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Topic: I Gotta Bitch.... (Read 2057 times) |
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BarbaraD
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I Gotta Bitch....
« on: Jan 14th, 2007, 7:13am » |
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Over the past few months I've seen a lot of newbies come on this board. That's great that they found us and can now get some support and help.
BUT, I've seen a lot of "oldie" newbies coming back after years in "exile" and that bothers me. Several have posted that "I haven't been here in X years, but just got hit again and what's new?" Where the hell have they been for the X years.
I can understand not wanting to think about CH when you don't have it, but checking in ever once in a while to "give back" some support you received when you were in "bad shape" doesn't seem like too much of an effort.
There are people who come here every day that haven't been hit in several months or years, but they're here to give support to those who are being hit NOW. Those are the ones who need to be given the "gold stars". They're giving back some of what they got.
From what I understand, since DJ got Moya Moya, he hasn't been hit with CH. What if he decided to shut down the board cause he doesn't "need" support any more?
That's my rant for Sunday morning......
Hugs BD
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Brew
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #1 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 8:53am » |
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Barb,
The way I look at it, some people figure out that they need their family both in good times and in bad, while others look for comfort only when times are bad. I have realized that I need the folks in my "adopted" family here most all the time.
Those others use ch.com like running back to mommy and daddy when they run out of cash in their emotional bank account. I like to make hay when the sun shines and keep sticking it in the bank. That way I can share it with my brothers and sisters when they need to make a withdrawal or two. Lord knows I've had to borrow some from them in the past.
Kind of a stupid analogy, but I think you get the idea...
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HappyElaine
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #2 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 9:19am » |
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Bitch Bitch Bitch and on Sunday, shame on you Barbara 
We don't know who they help and who they don't help. I know several people who never post, but they email and help lots of people. When they were posting I bet they helped others at the time. Its not fair to say they don't !
Where does it say we have to post everyday, and when not in cycle? I read this board everyday. Someone gets hit or ask a questions. 20 people post they are sorry and give advice, why should 20 more people post and give the same advice? I look at post and someone has already said what I would have said. Why repeat it? Instead I send a email.
What goes on on this board is not all that goes on. So I don't see where any of us can judge.
If DJ never had another cluster and I hope he doesn't, would never close this board Down. DJ gave support when he had clusters and when he is pain free. The only time I ever knew DJ to close the board down was because of all the Bitching.
No one knows what others do for others, because we don't know everyone here, there is no way to know everyone on this board.
Just my 2 cents !
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chewy
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Quote:| That's my rant for Sunday morning |
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A good one to. Right on the money.
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pubgirl
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #4 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 9:59am » |
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I have to agree with Elaine AND Barbara.
If people take when in need and never give anything back, that stinks
BUT
Just because people don't post here doesn't mean they aren't helping people or trying to "give back" something elsewhere.
Sometimes people just need a break as this board can feel really overwhelming, and it can take guts to post publicly if you have been attacked previously or see others attacked.
There are VERY bright and highly articulate people here with tongues that can be very sharp. Maybe some people need to stay "in the trenches" for a while sometimes, or even permanently but they could still be fighting.
A personal view of course.
W the B
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2007, 10:01am by pubgirl » |
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karma
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #5 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 10:27am » |
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Its all a cycle.
Newbies find it and are gung ho to be involved, learn, and help. They replace others who have been here awhile and may be getting a bit burned out. The cycle continues.
I rarely even look at the general board anymore because of what it has turned into.
CH.com is a mixed blessing for me. I learned enough to be able to manage it myself and pass this along when apporopriate. But before CH.com I never thought about it between cycles, now I think about it every day
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floridian
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I think its human nature. There will always be people who go to church mostly for wedings, funerals, and major holidays. And a few people that really get involved. This community is even looser and more informal. I think it would be better if more people took part more often, but Que Sera - it is what it is.
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2007, 10:39am by floridian » |
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chewy
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Quote:| Just because people don't post here doesn't mean they aren't helping people or trying to "give back" something elsewhere. |
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Quote:| I know several people who never post, but they email and help lots of people. |
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READ the first post! I think Barb is refering to people who DO use the board but only for their own benefit.
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pubgirl
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #8 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 11:04am » |
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on Jan 14th, 2007, 10:54am, chewy wrote:
READ the first post! I think Barb is refering to people who DO use the board but only for their own benefit. |
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Chewy
I can read but
How would anyone know that they only do it for their own benefit?
How do you know who is here and who isn't and why they are here?
Wendy
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2007, 11:07am by pubgirl » |
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chewy
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Quote:| How would anyone know that they only do it for their own benefit? |
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Pretty simple Wendy. They show up when they need support, get it, then dissappear.
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pubgirl
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #10 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 11:18am » |
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Chewy
Sorry, don't mean to be pedantic here but what does "disappear" mean?
Not post? (doesn't mean they do nothing)
Don't appear as logged in? (they may prefer to be guests)
I "disappeared" for quite a long time but I can promise you I wasn't gone and I wasn't doing nothing, I just didn't post.
