Author |
Topic: Torn, scared, crying (Read 571 times) |
|
sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender: 
Posts: 10429
|
 |
Torn, scared, crying
« on: Oct 5th, 2006, 11:39am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
I'm not sure what to think this very moment. I've been hit twice today, I feel sad, torn and scared. Too many emotions are running through me and I just had to post or I'd burst! 
You see, I feel guilty. My godson turns 11 on Saturday, but I haven't seen him for years. First I studied in London and lived miles away. Now I live closeby, but things have not changed; I still don't see him. I don't have a car, so I cannot visit him on my own, so I'd need someone to take me there. If I'd take a bus, I'd still need someone to pick me up. But it's okay, my godson's mother, who is also my first cousin and godaunt, has not invited me over and I'm not the kind of woman who would invite myself over. Sometimes I wonder that why they picked me to be a godaunt, when they don't want me to be part of my godson's life? Other than send cards and gifts, that is. It makes me sad because he's a precious little man and I want to be part of his life more than I am.
I feel torn. My boyfriend told me that he wants us to go to his sister's house tomorrow - so that he can see his nephew and godson. I'm terrified, because I'm not quite sure what his sister feels about me... I thought that she liked me, but then there was one occasion, which made me think that just because I'm part of my boyfriend's family, it doesn't mean that I'm part of hers as well. I know that she means the world to my boyfriend. I have no idea what I could do about this situation... I feel that I'm intruding. I always want to do the right thing and I have no idea what I should do about this... 
Naturally, being in cycle, I'd rather stay at my tiny room and deal with the devil on my own. The odds are that I'll get hit at my boyfriend's sister's, and I hate the idea. You can imagine what it must feel for them to see me getting hit! I haven't told them that much about ch... So it can be pretty scary. I don't even look at myself at the mirror when I'm getting hit. 
Somebody, help me stop these bloody tears...
Appreciating your advices,
Sanna
|
|
 IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
|
|
|
The mad viking
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
 
 
Gender: 
Posts: 3135
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #1 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 11:48am » |
Quote Modify
|
Only advice i can tell you is what my neurollogist told me.
"Try live as normal as possible"
Svenn
|
|
IP Logged |
Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
|
|
|
pattik
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 2404
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #2 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 11:49am » |
Quote Modify
|
Sanna, I'm sorry you're so torn about this. The word Godmother means different things to different people. For many, it is mostly just a lable with not much significance. In my case, I was made Godmother to my nephew. His family lives over a thousand miles away, they never visit or invite me (although I have visited anyway). They are not a very religious family either, so the function of Godmother to them is more of a legal issue, in case both parents were to die before their kids were grown. I found after a couple of years that there was no purpose served in taking offense about it.
Just stay in touch by mail, calls or whatever with your Godson as much as you can. Now that mine is an adult with kids of his own, he actually comes here almost yearly to visit. So just give it some time.
Patti
|
|
IP Logged |
The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
|
|
|
Mattrf
New Board Hall of Famer
Thank god for my wife and kids who keep me alive.
Gender:
Posts: 817
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #3 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 11:51am » |
Quote Modify
|
Hay Sanna, I really feel for you, I just got an email from my step-sister and she was complaining that they don’t see me and said that her two boys told her that they don’t remember what I look like and asked her if I was still part of the family. (OUCH!)
You know what you have not or at least try not to worry about what they think or do and just take care of yourself, take each day as it comes god knows none of us need the extra stress that some our families feel is necessary to dump on us.
As far as your boyfriends sister is concerned, if she loves her brother then she will except you and even if she does not he does and that is what matters the most.
Hang in there, you will get through this as will the rest of us.
Matt
|
|
IP Logged |
There is no stronger a person then one who can deal with brain pain and still function.
|
|
|
seasonalboomer
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
If I think hard enough maybe it'll go away.....
Gender:
Posts: 2248
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #4 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 11:54am » |
Quote Modify
|
i think i've only seen my godparents 4 times my entire life and i harbor no "absent godparent" issues........
here's a brightside.....maybe?.... you can think of yourself as more like a "fairy godmother" to him with the present visitation schedule.... (that's really trying to be funny and hopefully not taken the wrong way.)
scott
|
|
IP Logged |
-----------------------------------------------------
seasonal boomer
-----------------------------------------------------
|
|
|
jimmers
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Hello GOD! The gene pool needs some chlorine!
Gender:
Posts: 2092
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #5 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 12:00pm » |
Quote Modify
|
I would say go, and be yourself. If someone doesn't like something about you, its on them! You are not here to try to impress everyone in your life, the only person that matters is you and your boyfriend and what HE thinks of you. Trying to make everyone else happy all the time only leads to YOU not being happy. Go, have fun and be yourself, if she doesn't like it. To Bad!
