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Topic: First Date......the update... (Read 972 times) |
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Lizzie2
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First Date......the update...
« on: Oct 30th, 2006, 12:41am » |
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Well - one date turned into 3 dates. We went out to dinner again last night. And I was pretty happy about everything....
He was supposedly going down to Wilmington to visit a college buddy of his last night and go out to the bars, but now I sort of don't even know if that was true.
He didn't answer a quick text message last night - and didn't respond to any of my texts or phone messages today. At first, I sent him the usual messages as if nothing had changed. On the way home from work, I started to wonder if something had happened to him because it wasn't like him not to write me back or at least call me and leave a message right away. Then when I got home, he didn't answer any IM's. Now he's signed off AIM, but is registered as online on Match.com - where we met. Guess that's saying something...
I sooooooooooo didn't need this right now. I had a horrible day at work today and even ended up in tears there over this incident that required me to have security escort 2 parents off our unit. And tomorrow I have 3 different doctor appts at 3 different hospitals...surprisingly none of them for neurology at all....for other things I've had going on.
And now this. Just when I open up again and feel like starting to date again... Sometimes I wonder if I am just meant to be alone. Who'd want to be with somebody like me anyways?  
Sorry - had to vent...heart broken again, I guess.... I know I had some big brothers and sisters around here somewhere...
Hugz,
Carrie
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kissmyglass
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #1 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 12:50am » |
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shudda boinked em 
really, sorry Lizzie
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cateyes
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #2 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 12:50am » |
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aww Lizzie...Then he was not worth it then..If he can`t even call you and say it isn`t working for him ..That just means someone better is out there for you and he wasn`t it..
And now...Give us his phone number and address and we`ll take care of the rest ...
How dare he hurt you this way...I`m sure the "boys" will be showing up soon asking for his information also..lol..
Took me over 2 yrs to find anyone I even wanted to waste time on...And the wait was worth it...
Hang in there dear...
((((Love and Vibes)))))
Cateyes
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| « Last Edit: Oct 30th, 2006, 12:52am by cateyes » |
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shadows stalker...have ya seen him? he is running from the duct tape..someone grab him for me please..
KISSES,CATEYES
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alienspacebabe
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #3 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 12:57am » |
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It's really easy to read too much into not getting responses, Carrie. Hard as it is to do, sit back and breathe. So often, we think too much about things: what did he really mean, stuff like that. We assume we did something to drive him away (and sometimes we did) - that's not a safe assumption. You have no idea why he didn't answer, so if you have to assume something, assume he's having a great time.
Hope this helps.
Lizzie
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Turts
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #4 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 1:31am » |
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sorry to hear it lizzie,
but as alienspacebabe said, try not to read too much into it. maybe hes playing the game, tryin not to respond to sound too eager, thats mans nautre, maybe unable to reply, flat battery etc. try not to ring too much.
try not to read between the lines, sometimes there are no lines.
i was single for 6 years nearly seven before i found my 1.
they turn up when least expected and leastin tryin.
(find out if any friends have hot , eligible cousins, like i did, 
hope it all works out
Turts
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Lizzie2
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #5 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 1:36am » |
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Oh yeah - I stopped calling the second I realized what was really going on. I don't like to pester people at all. I had only called initially to leave a message in the same way i did every day - and when I hadn't heard back, I left another message on the way home from work just calling to make sure he was okay since I knew he was driving an hour to go out with a friend last night.
I know what you mean by not reading into it too much - but the writing on the wall seems pretty clear to me. He's been online, and I sent an IM there thinking maybe he didn't get my messages on his phone or was sleeping or something. He didn't answer the IM. It's just looking pretty obvious. And also, this isn't the first time this exact same thing has happened to me.
I mean - I will see if I hear from him tomorrow at all, but right now, it's easier for me not to hold out hope. I don't need to go through the crash and burn like I already did tonight - yet one more time.
Anyway... thanks for the messages. Gotta get some sleep.
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LeLimey
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #6 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 4:54am » |
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My advice would be wait and see.. innocent until proven guilty!!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Dape
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #7 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 6:02am » |
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on Oct 30th, 2006, 12:41am, Lizzie2 wrote:
Just when I open up again and feel like starting to date again... Sometimes I wonder if I am just meant to be alone. Who'd want to be with somebody like me anyways?
Sorry - had to vent...heart broken again, I guess.... I know I had some big brothers and sisters around here somewhere...
Hugz,
Carrie |
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Oi woman if i was closer i would come over and give you a good spanking
I have only met you once Carrie and not for long enough IMOH but from that i know that you are a wonderful careing person who is not only beautiful on the inside but on the out side too.
OMG sleep deprevation is making me go all mushy time to man up a bit,
Go out to a bar get steaming drunk and see what happens
Dape
PS: I meant the mushy bit
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BB
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #8 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 8:11am » |
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Hi Lizzie,
How well do you know him Lizzie ? You said he works in the same hospital right ? What have you heard about him through the grapevines ?
Anyhow, I agree with Helen, give him the benefit of the doubt, and quit putting yourself down.
You went out for a good time and both of you enjoyed the dates and had fun, thats the most important part.
