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Topic: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)! (Read 301 times) |
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aubmari
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Do not lose heart~
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Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« on: Dec 1st, 2006, 12:16pm » |
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Jeff Foxworthy's comments on Montana
If "vacation" to you means going shopping for the weekend in Great
Falls, Billings or Bozeman (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn), You
might live in Montana.
If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord You might
live in Montana
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim
by, You might live in Montana.
If you're proud that your state makes the national news primarily
because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in
Montana.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy", You
might live in Montana
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You
might live in Montana.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there,
You might live in Montana.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, You might live in Montana.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in
Montana.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in
Montana.
If you know how to correctly pronounce Butte, You might live in Montana.
If you measure distance in hours,
You might live in Montana.
If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup, You might live in Montana.
If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, You might
live in Montana.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C"in the same day and back again,
You might live in Montana.
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching, You might live in Montana.
If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might
live in Montana.
If you've installed security lights on your house and garage and leave
both unlocked, You might live in Montana.
If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school
basketball game, You might live in Montana.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to
use them, You might live in Montana.
If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any
given time, You might live in Montana.
If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on Deer gun
Opener, You might live in Montana.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You
might live in Montana.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, You might live in Montana.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, You might live in Montana.
If you can identify a southern or eastern accent, You might live in
Montana.
If you consider Red Lodge exotic,
You might live in Montana.
If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
cottonwood, You might live in Montana.
If the sunbelt to you means Miles City,
You might live in Montana.
If a brat is something you eat,
You might live in Montana.
If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, You
might live in Montana.
If you find 0 degrees a little chilly,
You might live in Montana.
If you actually understand these observations, , You must live in Montana
Happy Friday!!!!!!!! 
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Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, Love deeply and forgive quickly.
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kcopelin
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good grief
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #1 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 12:18pm » |
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I'll bet all five people that live in Montana thought that was funny.
kathy
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Words count, chose carefully.
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vietvet2tours
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #2 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 12:26pm » |
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on Dec 1st, 2006, 12:18pm, kcopelin wrote:
I'll bet all five people that live in Montana thought that was funny.
kathy |
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It's not funny it's the truth.I'm one of the five and we're prayin 999,994 furriners go back to wherever it is they came from.
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Kill em all let God sort em out
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floridian
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #3 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 12:37pm » |
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That's all very nice, but you can't compete with the pros. A version of this was in yesterday's paper here:
Quote:
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JeffB
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Wide open till you see God, then brake
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #4 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 12:41pm » |
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on Dec 1st, 2006, 12:37pm, floridian wrote:That's all very nice, but you can't compete with the pros. A version of this was in yesterday's paper here:
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That's excactly why I gave up crack!
Jeff "stumpy" B
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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aubmari
New Board Old Timer
Do not lose heart~
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #5 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 12:43pm » |
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my favorite is:
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to
use them, You might live in Montana.
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Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, Love deeply and forgive quickly.
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Redd
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NopeRe: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #6 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 1:03pm » |
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Quote:If a brat is something you eat,
You might live in Montana. |
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Nope.....thats Wisconsin.....
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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George_J
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #7 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 3:46pm » |
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on Dec 1st, 2006, 12:37pm, floridian wrote:That's all very nice, but you can't compete with the pros. A version of this was in yesterday's paper here:
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Natural Selection at work. Carry on.
Best,
George
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
Wearing the tangerine suits
And their harlequin eyes.
The pain they inspire
Draws in harmonica melodies
And the feathers of birds
Which flame up at their touch.
It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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Jonny
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #8 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 5:13pm » |
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Jeff Foxworthy has
> to say about New Englanders...
>
>
> If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September
> through May, you live in New England
>
> If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance
> and they don't work there, you live in New England .
>
> If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
> you live in New England .
>
> If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with
> someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in New
> Engla nd
>
> You know you're a New Englander when: "Vacation" means
> going anywhere south of New York City for the weekend.
>
> You measure distance in hours. . well, of course!
>
> You know several people who have hit a deer more than
> once.
>
> You have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
> and back again.
>
> You can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a
> raging blizzard without flinching.
>
> You install security lights on your house and garage,
> but leave both unlocked.
>
> You carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how
> to use them.
>
> You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
> snowsuit.
>
> The speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're
> going 80 and everybody is passing you!
>
> Driving is better in the winter because the potholes
> are filled with snow.
>
> You know all 4 seasons: almost winter , winter, still
> winter and road construction.
>
> You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
>
> You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."
>
> You actually understand these jokes, and forward them
> to all your New England friends & others!
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lskilly
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #9 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 8:49pm » |
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Ok Meet me at Judith Gap I'll be at Brady's and Linda Danw Darlins little spread.
Skilly
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #10 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 8:53pm » |
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Hey guys, where can I find what Foxworthy has to say about California? I mean what link did you go to, to get these?
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Jonny
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #11 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 9:17pm » |
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on Dec 1st, 2006, 8:53pm, Linda_Howell wrote: Hey guys, where can I find what Foxworthy has to say about California? I mean what link did you go to, to get these?
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I got it in an email
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Charlie
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #12 on: Dec 1st, 2006, 10:47pm » |
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Cute stuff guys.
Charlie
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purpleydog
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Re: Poking a lil fun at my home state..(true)!
« Reply #13 on: Dec 2nd, 2006, 2:48pm » |
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Quote: If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, You might live in Montana. |
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There's potholes in Montana?
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