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HappyElaine
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OK having kid problems need help!
« on: Nov 24th, 2006, 10:06am » |
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JD's Mom did the worst thing ever when JD was a baby, she let him sleep with her.
We finally got him sleeping in his own room it lasted about three months. Then it was right back to crawling in our bed.
My ribs hurt from the kicking and so does my daughters.
We have tried everything. We even tried having Santa write him a letter. So what happen, JD gets ready for bed, looks at us and says " Guys I been thinking and toys don't mean anything, computers don't mean anything, and TV's don't mean anything, but what's important is us together. If I don't get any thing for Christmas thats ok as long as I have you guys Family, cause thats all that is important. "
Now this kid is only 5 and knows how to get is way. You know he slept with us after saying that !
What can we do?
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CynthiaB
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #1 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 10:15am » |
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I shouldn't say anything because I haven't been through this myself. But my cousin did and she said it was one of the hardest things she's done. She said the trick was never giving in to it once you go to the big boy bed. It can't be a punishment, it's got to be a promotion.
Mine never slept with me. Two kids 14 months apart and all of us are wigglers. Somebody would have ending up cracking their head open.
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Margi
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #2 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 10:19am » |
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Hi Sister 
you know, my daughter tried this too when she was little. I think every kid does. And now HER daughter is seeing if she can get away with it - sleeping with Mummy - because Daddy lets her do it when she goes to see him on his weekends. It's a tough habit to break.
What I did with Corinne is I asked her why she wanted to sleep with me. I asked her during the day though, not when it was happening. She said because she was having bad dreams. So, I outsmarted her. I made her a "dream charm". (It was a quarter, that I coloured with a felt pen, a nice deep blue ... shh...don't tell her though, ok? She still has it and....she's 24 ). I told her that this dream charm would keep all her bad dreams away and would let her sleep all the way through the night without getting scared.
Kids are pretty damned cool when they're little. It's not until teenage years hit that they go a little bit strange on us. At this age though, they believe EVERYTHING we tell them, with every cell of their being.
So find out WHY JD needs to come sleep with you and then see if you can find a way to fix it. If it's dreams, build him a dream charm. If he's cold, make him a new blankie. If he's not tired, build him a "sleep charm".
We gotta always stay one step ahead of these kids, girl - you and I both know that!!
hugs and love,
TS
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HappyElaine
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #3 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 10:23am » |
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We redid his room did the pomotion thing, we gave treats for sleeping in his own bed made a big deal out of it when he did. It worked for three months, then he went back to wanting to sleep with us .I never had this problem with my kids.
We will try again I will do any thing to get him back in his bed.
The new thing he pulled is he wants one of us to stay up in the living room till he goes to sleep, if he sleeps in his own room, then he changed it to he wants us all in bed at the same time.
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Margi
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #4 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 10:27am » |
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sounds like you're going to have to convince him that grownups can't sleep until the children are sleeping. It's THE LAW.
So, have you asked him why he feels this way, E? Is it because he's scared of something?
I forgot to add, about the dream charm - Corinne was forever losing things, and she was worried she was going to lose this dream charm. I told her that it had magical powers and that as long as it was in her room somewhere, it would cover an area as big as her room. She never did lose it though - she kept it on her night table. She's moved that damn thing into every place she's lived, too, and I can always find it on her night table. She's lost her keys, her mastercard, her purse, her coat, but never the dream charm. I'm telling ya... 
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
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kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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HappyElaine
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #5 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 10:29am » |
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Margi That sounds great, he already has a dream catcher in his room, I will try that too. The reason he gave us was vampires he even has garlic in his room LOL. I will try that tomorrow night. Tiffany and her little girl will be hee tonight so JD has to sleep with Mom tonight.
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kcopelin
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #6 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 10:33am » |
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Elaine,
I lay down with my son and read to him til he falls asleep-have been doing this since he was a baby. He loves being read to, it gives us snuggle time, and then I get up after he's asleep.
When he has tried sleeping in our bed he discovered that I snore  Sometimes quite loudly ususally only when he has tried to sleep there-he ended up saying it gets too noisy 
Good luck-he sounds like a bright guy!
