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Topic: Teenage girls, are they all this bad? (Read 800 times) |
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Mattrf
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Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« on: Sep 19th, 2006, 11:10am » |
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Ok so three and a half years ago my daughter started High School and wanted to be on the cheer team, so she made the team only to find out they sucked really bad and she had been on a competition team the year before but it got to expensive for us.
My wife stepped up and started helping with the coaching of the team that first year and they did get better, the next year the school was ready to let it die since the coach quit so again my wife stepped up so there would be a team for our daughter to be on. Last year they went to nationals and took second place, so this year all of a sudden my daughter decides she hates her mom and quits the team, so my wife says she will also quit and my daughter screams you can’t. WTF does she think my wife is doing it for?
My wife’s hart is broken, she put so much into this for our daughter and she literally does not give a shit about it or her mom’s feelings, my wife cried for three days straight.
The stunting coach that my wife hired is stepping up to coach the team and my wife is only going to be a adviser to finish out the contract with the school and the stunting coach was able to talk our daughter into staying on the team, witch relieved my wife but her hart is still broken and our daughter still could care less. She has also taken to lying and is mean to everyone around her and this happened in the last six months, before that she was the nicest girl and almost never lied, oh and she really sucks at lying so it is easy to tell. She also acts like she is entitled and should just have everything handed to her and we don’t know where the hell that came from, we have always been very involved in her life and tried to instill proper morals in her and she still goes to church every weekend and teaches the kindergarteners so she still does some good things but the cold look on her face when I told her she broke her mothers hart will never leave me.
So are all teenage girls this mean and unfeeling?
Matt
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Melissa
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #1 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 11:17am » |
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Unfortunately, many are Matt. I know I was when I was that young. 
It takes time for maturity, and to understand the love of a parent. Sounds like your daughter is going through the lovely rebellion stage. I'm very sorry.
hugs,
mel
BTW, it WON'T last forever and the morals you instilled in her will stay with her, they just won't be apparent for awhile. Teenagehood SUCKS and I am NOT looking foward to it with my own daughter! (she'll be 12 next month)
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| « Last Edit: Sep 19th, 2006, 11:20am by Melissa » |
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JeffB
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #2 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 11:23am » |
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Tough situation brother. Teens never appreciate how good they have it.
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #3 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 11:54am » |
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Matt-- It really does get better. My daughter is now 19 and matured extremely well. HOWEVER from the age of 14---to---18 she was a terror. She would act as if my wife and I were a total embarassment to her. When I went to her first teacher-parent high school meeting the head of the school ( a Nun ) told all the parents that they would see the transition from a teenage girl into a young Lady. I have to admit --she was 100% correct. Stay strong and remember that it will get much, much better.
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TxBasslady
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #4 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 11:59am » |
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on Sep 19th, 2006, 11:10am, Mattrf wrote:
So are all teenage girls this mean and unfeeling?
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Not all are like this....but it seems to be a phase nowdays.
To some teenagers, hearts are expendable. They get their priorities outta whack, and it seems that the parents are the one's who get hurt.
I was a teenager once.....many moons ago. In my generation, this sort of conduct was absolutely forbidden. My Dad was from the old school....and it was clear, yes crystal clear what was expected.
Alot of teenagers today are very much influenced by the company they keep.
She'll come around...she'll realize what she's done...
Noone can ever hurt you more than your child can.
Jean
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TxBasslady
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #5 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 12:03pm » |
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 LOL
Did ya know...."Gray hair is hereditary? We get it from our kids" !!!... 
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
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I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas!
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vietvet2tours
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #6 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 12:31pm » |
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It's how they break away my friend.
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imnotbub
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #7 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 12:59pm » |
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I have one son that is just emerging from the other side, but not quite, and another just heading in. It truly blows, but it definately ends. Be patient.