If you judge each and every date only on whether or not its going to lead you to the altar, then your subconcious attitude will scare a lot of guys off.
Relax, Lizzie and just enjoy peoples company and concentrate on having a great time going out. If its meant to happen it will happen, fretting about things like this wont help and will make you feel down.
Have fun , enjoy life , get to know them as good friends first.
Hugs
Annette
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alchemy
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #9 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 9:17am » |
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Just give me his address i'll get thr truth out of him
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rickyshot
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #10 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 11:07am » |
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I am of the opinion that when things are right they fall into place and you don't have to chase down a man or pull teeth. Most men like the hunt and I agree if he is interested in more than being friends he will pursue.
IMO it is not nice not to return messages. If not interested just call back and say I am just dating now or some such line as that. But return a call. But most men are cowards. Shows lack of character if you ask me and if he does call eventually I would not pursue a deeper relationship with this man.
It is not you Carrie. Everyone is not for everyone. Just because someone is nice etc does not make them your mate. Perhaps he feels that way about you. I wasted 8 years with Mr. Wrong before and then went a year and half before finding Kev. Finding dates and sex is easy. Finding mates or relationships is hard for anyone even the rich and famous. So do not put yourself down. Take the advice above of the one who said don't look at every date as a potential mate. Dont' put that kind of pressure on yourself or put out that vibe to someone else. They will run like hell.
It still sucks I know but that is part of life.
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JeffB
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #11 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 11:45am » |
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Play it a little cooler. If I start getting a bunch of text messages, calls, emails then I start to worry! IMHO
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Peppermint
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #12 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 11:53am » |
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on Oct 30th, 2006, 12:50am, kissmyglass wrote:shudda boinked em
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LOL KMG..!... but I was thinking.. 3rd date... hmmmm...
Lizzie, don't worry about it. It's ONE fish in the sea and you are young. There's a whole ocean out there.
Also, what Jeff B said.
Plus - it's not you, it's him. I love what Ricky said, she's right on the money with that. Don't let some fool like him get you down.
 Pep
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| « Last Edit: Oct 30th, 2006, 11:54am by Peppermint » |
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mcf69
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #13 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 12:42pm » |
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Carrie,
Don't stress right way, give it a couple days and see what happens, you never know, he might have a good excuse, or he might be playing hard to get to pique your interest. If he totally blows you off and breaks your heart, PM me his address and I'll go have a "talk" with him Keep your chin up kiddo and hang in there 
Ben
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Mr. Happy
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #14 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 5:57pm » |
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I'm with Kev on this one, Shortcake!
Just yell if ya need a pity boink; you know where I live.
It's teamwork like this.........
Hap
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Lizzie2
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #15 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 5:58pm » |
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OK OK because I feel like I have to explain a couple of things and defend myself from a couple of assumptions made here.....
I was NOT looking at him (or every date) as a potential husband. I was enjoying just getting to know him. I was so very happy that for once, a guy wasn't rushing things along by being either emotionally clingy or really rushing the physical before we got to know each other.
But doesn't anybody think that even if you're just getting to know somebody that if you go on 3 dates with them and things seem like they're going well - that it would hurt when all the sudden that person just cuts off all communication and doesn't even offer any explanation as to why? I've seen this before - my last boyfriend of several months broke up with me by not returning my calls for 3 days and then sending me a breakup email. Why is that an acceptable way to terminate things in this day and age?
And also - I wasn't sending him obsessive text messages or leaving messages. We texted back and forth about a dozen times every day...just to talk since we both had very busy schedules. So I'd sent him a text on Saturday night saying that I'd gotten home from King of Prussia and asking if he'd gotten to Wilmington, since I knew he was driving down there and it was late and the weather had been bad. No reply. I didn't think anything of it - figured he was out at the bar and didn't see the message.
The next morning, I sent him a text with again the usual - just saying I had 3 babies in trans and asking how the night went. No answer. I left a phone message at lunch saying I was just calling to say hello, see how the night was, and tell him how my day had been going so far. Nothing - I still didn't put 2 and 2 together. I started to worry that maybe something had happened - some sort of accident or something as this wasn't like him. I texted one more time to ask where he was and left one more message saying I just wanted to make sure he was okay.
Then when I got home, I saw he was on AIM, so I sent him just 2 IMs there to see what was up. No response.
Since then, I haven't contacted him. So yeah, I sent him a couple of messages yesterday, but until the evening when I was trying to make sure something hadn't happened to him, I didn't send any messages that weren't the same as what we always did. They never scared him off - he had been the one who had started the IM/text messaging thing. I wasn't like calling him 15 times a day and askiing where he was, leaving all these messages, or anything like that... So I hope I cleared that up....
He doesn't work at my hospital. I had met him online and was really just starting to get to know him. We'd gone out to dinner twice and I went over there one evening to watch tv and hang out. He gave me a kiss every night before I left to go home.
But it's pretty obvious by now that this is his way of cutting things off. I really appreciate the optimism of those of you who are telling me not to jump to conclusions and to just wait, but it's just not like that. I know he was at home last night, and he was always one to send me message after message on my phone and on IM, and all the sudden, he won't respond to any of mine and was already on the dating site where I met him again last night. So - I think the silence speaks louder than the words...
