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Topic: Helen should be OK... (Read 814 times) |
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Paul98
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AP photo
Associated Press
Nottinghamshire, UK
In a bizarre Halloween accident a woman identified as Ms. Helen LeLimey was critically injured today in a one broom accident. Witnesses at the scene said it is a miracle that no one was killed. One witness, who gave his name only as Yorky, said the woman Careened around the corner at tremendous speed and slammed into the pole. “Itsa miracle she wasn’t killed, init?” he said. As Rescuers’ worked to stabilize the woman; she was overheard mumbling incoherently about someone’s spotted dick and his fatty balls. A close friend of the victim said she had been acting Strangely in the last few days and rarely was seen without broom in hand. “I just thought she was obsessed with sweeping” the friend said. After medical treatment, she will be transferred to Nottinghamshire Psychiatric Hospital for a full psychiatric evaluation. Police are still trying to determine the cause of the accident.
-P.
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pattik
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #1 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 10:12am » |
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Helen, are you gonna take that!? Go get him. 
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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Paul98
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #2 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 10:15am » |
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on Oct 31st, 2006, 10:12am, pattik wrote:| Helen, are you gonna take that!? Go get him. |
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Lets just say Helen isn't in the "position" to respond at the moment. I'm sure I'll pay for this one for a long time. 
-P.
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Mrs_R
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #3 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 10:19am » |
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Gee Paul, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes when Helen catches up with you!!! 
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maffumatt
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #4 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 10:27am » |
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Paul DO NOT EAT HER COOKING I repeat DO NOT EAT HER COOKING!
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alchemy
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get out of my head
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #5 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 10:39am » |
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i guess Helen just wasn't ready for the turbo broom
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George_J
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #6 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 10:41am » |
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You are so dead, Paul.....
I'll send lilies.
Best,
George
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
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The pain they inspire
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It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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LeLimey
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #7 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 10:46am » |
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Paul my sweet.. remember those pics of you in fancy dress I swore I'd never post? Well.. the book in my hand wasn't the bible - it was "101 uses for fatty balls" 
love you lots (but not enough to keep your secrets!)
Helen
PS I'm going to wear that broom out on you one of these fine days laddie!
Paul "come as you are party 2001"
Paul - well this was just an average sunday afternoon actually..
Paul's favourite Barbie costume (and yes he does have LOTS)
Paul without shaving...
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Paul98
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #8 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 10:53am » |
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Thank you Helen for not showing the really embareassing photos.
My sides are aching from laughing so hard. 
-P.
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LeLimey
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #9 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 10:54am » |
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wait til you stand up and I lose my shoe up your harris you bugger....
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Paul98
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #10 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 11:02am » |
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on Oct 31st, 2006, 10:54am, LeLimey wrote:| wait til you stand up and I lose my shoe up your harris you bugger.... |
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Oh Helen, tease, tease...
-P.
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Shaz
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #11 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 12:12pm » |
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Paul, you made me panic when I started reading this thread. Wondering what had happened to the women.
Great thread though, and Helen the pics are brilliant.
Brightened up my afternoon.
Shax 
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alchemy
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get out of my head
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #12 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 12:14pm » |
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on Oct 31st, 2006, 12:12pm, Shaz wrote:Paul, you made me panic when I started reading this thread. Wondering what had happened to the women.
Great thread though, and Helen the pics are brilliant.
Brightened up my afternoon.
Shax |
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i thought the same thing then i saw the pic and felt bad for the tree
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LeeS
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #13 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 12:28pm » |
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She's a witch, she's a witch .........
..... burn her!
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LeLimey
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #14 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 12:31pm » |
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And as for you Ting Tong, when I want sheet I'll squeeze your head
Just in case anyone forgot our pet pervs favourite pastime..
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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LeeS
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #15 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 12:32pm » |
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I'm the one on the left with the nice legs
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Margi
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #16 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 12:52pm » |
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gettin a little thick around the middle, aren't you, Lee?
Looks like you need to use a little bit more hair conditioner, too - your hair's a bit flat.
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kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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rickyshot
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #17 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 1:01pm » |
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What worries me is that Helen has a pic of me in her arsenal to photoshop.
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LeLimey
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #18 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 1:04pm » |
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Don't worry Ricky, girls are exempt from being picked on cos we can all gang up together on the neanderthals troglodytes boys and its MUCH more fun!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Paul98
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #19 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 1:04pm » |
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on Oct 31st, 2006, 1:01pm, rickyshot wrote:| What worries me is that Helen has a pic of me in her arsenal to photoshop. |
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The only way to unarm Helen is to have no shame like me. Otherwise be afraid...very afraid.
-P.
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LeLimey
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #20 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 1:06pm » |
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on Oct 31st, 2006, 1:04pm, Paul98 wrote:
The only way to unarm Helen is to have no brain like me. Otherwise be afraid...very afraid.
-P.
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fixed it
and where exactly do you think you came off on "unarming" me you muppet?!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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sandie99
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #21 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 1:22pm » |
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Thanks for the chuckles, guys!
Sanna
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"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Lizzie2
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #22 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 1:26pm » |
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You know, I knew she drove a little bit quickly, but I had no idea she had a broom hidden in her closet! Did you, Matt? Honestly...if I'd only have known - I would have tried to stop her. I'm a medical professional you know... She was definitely a closet broom-rider. 
Paul - ya damn near gave me a heart attack by the title as well! Shame on you! I shall be sending you some, uh, what was it again Helen? Soup? Curry? strained properly of course. Helen taught me!
Helen - Give hugs to the kids for me! I know Brid kept asking for me to come back for Halloween!! Wish I could've!! Miss you lot!
Lizzie2
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Yorky
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #23 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 1:29pm » |
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yous lot kill me
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today is a gift.....thats why it is called the
present.
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Helen should be OK...
« Reply #24 on: Oct 31st, 2006, 2:09pm » |
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Helen's broom must have been a GM product.
If it had been a FORD she'd have already been flying over Paul's house about now. Instead.....she never got out of England.
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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