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Topic: Every clusterhead's "dream"... (Read 326 times) |
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sandie99
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Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« on: Oct 23rd, 2006, 7:17am » |
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... facing family drama while in cycle. 
Next Sunday my aunt and four of my cousins with their families are coming over to mum's place for lunch. There will be 10 of us. 11, if my boyfriend makes it.
Now, the whole idea of inviting few members of the family begun when my boyfriend bought me tickets to a Pink concert (which is week from today). My boyfriend played with the idea that perhaps he could take few days off from work and we could spend some time at Helsinki. And mum thought then that perhaps this would be a good time for him to meet few of my relatives - after all, I have met quite many of his. But because there was this "if" element from the start, I told mum not to invite anyone over with the idea that they would meet my boyfriend; he might not get those days off.
Well, it turned out that due to several things (including new pets who cannot be alone for several days) my boyfriend cannot make it to the Sunday lunch; he'll arrive to Helsinki on Monday few hours before the concert. And my mum is, naturally, furious. TOO furious, if you ask me.
I, on my turn, understand both sides and I feel that mum wants to pressure me in this matter unnecessarily. I am aware that mum is not used to the fact that people do not do what she wants all the time. And I believe that she is still getting used to the fact that her only child is actually in a serious relationship now and part of her anger is due to that.
Now, those who think that she's mad because she has made lots of plans and cooked, etc. Nope; I'll be the one cooking everything - we did plan the menu together. She invited part of the people, I invited the rest. It was supposed to be just "meeting of the cousins", nothing more. I must admit that even I thought that nobody expected my boyfriend to be there; it just would be something extra. Now mum (why do I think that she's bit drama queen in here) talks about "horrific disaster" and "grande catastrophe". It's just, after all, one lunch!
I must have been complitely nuts when I said "yeah, let's invite few relatives over". Well, I wasn't in cycle then... After all, one of the quests is the aunt, who thinks that all of my ch hits are creations of my imagination and nothing more. Well, with the stress this silly lunch is now causing me, she might soon witness hits with high kip scale rate.  Or Sanna, who is doped up with caffeine. 
So, family, I'm looking for some suggestions here. I'm going to mention the Sunday once again to my boyfriend, although I know that the plans cannot be altered. I just hope for a relaxing weekend with mum and not one in which I have to walk in eggshells - I've done that enough in the past. I love mum, but she makes that difficult sometimes.
PF days to all,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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chewy
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Re: Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« Reply #1 on: Oct 23rd, 2006, 7:21am » |
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sailpappy
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Re: Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« Reply #2 on: Oct 23rd, 2006, 7:57am » |
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 After 35 years of Family Drama I can give you a small word of advise, Family drama is like Cluster Headaches!, they both are there, and you just have to deal with when the time arises!
In the end its your Family that will remain consistant and Omi-Important in your lives!
Thats my slant anyhow!  Pappy
 
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Langa
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Re: Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« Reply #3 on: Oct 23rd, 2006, 8:58am » |
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Quote:| I just hope for a relaxing weekend with mum and not one in which I have to walk in eggshells |
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Hey Pretty Girl, can't you just say that to your Mom?...sometimes just being honest about how you really feel works.
Good luck and hope you have a great weekend anywho...oh yeah, and enjoy Pink...I like her!
Love,
Langa
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pattik
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Re: Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« Reply #4 on: Oct 23rd, 2006, 9:29am » |
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I don't have much advice on the family interaction stuff, but you can make things go as smoothly as possible by getting as much meal preparation done in advance (while pf) as possible. That should take some pressure off when the guests arrive.
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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BB
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Re: Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« Reply #5 on: Oct 23rd, 2006, 9:43am » |
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If you are really sick with the whole thing
Then take one of these
Joking aside, just be honest with your mum and tell her exactly how you feel, she can whinge, she can complain ... but she will have to accept you and your wishes in the end if you stick to the gun, she is your mum anyway, she still loves you even when she is whinging.
Hugs
Annette
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Shaz
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Re: Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« Reply #6 on: Oct 24th, 2006, 9:16am » |
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Poor old you Sanna.
I can really understand how you feel. Always trying to do the right thing, then getting stuck in the middle.
I would just make up your mind you are going to have a good time regardless and how great it will be to see your relatives. You have already explained to your mum so just close your ears to her moaning. If she sees its not having any effect, hopefully she will just get on and enjoy herself too.
Tell your fella to spoil you rotten on Monday, then even if things are tense with the family, you will know you have something great to look forward to xxx
Shaz 
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jimmers
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Re: Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« Reply #7 on: Oct 24th, 2006, 10:32am » |
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Just remember. "You cannot be all things to all people"
Jimmers
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aprilbee
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Re: Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« Reply #8 on: Oct 24th, 2006, 11:54am » |
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I just went through something similar....I traveled to the Oregon coast with my mom....I love my mom, but any more than a Sunday is usually a little much and plus being in the middle of a cycle and telling my family that if they hear the shower on in the middle of the night that its me and not to be alarmed...its very hard being out of your element when in cycle....I even set off their fire alarm at 2:00 a.m. from all the steam in teh shower...it was aweful!
oops, didn't mean to hijack your post....Just know how you feel...hope it goes well and I agree with Langa, just let your mum know how you feel and I'm sure things will work out perfectly!
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sandie99
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Re: Every clusterhead's "dream"...
« Reply #9 on: Oct 26th, 2006, 4:55am » |
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Thanks, everyone. 
Mum seemed ok on Tuesday, so we'll see. I'm leaving for Helsinki within few hours and I honestly have no idea what to expect.
I have my ch arsenal ready and I must admit that I'm not worried about getting hit at all. If that spooks my relatives, then let it. Halloween is behind the corner anyway.
I'm more concerned about the conversations on Sunday. Although I've already faced my "enough" - moment, so if someone begins to act up, I have plenty of truth bullets on my belt. It might be refreshing for them to be shocked by me for change, suppose. I've put up with a lot from my family over the years, but we've had some great lunches as well and as far as I'm concerned, this one will be another good ones for the books. But it's good to be prepared for everything.
I wish I could tell it like it is to mum... she will listen, but the message just will not go through if it's not what she wanted to hear. So I'll be talking about nice things and do not mention Sunday too much. If she decides to hold my best supporter's absence against him... well, that's her loss. I already thought that I'd be in that situation in which mum respected me and my decisitions and life, but Monday proved me wrong.
April, it looks like your mum and mine have lost in common. I hope that things work out for the best for you and her.
Best wishes,
Sanna
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| « Last Edit: Oct 26th, 2006, 4:57am by sandie99 » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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