You don't strike me as an insecure person, Us Clusterheads are the most secure people on the planet. Look at it this way: You deal with clusterheadaches all the time, these other things are minor details compared to that.
Dr. Phil 
|
|
IP Logged |
I don't suffer from INSANITY; I'm enjoying every minute of it!
|
|
|
maffumatt
Guest
|
we love you Sanna.
M
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
mynm156
New Board Hall of Famer
hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
Gender:
Posts: 1708
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #7 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 12:41pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Hey Sweetheart,
Thats a tough choice but I would at least try and call your Godsons parents to acknowlege his special day and maybe they would invite you at that time. I know that in preparing for things like that I forget things and Who I invited and who I didnt.
As far as your boyfriends family just be your normal Sweet, compasionate, funlovine self that you are and just hang on that boys arm if you have to. Now if some reason his sister doesnt not like you its her problem NOT YOURS! Just be yourself and I am sure that she will come around. Its probably a case of "NOONE IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY BROTHER" type thing.
I hope that helps ya Girl!
Your Brother in Pain
mynm156
|
|
IP Logged |
"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
|
|
|
TxBasslady
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Bass fishin' is a h00t It's the catchin' that sux
Gender:
Posts: 3201
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #8 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 12:46pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Vibes and best wishes for a better day, Sanna 
Never let CH determine how you spend your day...if you do, then the beast wins. ....don't let that happen.
Love,
Jean
|
|
IP Logged |
How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas! 
|
|
|
JeffB
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Wide open till you see God, then brake
Gender:
Posts: 2729
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #9 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 1:29pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Do what your heart says.
As far as your boyfriends sister goes........she can accept you or not, it's not your job in life to keep her happy!
|
|
IP Logged |
" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
|
|
|
FramCire
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Life like a froward child must be humored a little
Gender:
Posts: 847
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #10 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 1:37pm » |
Quote Modify
|
My best advice is to talk to your boyfriend about it and see what he thinks. Maybe he can talk to her for you? Maybe his sister wants you to make the effort to see him rather than them invite you?
All I can say is that you need to communicate with her and find out where you stand (even through an intermediary). Let her know you want to be more a part of his life but that you want to respect her and what she wishes.
I am so sorry you are going through this though. I will say a prayer that it all gets resolved. In the end family is still family (even if it is a boyfriend's family, they are still family (especially if you are the godmother).
May the day bring you joy, pF times, and a chance to see your godson. YOU DESERVE IT!
Eric
|
|
IP Logged |
You've overstayed your welcome since the day we met but it doesn't seem to matter to you. No medications are your master, nothing makes you fret, it's a helpless feeling having nothing I can do
|
|
|
imnotbub
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 702
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #11 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 3:03pm » |
Quote Modify
|
In my opinion you are giving it too much thought. You want to see your godson, go see him. You don't have to stay for dinner, just say hi.
Don't sweat your boyfriends sister either. Be yourself, don't try to impress or be politically correct. To be a part of his life, you have to be comfortable everywhere. If you're not, you're in for dissappointment and hurt. I never met you, but if you are anything like you come across in your posts, how can she help but like you.
Steve
|
|
IP Logged |
Life may not be good, but I think it beats the alternative, and if it doesn't, we'll find out soon enough
|
|
|
kcopelin
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
good grief
Gender:
Posts: 536
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #12 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 3:07pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Sanna
I am so sorry you're hurting right now. You've been such a positive and strong voice for compassion and love here on this board for so long...I'm praying that all these relationship issues will resolve-you would be an awesome godmother and a great influence for any child.
I didn't know you were back in cycle, sweetie. When did that happen-how did I miss that...praying this is a short cycle.
no matter what anyone elses' family members think-I think you rock!
LY
kathy
|
|
IP Logged |
Words count, chose carefully.
|
|
|
nani
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got kudzu?
Gender:
Posts: 7953
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #13 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 3:57pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Sanna, sweetie... you're a beautiful, wonderful and caring person. No one can ever take that away from you. I urge you to just be yourself, at all times, to all people. If someone chooses not to love you, it's their problem, and their loss. Go to your boyfriend's sister's house, have a great time...and if you get hit...go outside, or to the bathroom.
I am godmother to 2 of my nieces. One grew up 5 minutes away, the other hundreds of miles away. The most important part, for me anyway, was to always let them each know that I loved them unconditionally, was around if they needed me, and that they were very special to me. That can be done in person, by phone or through cards and letters. Do what you feel is right, and you absolutely can't go wrong.
much love, nani
|
|
IP Logged |
Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
|
|
|
Charlotte
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 1932
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #14 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 4:18pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Sanna, I'm with Nani, here. To know you is to love you. Anyone with that oportunity who passes - it is their problem and their loss.
Ask your boyfriend to go with you to see your godson, and if you need to be picked up, ask someone.
