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Topic: Marine Studies (Read 1412 times) |
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tanner
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Marine Studies
« on: Jan 16th, 2007, 5:26pm » |
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This is not an attempt to stir anyone up or put anyone down I just thought it to be an interesting story that didn't belong in the "Funnies" section.
Marine Studies
A United States Marine was attending
some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his Chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence.
The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an a--hole. So, He sent me."
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echo
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #1 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 5:29pm » |
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I like it. Great story.
(father of two US Marines)
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Jonny
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #2 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 5:30pm » |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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JeffB
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #3 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 6:54pm » |
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Very nice. Too many left wing professors! 
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #4 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 7:22pm » |
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Marines are great people. 
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JeffB
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #5 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 7:33pm » |
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This one almost got my ass kicked in Manilla!
JeffB: Hey dude, you know what the mascot for the Army is?
Marine: Uh, no....what?
JeffB: A Jackass!
JeffB: Do you know what the mascot of the Navy is?
Marine: Uh, no.....what?
JeffB: Same as the Army, but we call 'em Marines!
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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JeffB
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #6 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 7:34pm » |
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on Jan 16th, 2007, 7:22pm, zwibbs/Scott wrote:| Marines are great people. |
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Ditto Zwibby! 
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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floridian
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So is your hypothetical Marine the Christian equivalent of Hezbollah - the party of God? God is on our side, God said I could do something that is ordinarily not tolerated?
They say there are no atheists in foxholes - yet soldiers on all all sides seem to get killed regardless of how much they pray, what language they pray in, or what name they have for God. God's existence remains a matter of faith. Foolish governments that start foolish wars are a proven fact.
Trust in God, but send them better body armor.
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Jonny
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #8 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 9:32pm » |
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on Jan 16th, 2007, 9:14pm, floridian wrote:So is your hypothetical Marine the Christian equivalent of Hezbollah - the party of God? God is on our side, God said I could do something that is ordinarily not tolerated?
They say there are no atheists in foxholes - yet soldiers on all all sides seem to get killed regardless of how much they pray, what language they pray in, or what name they have for God. God's existence remains a matter of faith. Foolish governments that start foolish wars are a proven fact.
Trust in God, but send them better body armor. |
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Oh STFU, Flo!!
First you debate a joke I post with facts....now you bust on some story that is probably bull shit.
Why dont you move to another country if you dont like it here? obvisouly you hate this country!
Christ, when you have to debate jokes you have nothing better to do than put us down.
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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floridian
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on Jan 16th, 2007, 5:26pm, tanner wrote:
This is not an attempt to stir anyone up or put anyone down I just thought it to be an interesting story that didn't belong in the "Funnies" section.
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Obviously, not intending to stir up any shit. And it was posted on the "Worldwide Cluster Headache Support Group" in the general section because everyone here is a right wing Christian citizen of the US, or should have to experience the joys of that if they want to be part of the group. (And there are no sections on this board labeled 'blasphemy' or 'political propaganda.')
Sorry, Jonny boy, if other people are going to post this crap, they should expect a variety of responses. Free speech and all that. Which we wouldn't have if Saddam wasnt executed.
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andrewjb
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #10 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 10:03pm » |
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rave on floridan, you pedantic git. i love it, andrew. edited to add. marines are good drinking friends !
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| « Last Edit: Jan 16th, 2007, 10:05pm by andrewjb » |
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Charlie
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #11 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 11:31pm » |
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I always thought that if I were going to deal with Christianity, I'd consider being Catholic. They make it a point of saying that God doesn't punish.
I like their consistency too, no matter my convictions.
Charlie
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tanner
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #12 on: Jan 16th, 2007, 11:58pm » |
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on Jan 16th, 2007, 9:14pm, floridian wrote:So is your hypothetical Marine the Christian equivalent of Hezbollah - the party of God? God is on our side, God said I could do something that is ordinarily not tolerated?