PFDAN y'all
kathy
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Margi
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #7 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 10:34am » |
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sounds like you need to make him a monster charm, honey. If you just make him a vampire charm, it WILL probably work to scare away his vampires, but he will then decide that there are other monsters in his room. So, head him off at the pass and make him an all encompassing monster charm. And, when he's going to bed, make him look in his closet, under his bed, behind the drapes, etc. to prove to him that his area is completely monster-free. Turn on all the lights, even give him a flashlight and let HIM be sure the room is safe.
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
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kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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kcopelin
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #8 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 10:35am » |
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Vampires! No wonder. I'd want to sleep with big people too.
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HappyElaine
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #9 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 11:28am » |
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OK taking a little of everyones advice here, JD and I just put in Google How to keep Vimpires away. Garlic YES so I just happen to have a brand new pack of Garlic so we are going to hang some over his windows and Doors and over his bed.
He already has a wooden cross over his bed.
Margi I think I will make that monster char just to be on the safe side.
Kathy he gets all that, I have never seen a child that could stay up longer than me but he can. Mom reads him a book lays with him but she falls asleep before he does. If she gets out of his bed, he knows it and up he gets. Jd gets a 15 minute warning that it will be bed time. Then he kisses us all good night then Mom reads him a book, tucks him in and says his prayers. Tonorrow night after our guest have left and everyone gets their beds back we will try the garlic and charm and see what happens. I will report the results Monday !
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BMoneeTheMoneeMan
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #10 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 11:38am » |
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Hi Elaine,
Sorry you are going through this. My daughter was the same way for a long time.
One thing, I wouldn't go putting garlic around the room because I think that would validate his fear of vampires (or monsters). If mommy is specifically taking steps to keep monsters out of his bedroom, it must mean monsters are real. I can see why he would get a little freaked out.
Hope you get some good sleep.
B$
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Mrs_R
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #11 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 12:04pm » |
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Hi Elaine,
He sounds like a bright little chap! Some children can feel very insecure for reasons that are not obvious and they certainly could not tell you why, and can sometimes make up monsters as a valid reason that they think you want to hear, in order to achieve what they want to happen.
It may be that he needs to feel that closeness with others at night to feel secure, but with lots of reassurance during the day he may be fine in his own bed at night.
Reassurance can come in many forms. You can reassure him that he is loved and cared for in words by telling him, but actions often speak louder than words. This could mean that there is a half hour or an hour a day that is set aside to do something with everyone together or you in particular so he begins to understand that he gets the one to one attention that he needs regularly, but at the same time being firm about where he sleeps at night, and no matter how many times he gets out of bed to come into you, he gets re-placed in his own bed!
The first few nights will be awful, but he will soon get the message.
Just my two cents!
take care
Liz
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chewy
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #12 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 12:25pm » |
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Duct Tape.
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HappyElaine
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #13 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 1:59pm » |
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His problem is he is spoiled . He is with me or Mom 24/7 he is the center of our world durning the day and when night comes he doesn't want it to stop.
He knows how to work us, we can't let him LOL.
I don't think it will hurt to keep the mosters away with a little Monster spray, Thanks Cathy and Margi for your ideas.
His mom is going to bring home all the stuff for vimpire and monster spray.
B don't you know Monsters are real. Everyone here has one in there heads all the time. To tell you the truth, I just think its away for him to get in our bed. He is smart enough to know saying the right thing will get him there. I know afraid and I know put on. He is putting on !
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Guiseppi
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #14 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 2:15pm » |
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My father, a dad to 14 kids so I tended to listen to him, said that every time you have contact with a dog, or a child, training is occurring. Sometimes you are training the dog, sometimes the dog is training you!
There is no question about the ability we have to do the training, it always comes down to the will!!!! And damn, when those little brats would look up at me with their big blue eyes and say, "but daddy"......all those Doctor Spock books kinda run outta your brain. Good luck, cuz when he's 16 and still sleeping with you, Child Protective Services pays you a visit!
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ShariRae
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #15 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 2:23pm » |
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Hey E My son did the same thing when he was little..so I told him we had to find a way to scare the monsters...I let him figure out what he thought would work...lights..special toys..ect...then told him he could sleep in my bed 1 more nite while we scared the monsters away...and once he was sound asleep in my bed..I poured a trail of goobers & raisinettes from the hall to the front door...when he woke up..he was so excited & said "Look mom..we scared the poop out of them & they left" hehehe mission accomplished..he has been sleepin in his bed ever since!
Good Luck
Much Love
Shari
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HappyElaine
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #16 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 2:38pm » |
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LMAO Guiseppi !
I wish you could see the eyes and expressions he give us. I just cave in.
Shari LMAO thats a cute story kids are so funny
Here are a few things he has done!
J D'S Mom asked him to help her get the house in order. JD said it is in order, the den is in the back of the house the kitchen and living room are in the middle and the bedrooms are at the end.
JD was in church and he was board. It had been a long service for such a little boy. We all stood up to sing, at the end of the song it was quiet all except hearing JD scream and throw up his hands saying ! Now lets go home Lord!
One day JD was in one of his moods, you know the kind. Where every time you turned around you would trip over him, just right under foot all day. I told him he was annoying me, I said look at these gray hairs that's what happens when people annoy others they get gray hairs. When papa came home he said Papa your whiskers are gray! I feel sorry for you. Papa said why? JD said because Nana has annoyed you all your life.
JD was jumping on the sofa and I told him to stop he kept doing it. I made him go to time out. He looked at me and said Nana haven't you heard that God is a God of second changes. I said yes and I agree on second changes but not third and fourth.
I have big ears, I had my hair cut but it covers my ears. I came out of the bath room with my hair wet and pushed back and my ears were showing. JD had this shocked look on his face and pointed to my ears and said Nana you have big ears, Deveny said JD'S HUSH. He said but Mom they are Hugh!LOL
Kids can be so funny.
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vietvet2tours
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #17 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 3:05pm » |
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on Nov 24th, 2006, 12:25pm, chewy wrote: Staple gun
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #18 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 3:49pm » |
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Nyquil
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #19 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 4:22pm » |
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on Nov 24th, 2006, 12:25pm, chewy wrote:
Crazy glue.
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #20 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 5:27pm » |
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Pinkfloyd
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #21 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 6:44pm » |
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A coffin with a padlock on the outside... and some muddy footprints leading toward the coffin.
Tell him you locked the vampire in it while he was sleeping. Ask if he'd like to use the coffin as a work desk. And if he falls asleep soon enough each night, he won't hear the scratching from inside.
or
they do stop crying eventually.
Bobw
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #22 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 6:47pm » |
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My little boy Andy tried that for a while when he was about 4 . It was a firm No from us and the explaination that big boys dont sleep with mummy, simple as that. I would absolutely refuse to stay in bed if he was there. If he got there first, I would stay up and out of the room, if he tried to crawl in half way through the night, I would immediately cart him back to his own bed, repeatedly.
We did the "why wouldnt you want to sleep in your room" and the hanging of dream catcher and light and charm .... Then the reasons started to get silly so we knew he was just making things up as an excuse and we stopped "chasing".
He only tried a dozen of times after that then he gave up. Kids know when adults really mean it when we stick steadfastly to what we say. To tell them no one day then yes the next will confuse them and makes them try to push further.
Never had the same problem with my older one. I put Edwyn into his own room from the age of 6 months and he never had that issue. Andy had asthma so we kept him in the cot next to our bed to watch over him until he was 18 months, that seemed to have made the difference.
Good luck with it Elaine and yes the smarter the kid is the harder it is 
Annette
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vietvet2tours
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #23 on: Nov 24th, 2006, 7:07pm » |
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George_J
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Re: OK having kid problems need help!
« Reply #24 on: Nov 25th, 2006, 12:44am » |
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Ours did something similar for a while. From about three to about five.
Whenever one path met some resistance, she never railed against it or fought or cried about it, but always thought of another way around. She's a total Jesuit that way.
We were inflexible when she asked whether she could sleep with us. She would sweetly allow herself to be put to bed, fall asleep, and everything would be cool. Doors closed, everything's fine. But then we'd wake up in the morning, and there she'd be at the foot of the bed. Somehow she'd wake up at oh-dark-thirty, and creep in so quietly that we never noticed she'd done it.
By the time we noticed she was there, it was morning, and too stinkin' early to do anything creative about it, especially when we were pre-coffee. This went on for a while, and we could never figure out what to do about it, or how she did it. After all--there was no fight involved, she had gone to bed in her own bed, and it was not a monster issue. Going to bed in her own bed never seemed to bother her. She just didn't stay there.
We never made a big deal out of it. I guess we figured she'd quit doing it when she was ready to, and she did. Same way she eventually gave up the hideous blankie she used to tote around with her everywhere. Man, that thing was its own ecosystem.
Best,
George
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