Ricky's statement just rings so true that it's not nice not to return messages. Couldn't he at least had the deceny to tell me he wasn't interested or something else to that effect? It's pretty hurtful when somebody leads you on and then just ends it without even saying a word about it - he still gave me a kiss when I left on Saturday night - and then that was it. Would have been nice if I'd had some clue that he wasn't interested.....don't KISS me if you are planning on never talking to me again! Geez...... I know a lot of people just don't like confrontation, but I think he owed me at least a word or two....
So there ya go.... I appreciate the messages of support and the optimism to just wait and see. I have not tried to contact him at all since like 2 hours before I made the first post here last night. I'm not one to be obsessive like that... Just sad that when I finally open myself up, this kind of stuff always happens. I talked to one of my very good med student friends last night, and he said, "Maybe you should just find somebody who also has a lot of medical problems so that way you can understand each other..." I know he was trying to be nice, but talk about insensitive... Just made me cry that much harder!! And after the day I had yesterday at the hospital with some majorly crazy stuff, I just didn't need this to happen last night, too!!
But oh well.....nothing to do but keep on keeping on... Thanks for letting me rant.
Hugz,
Carrie
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Lizzie2
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #16 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 6:03pm » |
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on Oct 30th, 2006, 5:57pm, Mr. Happy wrote:I'm with Kev on this one, Shortcake!
Just yell if ya need a pity boink; you know where I live.
It's teamwork like this.........
Hap
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FramCire
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #17 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 6:17pm » |
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Carrie,
I have learned that sometimes there are simple answers for things like this. I am not saying you shouldn't be upset but if he does contact you, just wait and see what the answer is before you lay into him.
If he doesn't contact you, then his loss. I know it doesn't make you feel any better, but it is his loss. Any idiot who pulls the cone of silence as a way of breaking up is an ass (ask around, I don't cuss very much).
You deserve better than this in my book. Even if he has a good excuse, you still deserve better.
Eric
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Dape
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #18 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 6:19pm » |
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on Oct 30th, 2006, 6:03pm, Lizzie2 wrote:
on Today at 9:57pm, Mr. Happy wrote:I'm with Kev on this one, Shortcake!
Just yell if ya need a pity boink; you know where I live.
It's teamwork like this.........
Hap
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I wont tell you that i was gona offer too but thought 22 months was a bit long for you to wait
Dape
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Richr8
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #19 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 6:23pm » |
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on Oct 30th, 2006, 11:07am, rickyshot wrote:| But most men are cowards. |
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Hmmm?
Actually, I agree with some others. Don't give up the ship just yet.
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pf wishes,
Rich
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LeLimey
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #20 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 6:24pm » |
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on Oct 30th, 2006, 5:58pm, Lizzie2 wrote:| I talked to one of my very good med student friends last night, and he said, "Maybe you should just find somebody who also has a lot of medical problems so that way you can understand each other..." |
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Tell him from that that I said Well if like should only date like then maybe I should become a psychotic anal retentive scumbag and date you
What a prime example of inbreeding actually, scratch that.. no breeding 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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JeffB
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #21 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 6:39pm » |
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I know I will get slammed by this but you put it out there.
Not to be mean or nasty, BUT, just from what I've read, I would set a NIKE world speed record if were dating you for just a few days. You say you're not obsessed, maybe not but pretty close in my eyes. Texting between someone a dozen times a day is a bit freakish, but thats me. I would probably change my number at this point. You've only known this person whom you met on the web less than a week or so, so why take these actions by him so hard. Men are dumb and stupid, make them chase you down, make them work at it.
O.k., let me have it!!
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Mr. Happy
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #22 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 7:27pm » |
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on Oct 30th, 2006, 6:39pm, JeffB wrote:| Texting between someone a dozen times a day is a bit freakish, but thats me. |
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You're old, man. Old, dumb and stupid. You're over 30. To the under 30 crowd, 20 minute waits are unforgivable. Immediate communication, immediate gratification.
As a man, (a proudly aging one at that,) I suck at the communication part, but readily understand the immediate gratification missive. Life can be shorter than you think.
Will fuck for beer.
Hap
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JeffB
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #23 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 7:37pm » |
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on Oct 30th, 2006, 7:27pm, Mr. Happy wrote:
You're old, man. Old, dumb and stupid. You're over 30. To the under 30 crowd, 20 minute waits are unforgivable. Immediate communication, immediate gratification.
As a man, (a proudly aging one at that,) I suck at the communication part, but readily understand the immediate gratification missive. Life can be shorter than you think.
Will fuck for beer.
Hap
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Life is what you make it.
I should know, I'm old, dumb and stupid.
Now lets have some beers and CHASE some college chicks.
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Charlie
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Re: First Date......the update...
« Reply #24 on: Oct 30th, 2006, 7:41pm » |
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Don't ask me. The last and only...for that matter....date I was on was 1969. My squeezes since have all been arranged things, mostly friends of friends and some weird ones from cousin at that.
Egad, what I missed. Scary though. 
Charlie
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