They say there are no atheists in foxholes - yet soldiers on all all sides seem to get killed regardless of how much they pray, what language they pray in, or what name they have for God. God's existence remains a matter of faith. Foolish governments that start foolish wars are a proven fact.
Trust in God, but send them better body armor. |
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Jonathan, I am not sure what button I pushed to upset you, but I can assure you that it was not intended! I was not being disingenuous when I wrote the disclaimer preceding the obvious paste of something sent to me. I don't see where I was making any kind of a statement about the wars that we are involved in nor do I see where I made any reference to how I might feel about how we are engaged in them.
You know as much about my personal religious belief as you have chosen to ask about ....which is zero. Please feel free to do so as I am not shy to say what I believe. If I picked the wrong forum to place this type of post then please excuse my ignorance, you must know something I don't 
Should you feel to be so forthcoming I would be happy to discuss what people in foxholes or helicopters in my case might be thinking and just what gets them through the day!
I can assure you that posts like the one you responded with are not it.
Peace and the sooner the better.....Tim
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it's just my head that sucks...http://www.centerforlit.com/
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #13 on: Jan 17th, 2007, 5:20am » |
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Tim, There was absolutely nothing wrong with your post. Everyone is free to feel or believe what they want. It's the number one reason why America is a GREAT country. It is also the reason why other Countries hate us. They believe that you MUST believe what they tell you to believe in--or else they kill you. The story about the Marine was probably fabricated, but there are profs who have strange beliefs , and do make statements in class to stir contoversy and debate. To each his own. When I was involved in wartime--I prayed every minute of everyday because you're there to protect the freedom that AMERICANS can be free to believe !!! For anyone to be critical of that is just plain ridiculous !
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floridian
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Tim - No, I don't know about your religious beliefs, only mine. For me, the idea that God is on our side generally borders on blasphemy, and routinely crosses into it. The use of magical thinking and conjuring up divine whisperings and blessings is tolerable when a co-worker explains that God told them to take next week off and drive to the city for a break, but dangerous when dealing with war.
Isn't your post is really about a desire to punch out liberal atheists and members of the ACLU? Doesn't it use God and the Marine Corps as shield to express that desire, on the assumption that most people are too sheepish to oppose it for fear of being branded a traitor?? It relies on freedom of speech, but dreams of a day when that freedom is suspended and violence is used to put the liberals in their place.
Jonny - you can label me 'patriotically incorrect' and suggest I leave this country. Sorry. I don't care about your labels - we obviously have a different definition of patriotism. Maybe since we just celebrated Martin Luther King day, we should discuss why that patriot said that America was 'the greatest purveyor of violence in the world' ??
Some people with patriotic feelings blind themselves to anything negative, while others recognize the problems and try to deal with them. No different from family - some kids refuse to recognize the flaws and faults of their parents, because they think that would go against the idea of loving their parents, or that their parents would stop loving them. And then they grow up, accept the fact that their parent is flawed, but still love them anyway.
For the record, I'm a patriotic believer in God who doesn't believe that atheists should be stripped of their legal rights. Unlike some of the mullahs:
Quote:
Sherman: Surely you recognize the equal citizenship and patriotism of Americans who are atheists?
[G.W.] Bush: No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God. |
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seasonalboomer
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #15 on: Jan 17th, 2007, 7:04am » |
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That's a great story Tim. Reminiscent of the "lost at sea" story, where the guy on the lifeboat keeps praying for God to save him. A variety of humans and would be rescuers all try to help him, to which he shoo's off each attempt, claiming God will help him. He dies and gets to heaven to ask God why he didn't save him, and God tells him, "I sent two different ships and a helicopter, what more do you want?"
Come on Flo, an ACLU card carrying, atheist, professor who flouts belief is a great foil for about any joke. If we reduce and disect all humor we'll only end up in a world where knock-knock jokes are high comedy. I know that someone from your side of aisle always trots out some tired Elie Wiesel about how "eventually they came for me", but not everything and everyone needs to be defended so vehemently. Humor is often the closest thing to love we have in this world.
Scott
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #16 on: Jan 17th, 2007, 7:29am » |
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Careful now....
God's watching all this and may be thinking about switching sides. 
Tom
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Jonny
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #17 on: Jan 17th, 2007, 5:37pm » |
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on Jan 16th, 2007, 9:14pm, floridian wrote:| So is your hypothetical Marine the Christian equivalent of Hezbollah |
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Where do you get off comparing an American Marine to the scum of Hezbollah?
Do you think a Marine would do this to a child, Flo?
*WARNING*....Graphic child abuse by Hezbollah!
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=acc088f402
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Jackie
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #18 on: Jan 17th, 2007, 5:57pm » |
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Great post, tanner....I love it!
Flo....you are displaying the characterists a chronic malcontent wart hog..... Maybe a change in diet would help...
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JeffB
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #19 on: Jan 17th, 2007, 6:04pm » |
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These people will never get out of the stone age.
If they do something like that with a truck just imagine what they would do with a nuke, in the name of Islam!
Friggin bastards!
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floridian
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on Jan 17th, 2007, 5:37pm, Jonny wrote:
Where do you get off comparing an American Marine to the scum of Hezbollah?
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Look, dickwad, I didn't invent the imaginary Marine that goes around assaulting people who refuse to tow the official religious line. The fact that I noted the obvious parallels between this great role model that you facists twits are promoting and other religious zealots doesn't mean I agree with what was said - in fact, I think its about as funny as Kerry's joke. And we know that humor is the closest thing to love that there is, right?
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Jonny
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #21 on: Jan 17th, 2007, 7:24pm » |
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on Jan 17th, 2007, 7:17pm, floridian wrote:| Look, dickwad, I didn't invent the imaginary Marine |
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Name calling, Flo?
Why on earth would you argue a story thats more than likely BS?
Probably for the same reason you argued a political joke I posted!
You just need to argue, have you sought mental help for this?.......you really need to.
Hope you find the help you need soon, Flo......we do care about you! 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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floridian
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Why on Earth would you criticize and analyze Kerry's joke? Maybe because a joke is just a joke, but jokes also have meaning like any other words?
Name calling? Sure, when appropriate. You go from being obnoxious to the offended saint pretty quick, and now your Dr. Phil trying to reach out to me. Going around pre-emptively posting "I hope Flo doesn't see this thread" as if you understood how I think? You don't give a shit about me or my mental health (which is fine, thanks) - you want this to be your right wing soap box no matter who it offends or turns off, and your only pissed that I disagree instead of crawling off like most others.
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Jonny
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #23 on: Jan 17th, 2007, 8:30pm » |
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on Jan 17th, 2007, 8:11pm, floridian wrote: Going around pre-emptively posting "I hope Flo doesn't see this thread" as if you understood how I think? You don't give a shit about me or my mental health (which is fine, thanks) -
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No, I dont give a fuck how mental you are , but I do know how you think!......your a left wing, country hating, ACLU, wannabe!
Watch this, Flo http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=b48d130cb4....these are Marines at the brink of death.
There are two reasons they are fighting so hard in this video clip.
1) So they can come home to their loved ones.
2) So you can argue political jokes on a message board and scream "Free speech"
Dig your head out of your ass!
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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karma
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Re: Marine Studies
« Reply #24 on: Jan 17th, 2007, 9:01pm » |
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Quote:1) So they can come home to their loved ones. yep
2) So you can argue political jokes on a message board and scream "Free speech"Nope |
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They fight because its there job and because of a monumental mistake that has been made and now can't be fixed without embarassing and endangering the U.S.
To fight, kill and be killed and to believe that "god is on my side"while I do it is just wrong but the humane race just won't learn.
Faith is beautiful, Violence in the name of faith is a gross abuse.
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