Also, please forgive the sister. She is only human and if she only made you uncomfortable once, just forgive & forget. Anyone can have a bad moment.
I love you. It is a privilege to know you, in this small way.
Charlotte
|
| « Last Edit: Oct 5th, 2006, 4:21pm by Charlotte » |
IP Logged |
|
|
|
sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender:
Posts: 10429
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #15 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 4:45pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Whooah, I've been hit 4 times today... so with the amount of caffeine in my blood right now, I'll be up for a while, so I decided to come back.
But in general I feel a lot better now. 
Thank you all for your advices & input. I'm grateful for your words of wisdom. This board is the perfect place to get more perspective on all issues.
I decided to be frank and I told my boyfriend & best supporter, that I'm bit scared about going to his sister's house. He told me not to worry about that. We're now going to visit his sister's house on Saturday. I've already mentally packed my ch survival kit. 
And my mum told me not to worry about my godson's birthday, either. I sent him little something; that's all I can do right now. Things will probably alter when I'll own a car one day/when he gets older.
Matt, I feel for you... I hope that things turn out great.
Scott, thanks for making me smile!
Jean, I have no intention to let the beast win.
Kathy, I've been in cycle officially since September 20th.
Charlotte, thank you so much! It's an honor to know you, too.
I wish everyone PF time.
Best wishes,
Sanna
|
|
IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
|
|
|
Bethany1
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Always do whatever's next.
Gender:
Posts: 1612
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #16 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 6:26pm » |
Quote Modify
|
((((((SANNA))))))
hang in there girl-
B
|
|
IP Logged |
I am sofa king we todd did.
crack is wack
|
|
|
Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Happy to be here
   
Gender:
Posts: 14968
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #17 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 7:34pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Sorry Sanna but you are not alone and you can always come here for a hard time. 
My cousin and family live less than two miles from me and I haven't been there since Christmas and the last time I saw him was about June 1st. They have no friends. Sad
Charlie
|
| « Last Edit: Oct 5th, 2006, 7:34pm by Charlie » |
IP Logged |
There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
|
|
|
Sean_C
Guest
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #18 on: Oct 5th, 2006, 10:27pm » |
Quote Modify
 Remove
|
I hope the beast gives you a little break Sanna during your trip. Most importantly try to have some fun
Cheers
Sean..............................
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
George_J
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
White-Breasted Nuthatch
Gender:
Posts: 4222
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #19 on: Oct 6th, 2006, 3:01am » |
Quote Modify
|
Hi Sanna,
Glad you're feeling a bit better about things--try not to let the "relatives" get you upset. There are always going to be some issues with in-laws and relatives, and some never get resolved--but, you know, other people's perceptions and issues are their problems, and shouldn't be yours. Just be yourself--no reasonable person could help but like you.
Your boyfriend's a great guy. I know he's on your side.
P.S.--so sorry to hear you're getting hit, still. I hate what this condition does to wonderful people.
Best always,
George
|
|
IP Logged |
Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
Wearing the tangerine suits
And their harlequin eyes.
The pain they inspire
Draws in harmonica melodies
And the feathers of birds
Which flame up at their touch.
It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
|
|
|
sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender:
Posts: 10429
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #20 on: Oct 6th, 2006, 4:01am » |
Quote Modify
|
New day... and I feel like crap. Got hit in the night, you know what it's like.
Sometimes I think that ch makes some tiny issues big problems. And sometimes it makes you forget to worry about other things because of the pain. I'm not sure which is worse...
But one just must keep on living.
PF days to us all,
Sanna
|
| « Last Edit: Oct 6th, 2006, 4:02am by sandie99 » |
IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
|
|
|
Jasmyn
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Each day will be a new trick in life's journey
Gender:
Posts: 2762
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #21 on: Oct 6th, 2006, 5:36am » |
Quote Modify
|
A Big Hug to you Girl!
|
|
IP Logged |
Jazz
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
|
|
|
Melissa
Guest
|
We are not Superwoman Sanna, nor do we have to be. I spent too many years trying to be everything to everyone and all it got me was a nervous breakdown.
Focus on yourself right now, remind yourself that "this will not kill me" and just remember that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
I know how depressed and pessimistic a person can get while in cycle, so boost those B vitamins sweetie and write me if ever you need someone to lean on, ok?
love you & hugs,
mel
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Fredmyyster
New Board Old Timer
SK8 2 Live !
Gender:
Posts: 282
|
|
Re: Torn, scared, crying
« Reply #23 on: Oct 6th, 2006, 8:00am » |
Quote Modify
|
(((((((((Sanna))))))) Wished i could take your hits for you....
|
|
IP Logged |
Have pump will travel...
Will work for Pools.
|
|
|
Carl_D
Guest
|
Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. Like others have said, all someone has to do is to get to know you a little bit to know you're a wonderful person.
Peace,
Carl
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss