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Topic: If you're going through Hell... (Read 309 times) |
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sandie99
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If you're going through Hell...
« on: Nov 14th, 2006, 6:43am » |
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... just keep on going, maybe the devil won't know you're there... 
For the past 7 days I've been living in Hell and I have no idea how to get out. But I'm sure fighting to find it.
The devil has been having a ball inside my head, so it was a miracle that I had just shadows over the weekend. But got hit last night and the energy drink kept me up. So I got thinking too much...
Right now so many things are wrong in my life. I spent last year in haze and now I'm paying the price. I didn't notice that I had one credit too little in uni until it was too late. Now I have to call to my dissertation tutor and guidance counsillor and neurologists to get all sort of papers. If I don't get my case done, my student support will stop in February.
I already sent to Kela (the orginization which is in charge of student support among other things) one documentary earlier to prevent this all from happening, but aguess the right people never got it. Typical, I suppose.
Well, I do have another choice: graduate by February. Then it would not matter. All I need to do is dissertation and 3 essays; one of which can be done only after dissertation. And my head is empty or spinning. It seems that I've forgotten how to write in Finnish! 
I just tried to reach 2 of my neuros and the only person who replied was a very rude receptionist. She just asked me unnecessary details and said that all she could do was to send copy of my medical records; if I want some sort of certificate that I have ch, I have to pay. Great. GP back in UK wrote me the kind of letter I need in 2 minutes and never charged me a penny.
And if that is not enough, I have another health scare to deal with. I freaked out when I saw some changes in my skin and went to see my GP. He had no idea what they are and said that I will have to see a specialist. Naturally, you can quess what I've been thinking since because my father died of cancer and mum had skin cancer scare a few years back... I actually had my first ever panic attack last week when I thought about it too much. I've been telling myself not to worry about it until the specialist tells me to. But I have to wait 9 days until I know if I indeed have something to worry about.
And last night... I cried until 4.30 am, couldn't sleep, it all got to me. Maybe I should book an appointment to see the uni's terapist. Just that everything takes a month in this city and I don't have that much time.
I've been trying my best to keep this all together, but it's getting too much. At least that haze, which has been around me for so long is now gone. It's good that I've passed my breaking point long time ago. I'm stronger now and I need every bit of that strength right now. Aguess you could say that I'm in a fighter mode. I wish I knew what to do, though. How to make this all alright.
Thank you for letting me get this all out of my system. I needed it.
I wish you all a beautiful, PF day. 
Best wishes,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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LeLimey
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #1 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 7:32am » |
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Sanna, sit back and take a breath.
Thats a lot you have going on and you just need to deal with one thing at a time. When things are overwhelming me I make lists. I write things down and put them in number order of what I need to do now, what I can't do til tomorrow or when paperwork arrives or whatever is stopping me doing it now and I make a plan.
It doesn't make less to do but it does make me feel like I'm more in control and thats the key to coping.
Your skin is fine, I have a strong feeling about it, trust me. I'd put that down to the stress from everything else and I know it'll turn out to be nothing to worry about. Psoriasis for instance is usually triggered by stress. Other things are too.
You WILL be fine I promise!
One thing at a time okay? Work out what you can do when and you'll sail through it all.
love
Helen
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kayarr
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #2 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 7:32am » |
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Here darlin'...... 
Sending you extra Love and Prayers.
Kimberly
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nani
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #3 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 8:36am » |
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Big hug, Sanna. Take a deep breath and listen to Helen. One thing at a time is much easier to deal with.
I'm sure that everything will work out exactly the way it's supposed to, it always does. Worrying ourselves sick is never worth it. Keep breathing, tackle one issue at a time, and keep your chin up, K?
Sending lotsa love and prayers.
hugs, nani
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Tara Ann
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #4 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 9:24am » |
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Oh Sanna, Big hugs. You are dealing with alot right now. It's good you cried some of it out. Just keep plugging along and things will get better, I just know it! "It's always darkest before the dawn"
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Shaz
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #5 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 10:58am » |
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Hi Sanna
Well Helen gave you lots of good advice so wont try and add any more. Sending you a huge hug and will be thinking about you. Be strong. This is just a nasty old blip and you are going to come out of the other side. With a fantastic degree I am quite sure.
And if not, what the heck...........
Treat yourself to something special tonight.
Love Shaz 
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sandie99
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #6 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 11:17am » |
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Thank you al for your kind, encouraging words.
And the hugs & vibes.
I've set up a meething with my dissertation tutor and I'll continue chasing docs tomorrow.
I took a long walk and it was quite relaxing; it's snowing outside.
Shaz, I just might follow that advice and treat myself. 
Best wishes,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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tanner
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #7 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 11:19am » |
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Sanna, you know we will be praying for you ( NO NOT FOR YOUR SKIN SILLY ), I'd bet my left......well you know what I mean, That Helen is spot on about the cause of that.
No we will be praying and hoping that you will find the bright enough official to understand what all you deal with and just how well you do at it.
Would a whole bunch of character references do ya any good
Keep yer chin up girl and it will all work out
...Tim
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George_J
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #8 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 1:35pm » |
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Chin up, Sanna. We're all on your side. It's a lot you're dealing with, but as others have said--one thing at a time.
Best always,
George
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
Wearing the tangerine suits
And their harlequin eyes.
The pain they inspire
Draws in harmonica melodies
And the feathers of birds
Which flame up at their touch.
It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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Langa
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #9 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 2:06pm » |
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Hey Pretty Girl, sorry to hear things have been so tough lately, but your tougher and you will get through this.
I'm with Helen on the skin thing...I get Pitoriosis with stress (remember my hickie thread a year ago  )...
Hang in there!
Love,
Langa
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Linda_Howell
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #10 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 2:11pm » |
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Quote:| And if that is not enough, I have another health scare to deal with. I freaked out when I saw some changes in my skin and went to see my GP. He had no idea what they are |
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Any GP in the world worth his paycheck would know immediately just by looking at your skin if it looked like it might be a cancer.
Also, You are too young to be worried about this. 
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Charlie
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Re: If you're going through Hell...
« Reply #11 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 5:57pm » |
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Wow.
I like the priority listing ideas. Smart bunch here.
It sounds like you're already doing the right stuff and here's hoping your tutor will take over a lot of that area soon.....one thing covered maybe.
Hang on and keep up the rants.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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