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Topic: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!! (Read 352 times) |
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BarbaraD
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NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!!
« on: Oct 10th, 2006, 7:41am » |
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NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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sandie99
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #1 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 8:24am » |
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 These are great. Thanks for the laughs! 
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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PollyPocket
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #2 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 8:27am » |
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oh I so needed this Barb!!! LOL
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened.  " - Tori
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Charlotte
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #3 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 9:07am » |
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lol - there was a recall on buyagra because of a rare side affect that turns frugal women into shopping addicts. If you took it and shopped for more than 4 hours, you should see a doctor.
Charlotte
**do not take this unless you are healthy enough to shop.
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Lizzie2
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #4 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 9:33am » |
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That Flipitor might just save my life as I commute to Philly every day! I don't ever flip the bird (well....I shouldn't say never....I have on one or two occasions, but only when they did it first!), but I have been known to shout, swear, and tailgate from time to time...all against my better judgement! I swear it was the road rage!
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aprilbee
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #5 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 10:12am » |
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Are these covered by Insurance?
LOL too funny! 
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seasonalboomer
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #6 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 10:18am » |
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on Oct 10th, 2006, 9:33am, Lizzie2 wrote:| That Flipitor might just save my life as I commute to Philly every day! I don't ever flip the bird (well....I shouldn't say never....I have on one or two occasions, but only when they did it first!), but I have been known to shout, swear, and tailgate from time to time...all against my better judgement! I swear it was the road rage! |
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Which reminds me a priceless moment a couple of weeks ago.
I'm pulling out of a gas station into stop and go and a lady looks as though she is letting me in and then starts to pull up to the side of my car as I'm pulling out and by the look on her and the expletives she was mouthing, I had presumed incorrectly. So, I was committed already and went ahead and pulled out to her disdain, and in my rear view mirror I see her as she has the bird in full extension. At this point I'm already laughing, but then as I pull far enough away I see her front license plate is an advertisement plate for the local christian music radio station.
oh, for a camera right then.
i laughed all the way home. she could of used the flipitor, or at least a few more novenas.
scott
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seasonal boomer
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Lizzie2
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #7 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 10:42am » |
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on Oct 10th, 2006, 10:18am, seasonalboomer wrote:
Which reminds me a priceless moment a couple of weeks ago.
I'm pulling out of a gas station into stop and go and a lady looks as though she is letting me in and then starts to pull up to the side of my car as I'm pulling out and by the look on her and the expletives she was mouthing, I had presumed incorrectly. So, I was committed already and went ahead and pulled out to her disdain, and in my rear view mirror I see her as she has the bird in full extension. At this point I'm already laughing, but then as I pull far enough away I see her front license plate is an advertisement plate for the local christian music radio station.
oh, for a camera right then.
i laughed all the way home. she could of used the flipitor, or at least a few more novenas.
scott
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Ha!! That IS a good one!! I never look over at other drivers and shout things, if that makes me look even a little bit better. Mainly I just get stressed that I'm gonna be late for work and start yelling in my car. If I would just leave earlier, then I wouldn't have to go through this every day!
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BB
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #8 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 11:01am » |
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on Oct 10th, 2006, 9:07am, Charlotte wrote:lol - there was a recall on buyagra because of a rare side affect that turns frugal women into shopping addicts. If you took it and shopped for more than 4 hours, you should see a doctor.
Charlotte
**do not take this unless you are healthy enough to shop. |
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Too late ! The doctor has already taken one herself and gone to KMart !  Surgery closed until further notice!
Annette
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LeLimey
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #9 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 11:40am » |
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Thanks for a really good laugh Barb, I frightened the dog!
Speaking of which, while Matt was here I had a run in with an obnoxious lady driver who doubted my parentage shall we say.. I merely shouted back "God Bless you" at which her BP reached catastrophic proportions. Most gratifying!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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BarbaraD
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #10 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 1:12pm » |
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on Oct 10th, 2006, 11:40am, LeLimey wrote:Thanks for a really good laugh Barb, I frightened the dog!
Speaking of which, while Matt was here I had a run in with an obnoxious lady driver who doubted my parentage shall we say.. I merely shouted back "God Bless you" at which her BP reached catastrophic proportions. Most gratifying! |
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That's a good one Helen. I put that up for future reference.
Like I always say -- Don't get Mad just Get EVEN!
Hugs BD
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alienspacebabe
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #11 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 2:20pm » |
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on Oct 10th, 2006, 7:41am, BarbaraD wrote:
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
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If you overdose, do you start shopping at Sax instead of Target?
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cynjeep89
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #12 on: Oct 10th, 2006, 4:59pm » |
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I'd like to put in my med order, please
2 orders of Flipitor - have to drive into the city tomorrow and Thursday (Lizzie....maybe I'll see ya on The Schuylkill?)
1 order of StMommasWort - will this work on neighborhood kids, too?
1 order of Peptobimbo - (just for fun) with a chaser of Menicillin just in case the Peptobimbo works too well.
You can hold the Dumberal - I like country music and pickup trucks.
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cootie
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Re: NEW Drugs
« Reply #13 on: Oct 11th, 2006, 1:18am » |
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Speakin of new meds.......I jus GOTTA ask this question.....what about that new lotion rub for men for INSTANT 'male enhancement I been seein advertised on tv........um.......it supposidly is rubbed on and casues a 'BIG' reaction instantly.......but um........what does it to to the other person it rubs off in ? Think about it.......grand canyon love Pam
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BB
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Re: NEW Drugs
« Reply #14 on: Oct 11th, 2006, 7:47am » |
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on Oct 11th, 2006, 1:18am, cootie wrote:| Speakin of new meds.......I jus GOTTA ask this question.....what about that new lotion rub for men for INSTANT 'male enhancement I been seein advertised on tv........um.......it supposidly is rubbed on and casues a 'BIG' reaction instantly.......but um........what does it to to the other person it rubs off in ? Think about it.......grand canyon love Pam |
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Mental picture came to mind .... , what if someone mistaken it for sunscreen and rub it on their nose ?
Annette
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Charlotte
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #15 on: Oct 11th, 2006, 8:33am » |
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Brew
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Re: NEW Drugs
« Reply #16 on: Oct 11th, 2006, 9:22am » |
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on Oct 11th, 2006, 7:47am, BB wrote:
Mental picture came to mind .... , what if someone mistaken it for sunscreen and rub it on their nose ?
Annette |
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Then they'd look like Owen Wilson.
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Sandy_C
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Re: NEW Drugs on the market. Ladies get yours now!
« Reply #17 on: Oct 11th, 2006, 1:50pm » |
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Let's see, I want the Damitol
Better make that order enough for , let's see - it works for 8 hrs, that means I need at least two per day, hmmm, how many years???? we'll goi for 40 (that would make me 100 yrs old, which works for me).
That means I need - (doing the math....2/day x 365 = 730/yr x 40 yrs = 29,200 doses) - OK 29,200 doses! Is this covered by insurance?
Sandy
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Lean on me when you're not strong
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