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Topic: The Guys Rules (Read 227 times) |
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JeffB
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Wide open till you see God, then brake
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The Guys Rules
« on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 1:42pm » |
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The Guys Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the
guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just
not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine
... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as sports, the weather, or hunting.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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" It's been my experience that people who have no vices have very little virtues."
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echo
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Chronic and still alive --- I Win!
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Re: The Guys Rules
« Reply #1 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 1:50pm » |
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That deserves a "Hell Yea"!!
Hope the female of the species takes note.
edited to add that I personally think that of all those mentioned #1 is in fact, the most important point.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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jimmers
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Hello GOD! The gene pool needs some chlorine!
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Re: The Guys Rules
« Reply #2 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 2:09pm » |
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HELL YEAH!
1. If there is another girl at work you can't stand, KICK HER ASS! IF thats the kind of day that you had at work then I would be interested! 
Jimmers
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I don't suffer from INSANITY; I'm enjoying every minute of it!
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Charlotte
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: The Guys Rules
« Reply #3 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 2:22pm » |
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Anything said is null as soon as it's done being heard. Next time anything is said is all new. Plus, anything said is only valid if you are looking the guy straight in the eye, and only the first 3 words count.
Charlotte
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Jonny
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Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Re: The Guys Rules
« Reply #4 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 5:00pm » |
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on Sep 22nd, 2006, 1:42pm, JeffB wrote:
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. |
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LMMFAO!!!!!!! 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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BarbaraD
CH.com Alumnus
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Hugs to ya
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Posts: 5164
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Re: The Guys Rules
« Reply #5 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 5:36pm » |
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Women's RULE #12
When PMS is present, I'd suggest you run and hide cause ALL Rules are OFF!
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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Linda_Howell
CH.com Alumnus
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Hearing is one thing. Listening is another.
  
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Re: The Guys Rules
« Reply #6 on: Sep 22nd, 2006, 6:08pm » |
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Jeff? I would like to draw your attention to Thomas' thread a little farther down from this one. 
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Carl_D
Guest
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Why does a woman ask "Does my butt look big in this?"
I wouldn't advise answering, "Could you be more specific? In this room, this block or spacial existance? Do you really want to know the mass of your ass?"
You WILL get slapped. Don't ask how I know this.
Peace,
Carl
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