Steve
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cootie
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #8 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 1:39pm » |
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Yup....vietvet is correct-a-mundo.....it is PART of the weaning process for kids to 'get a mind of there own'.....even if it is a bad one. It is still part of the learning process of attempting just that and learning the ropes and what works and doesn't work......and the lieing even tho I HATE a serious lier is sort of part of the drill....they basically are learning what works as far as 'rite or wrong answer' at the apporpriate times to get what they want or get out of what they did. Did that make sense ?? I envy the shit out of people that have kids that don't do all that and stay CLOSEST friends and of course wouldn't lie to a best friend syndrone relationship. But when kids wanna do OTHER things they try to "learn" to get it one way or the other. And the more they lie the worse they seem to get for a while at least. Then they grow up to be good responsible adults and leave us LESS for the wear and tear !! I'm still not over all the crap my daughter did when at home (and then sum) and she is in her early 30's !!!! I think if it is possible it'd be best to TALK out lies and find out what caused them and discuss it big time but most don't have time to keep doin that. The lies come faster then the truth Pam
Kids are born greedy.......but then they are basically given a home and food and stuff and whatever they want in alot of cases.....they have to LEARN to care and learn NOT to be selfish.....that is probly there hardest job !!
Opps......a big I'm sorry to vietvet.....I thought one name and typed in anuther......got it fixed tho !! Sorry again !!
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| « Last Edit: Sep 19th, 2006, 9:16pm by cootie » |
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rickyshot
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #9 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 1:56pm » |
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Honey you got it good. Yeah most teens are that way. They get empathy in their 20's again. Believe me you will see it and weep for joy. I raised 3 by myself and my daughter was worse than the 2 boys put together. She got outlaw tatooted on her arm. Does that tell you anything?
This generation has a big sense of entitlement and go crazy when the world does not agree with them. They are not prepared for real life, thanks to a million different reasons.
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sandie99
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #10 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 3:25pm » |
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Well... I wasn't. I kept my emotions inside and that was probably easier to my parents, but harder for me. 
Sanna
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The mad viking
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #11 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 3:35pm » |
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on Sep 19th, 2006, 12:03pm, TxBasslady wrote: LOL
Did ya know...."Gray hair is hereditary? We get it from our kids" !!!...
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Thanks for the tip Jean
Have said it all the time that all my grey hair is bc my sons .
Somehow Bente wont agree with me there
Svenn
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #12 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 3:38pm » |
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Sorry for the truobles Matt. We're not all bad. Yeah we have our off days but once they're over things are back to normal. No offence but sounds like your kid needs to be givin some tough love. Next time she wants to go some where tell her no. Let her know that you're still in charge while she's living under your roof. After about a week of that, even the toughest of kids will break. Trust me. I know it seems harsh but some times it has to be done. Just make sure she knows why you're doing it and that she is still loved.
Always,
Felicia 
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #13 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 3:40pm » |
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OMG!!! I just sounded like my father! AAAAHHHH!!! 
Always,
Felicia
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Mattrf
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #14 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 4:34pm » |
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on Sep 19th, 2006, 3:40pm, Daddys_Devil wrote:OMG!!! I just sounded like my father! AAAAHHHH!!!
Always,
Felicia |
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Oh yes the senior moment.
I say that a lot now and hate it every time.
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Mrs_R
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #15 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 4:41pm » |
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My son is 17 so I am still going through it, and am a single parent - oh to be 17 again and to know it all!!! To be fair he is beginning to have the odd 'human' day, which keeps me hoping that eventually I will get my son back lol!!!
Kids send you to the extreme's of emotion - but you just have to keep loving them!
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no-one
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #16 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 4:45pm » |
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Felicia----- 
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Sandy_C
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #17 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 4:49pm » |
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Not all are, Matt, but unfortunately many are - including my oldest daughter. I had two girls, 23 months apart. They were little darlings for the most part - until the first one hit high school. The first year wasn't too bad, but starting her sophmore year, she became the biggest b***h you would every not want to know. Lied - constantly - and she wasn't very good at it either.
In her Junior year, her younger sister began her high school years. The oldest really got nasty then - at her own sister. They were the worst enemies and fought constantly. When the oldest left for college - life was good. Now, she's 30, married, home, career and she's a wonderful person.