I still think people who take and don't give back are unfair, but it is really not fair to assume that if you can't see them and they aren't posting that they are doing nothing but take.
W
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chewy
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Quote:| if you can't see them and they aren't posting that they are doing nothing but take. |
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Refering strictly to the board, thats exactly what they are doing.
Lots of people take breaks but most of those come back and offer something.
I'm talking about the whiny, I need help people, who come, get what they need, and dont come back until they need again.
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pubgirl
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #12 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 11:29am » |
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Chewy
Those ones can fuck off 
But we could still never be sure who they are and I suspect I would be called one of them.
I just know that there are probably less than 20 people still regularly posting from when I first came here. We have "lost" many, many hundreds in that time
as Flo says Que Sera, Human nature, "that is life".
(and Yes, Jonny, Barbara, Bob and Margi are four of the originals God Help us all!)
W the B
Dubya da Bee
Wendy
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2007, 11:31am by pubgirl » |
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chewy
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Quote:
And there you have it! 
Quote:I suspect I would be called one of them.
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No. No you wouldn't.
I call you a lot of other things but thats for another thread.
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Charlie
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #14 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 12:51pm » |
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I don't have people in my house that I have to deal with so I have the time to come here. It was addictive to me and the few times I was away, I missed this place.
I admit that for me it's as much as a community as a support group but I find CH too damn interesting to not keep track. When my Dr. asks what's new? I like to have something to say.
Despite Jonny, it's a place I like to be 
Charlie
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pubgirl
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #15 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 1:01pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2007, 12:51pm, Charlie wrote:
Despite Jonny, it's a place I like to be
Charlie |
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And I like you being here whenever I visit 
Where is the MOC though, miss it?
W
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2007, 1:02pm by pubgirl » |
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Jackie
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #16 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 2:52pm » |
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I feel Barb is referring to the ones that come here.....whine, piss & moan, take what they need and are never seen or heard from again. After all, she went on a very long hiatus a while back....it was months and months. I kinda worried about her but figured she was just taking a break.
Let's face it.....the world if made up of doers & givers....users & takers.
Love to you all,
Jackie
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2007, 2:55pm by Jackie » |
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BarbaraD
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #17 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 3:50pm » |
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No, Jackie I didn't ever go anywhere. I was here and doing quite a bit during that time - just didn't have anything to say for a while.
And I'm talking about the ones who only come here when they're in cycle (sometimes every two or three years) stay around a month or so and then disappear until they need support again.
I don't know what people do when they don't come here. But the ones I'm talking about are the ones who SAY they haven't been around since their last cycle, but now need the board again. I guess that would be the takers.
Guess this place means too much to me to take it for granted.
Hugs BD
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Jonny
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #18 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 4:13pm » |
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on Jan 14th, 2007, 2:52pm, Jackie wrote:| I feel Barb is referring to the ones that come here.....whine, piss & moan, take what they need and are never seen or heard from again. |
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Thats my take on it!
Why the pissing match?
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Jackie
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #19 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 4:41pm » |
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That old pooch is amazing....he's eating like a hog, wanting to run around (vet said keep in quiet...HA) and even wanting to play with his toys.
Thanks for asking, King......
Love to you,
Jackie
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BMoneeTheMoneeMan
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #20 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 5:09pm » |
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Well Barb,
I hear what you are saying, but i dont think people should be required to stick around. Some people feel the need to give back at least what they have taken, others feel the need to give til it hurts, still others only take. It's what makes us a community and a family.
As long as someone got relief, thats all that matters for me. Sure, I would like people to stick around and pitch in, but as long as a person gets help and relief, thats what is most important.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half the population is stupider than that.
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Donna_D.
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #21 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 5:44pm » |
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I don't post much publicly anymore because of various reasons...those of you who know me know why.
That being said, I am here and reading every day. I send PM's to people needing support or advice. I do what I can to help out. I feel blessed if I get a response and even more blessed if I actually helped someone.
Just because someone shows up here periodically (episodically?) to ask for a life line because they are drowning in pain doesn't mean I won't throw them a rope.
Constant "attendance" on this message board should NEVER be a prerequisite for support.
A key sentence from the visitors guide:
There is plenty of room here for all.
I believe that is what the true intention of this message board is...help for ALL who suffer or support someone with CH.
To those that tend the lighthouse on a daily basis you get the satisfaction of helping someone in need. To those of you who just need a boost of support in your darkest hour, there are those of us here who care and are willing to help.
DD
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| « Last Edit: Jan 14th, 2007, 5:46pm by Donna_D. » |
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chewy
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Quote:Constant "attendance" on this message board should NEVER be a prerequisite for support.
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It isn't and never has been.
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Brew
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Re: I Gotta Bitch....
« Reply #23 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 6:27pm » |
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Some people pay it forward, and others don't.
Pretty simple.
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TonyG1
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on Jan 14th, 2007, 5:44pm, Donna_D. wrote:I believe that is what the true intention of this message board is...help for ALL who suffer or support someone with CH.
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Agree with you Donna D -- Just looking at the guestbook brings things into perspective ...
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