again.I am gonna re-post a very insightful post from one of our A+ supporters.Jackie has a beautiful heart and found the words we all feel as supporters.What your husband is doing isn't right but I believe it's the frustration talking.When someone you Love is hurting it hurts you.Heck even when it's someone you used to Love it still hurts.I cringe when I know Billy's getting hit
and we've been seperated a year and a half.OK so print out Jackies post and yes convention will be good for him
if you don't follow the board then getting to meet them face to face will let him know how amazing and caring our CH family is and meeting other supporters is great.we are not alone any of us sufferes or supporters.
Minnie
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Thank you Jackie.......................
Jackie
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Another kind of pain....
« on: Sep 17th, 2003, 3:02pm »
------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------
I'd like to start by telling you all what this post IS NOT. This is not a post or story that is meant to be self-serving. It's not a post about who suffers more or who's pain is the more hurtful. It's not a "complain" post or a "whine" post. It's a post about what if feels like to be me.....the wife of a chronic clusterhead who I love with all my heart. It's a post about what it feels like to be me when I read so many of the sufferers posts because I have seen with my own eyes the pain they are talking about.
Clusters hurt supporters hearts.......
I've watched Blake reeling in pain for endless hours. I've heard him beg God to kill him. When God doesn't he's begged me. That's heart pain.
I've seen Blake (some mornings) looking like he just walked out of a concentration camp.....eyes sunken in, no color, no facial expression. I ask him if he'd like a cup of coffee and say 'you better hurry up, honey, or you'll be late for work'. What I'm thinking is how can this man make it another day...how can he go to work. But...I know I have to make him try. I know I can't let him give up. That's heart pain.
At different times I've asked the doctors to change Blake's drugs. I've done this more than once and it's usually when he's in "high cycle". My theory is we have to keep trying...we have to keep looking. One time when we changed drugs it made it much worse. Right in the middle of a Kip10 he's begging me to please never try another drug...please never ask him to do this again. That's heart pain.
I've intentionally made Blake mad when I feel he's about to give up. I've pissed him off just to get his blood flowing and get the heart rate up. It works but it just about does me in when all I really want to do is hold him and cry. That's heart pain.
Clusters hurt supporters egos......
I'm a bit of a contol freak. I like to take charge and fix things up. I like to make things better for friends, family and loved ones. But you know what.....there's not a damn thing I can do to stop the pain when the demon hits. I can't threaten him, scare him away, bust his balls or buy him off. I have to accept that I can't make it all OK for Blake until the demon lets me. I have to stand by in a helpless state. That's ego pain.
There's one more pain and it's called guilt.......Blake and I are husband and wife. We are soul mates. We are best friends. We are supposed to share everything....the good things and the bad....the tears and the laughter....the pain and the "feel good" times.
I have begged God to put the demon on me....to give Blake a break....to leave him alone for just one week. But.....it never happens. Blake has to endure all the hits and that's not right. That's guilt pain.
Well.....that's about it I've run my mouth again as usual.
Love to you all....suffers and supports alike
Jackie
LOL...one more thing. My theory is never let 'em see ya cry, never let 'em see ya sweat, never let them see any doubt on your face.....hang tough and they'll hang tough with ya......fight the demon with them and they won't give up......tell them that tomorrow will be better and they'll try it another day.
Damn....I'm a long winded broad...
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seasonalboomer
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #13 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 9:32am » |
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Hopefully it was just a stray hit....... I've had those every once in awhile. They send you through the whole rush of damns and fuks and then you pick yourself up, brush yourself off (or the dog in your case) and start all over again.
Cookies should be our friends
scott
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Charlie
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #14 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 7:56pm » |
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Rats. I hate to read this 
You're not alone though. I was a spring and fall episodic with no known triggers. Then one summer, I spent 12 days battling the beast in August. It happened only once though and 12 days was far from normal.
Hang on kid.
Charlie
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nani
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #15 on: Mar 26th, 2007, 8:40pm » |
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It's not all that unusual to get an odd breakthrough now and then. Cookies are our friends.
hugs to you both, nani
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Langa
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #16 on: Mar 27th, 2007, 8:53am » |
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Jen, sorry about the fluke. Been getting random hits myself - 3 real bad ones in the last 6 months; the last one 4 days ago. I've panicked too each time thinking i'm going back into cycle - have been out of cycle for over 18 months now. I guess the beast needs to remind us of it's miserable existence every so often.
By the way, chocolate is a major trigger for me, and just ONE bite is enough, in or out of cycle, never fails. I avoid it like the plague. Thankfully, I never did care much for it.
Langa
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ClusterChuck
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #17 on: Mar 27th, 2007, 9:16am » |
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Langa, it is a good thing donuts aren't a trigger ...
LOL
Chuck
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Langa
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Re: help help help! wtf is going on????
« Reply #18 on: Mar 27th, 2007, 4:12pm » |
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on Mar 27th, 2007, 9:16am, ClusterChuck wrote:Langa, it is a good thing donuts aren't a trigger ...
LOL
Chuck |
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You ain't kidding either! LOL. 
Langa
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