Hang in and hang on, because it does get better.
Oh, and BTW, the younger daughter was much easier to handle because she saw what a mess her older sister had made and learned from it. She, too is a responsible adult now.
Sandy
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George_J
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #18 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 5:46pm » |
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Mine's pretty okay so far, but she's still a teenager, with all that entails.
One of our closest friends was over for dinner the other day with her family. She's an education specialist, was a teacher for many years, and now is a consultant in education. She talked for quite a while about the new brain research that indicates that the prefrontal lobe--the portion of the brain that helps us to understand the consequences of our actions and enables us to "think things through"--isn't completely activated until our early twenties. The kids, of course, listened to all this with rapt attention.
Ever alert (as most teenagers are) to anything resembling a slight, a slander, or an opportunity, El's now taken to telling me--"I know that look. You're thinking that part of my brain is still offline".
She's right, too. Although I see occasional glimpses of the woman she'll be. She surprises me (pleasantly) sometimes.
Bottom line is--I think your daughter will come around. Give it time.
Best wishes,
George
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| « Last Edit: Sep 19th, 2006, 10:02pm by George_J » |
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Guiseppi
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #19 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 6:36pm » |
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My girls are 22 and 20 now, angels in their own rights and the light of my life. But OMG the teen years! A lot of it is love, a lot of it is luck. Make sure there are no chemical issues, the sudden change worries me! Then hang on, survive the ride and wait till she comes out the other end of the ride and loves you again!
Guiseppi
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #20 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 9:19pm » |
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In a word - YES! Will they grow out of it - again yes!
Hang in there it won't last forever and remember this Grandchildren are our best revenge!
Carol
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Charlotte
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #21 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 9:58pm » |
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I asked my daughter, 17, if all teenage girls were a pain in the ass, and she said, yes, all teenagers are a pain in the ass, then she said, "What! You think I'm a pain in the ASS!"
lol
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George_J
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #22 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 10:01pm » |
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on Sep 19th, 2006, 9:58pm, Charlotte wrote:I asked my daughter, 17, if all teenage girls were a pain in the ass, and she said, yes, all teenagers are a pain in the ass, then she said, "What! You think I'm a pain in the ASS!"
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That's it exactly, Charlotte. Boy, is that familiar.
George
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
Wearing the tangerine suits
And their harlequin eyes.
The pain they inspire
Draws in harmonica melodies
And the feathers of birds
Which flame up at their touch.
It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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nani
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #23 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 10:11pm » |
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on Sep 19th, 2006, 11:10am, Mattrf wrote: she literally does not give a shit about it or her mom’s feelings, my wife cried for three days straight.
her hart is still broken and our daughter still could care less. She has also taken to lying and is mean to everyone around her and this happened in the last six months, before that she was the nicest girl and almost never lied, oh and she really sucks at lying so it is easy to tell.
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Some of that sounds normal, Matt. But if you notice a big personality change in a 6 month period, that could be a cause of some concern. Keep an eye on her. Has she changed friends? Has she stopped doing things she used to love? How are her grades?
These could be signs of trouble, so stay alert.
Already raised 2, raising 2 more...
my sympathies, LOL, nani
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Mosaicwench
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Re: Teenage girls, are they all this bad?
« Reply #24 on: Sep 20th, 2006, 10:34am » |
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brew and I have a 14 year old boy (going on 35, but that's a different story). I can only imagine how bad girls are if 14 year old boys are this bad . . . .
I told him yesterday that if he didn't rejoin the human race very soon I would not be responsible for my actions . . . .
They want so badly to be adults but are still kids at heart, plus throw in a gallon or so of hormones and it's a wonder any of us make it to adulthood without our parents killing us.
My son did something similar to the cheerleading example. He encouraged me to become the Secretary of our Little League - BIG job, largest Little League in our state.
I got elected for a two year term and he then says he doesn't want to play ball anymore . . . . . my two year term ends on the 30th of this month and then I'm finally free.
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