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Topic: Home Remedies - not for the faint of heart.... (Read 444 times) |
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Home Remedies - not for the faint of heart....
« on: Jan 10th, 2007, 4:41am » |
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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES > > 1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, > will prevent you from rolling over and going > back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. > > 2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of > laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. > > 3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing > vegetables by getting > someone else to hold them while you chop away. > > 4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the > toilet seat by simply using the sink. > > 5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut > yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing > the pressure in your veins. > Remember to use a timer. > > 6. Have a bad headache? Smash your thumb with a hammer > and you will forget about the headache. > > Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of > life really are: You only need two tools: > WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, > use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the > duct tape. > > Remember: > Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. > > Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. > > If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get > another chance. > > And finally, be really nice to your family and > friends; you never know when you might need them to > empty your bedpan.
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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Mosaicwench
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Re: Home Remedies - not for the faint of heart....
« Reply #1 on: Jan 10th, 2007, 7:24am » |
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Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Oh, how very true!
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The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. ~Author Unknown
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echo
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Chronic and still alive --- I Win!
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Re: Home Remedies - not for the faint of heart....
« Reply #2 on: Jan 10th, 2007, 11:16am » |
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Sound information. Off to piss in the sink, kitchen sink, it's closer.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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aprilbee
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Ain't I a stinkah!!
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Re: Home Remedies - not for the faint of heart....
« Reply #3 on: Jan 10th, 2007, 2:19pm » |
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Awesome! Those were great....I needed a laugh....I'm gonna have my hubby hold the veggies tonight.... 'cuz that f&^%*er keeps pissin in my sink!
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« Last Edit: Jan 10th, 2007, 2:20pm by aprilbee » |
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Charlie
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Re: Home Remedies - not for the faint of heart....
« Reply #4 on: Jan 11th, 2007, 2:20am » |
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Quote:Off to piss in the sink, kitchen sink, it's closer. |
| Always remember that a real gentlemen takes the dishes out of the sink first. Maybe even rinses them off when he puts them back. Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Charlotte
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Re: Home Remedies - not for the faint of heart....
« Reply #5 on: Jan 11th, 2007, 8:17am » |
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too funny. a variation to #6 is to drop a large flower pot on you big toe. Charlotte
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kcopelin
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good grief
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Re: Home Remedies - not for the faint of heart....
« Reply #6 on: Jan 11th, 2007, 10:06am » |
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another- each morning blend a large frog in the blender and drink the resulting frog shake. Nothing worse will happen to you that day. kathy
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Words count, chose carefully.
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miker6565
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Early Bird gets the worm? How about a Peanut? :)
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Re: Home Remedies - not for the faint of heart....
« Reply #7 on: Jan 14th, 2007, 9:34pm » |
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Good Stuff......tried the hammer thing didn't work lol If I used the sink I think my vegtble be the one cut by the mrs. thus leaving no reason to lift the lid Firm beleiver in wd-40 and duct tape Thanks for sharing,, Peace always, Mike
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"If at first you don't succeed,,Get out the hammer,,If the hammer don't work,,Go back to bed....."Have you hugged your kids lately?" Peace always, Mike
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