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Topic: Ready To Collapse... But Can't (Read 186 times) |
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Carl_D
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Full day at work. Will not type it out again, just read my post in 'could use some vibes'.
In my misery tonight, I went to see my bass player from long ago play tonight. This was the band I jammed with a few weeks ago. I did a song, but left early worn out. I told him, I am desperate - I need a gig or I am dead. He made me look him in the eye and told me "I will help you through this."
This same bro, fired me exactly 8 years ago from a band I helped him form, after I went chronic.
Being bros, it hurt like a motherfukka, but I can differentiate business from personal. After I went into remission this year we got together and, he is on board for "BLACK BLIZZARD" should I ever find a vocalist (the band is set, just need an Ozzy emulator).
I may be doing a different gig - but as long as it is with a bro who GETS IT (Finally you fucker) I may be okay.
I just feel like if I don;t do something now, I never will. I know my life will not be long. I just know. I also know that I want to LIVE every fucking moment I'm alive.
I talked to Alchemy (Jim) for a bit tonight when I got home, and I told him about the song "Creep" from Stone Temple Pilots where it says "I'm half the man I used to be". I may be fucked up and going through alot, but I will make it one way or another fighting for every breath because "I'm TWICE the man I used to be!"
Not selling my baby. Never. A kidney and both testes go first! I said long ago I want to be buried or cremated with my Jackson. I will do everything in my power to make it so.
Godspeed... time for a Rip-Fuel drink before bed... and possibly a blog since I have neglected my precious myspace for a week or more and folks there are emailing me worried. I must say, I have been blessed with alot of reunions this year. I have ran into people and rekindled friendships from long ago - but not everyone knows how far down this rabbit hole has gone.
Peace,
Carl
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Carl_D
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Re: Ready To Collapse... But Can't
« Reply #1 on: Sep 16th, 2006, 3:04am » |
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Hey Pat, you mentioned sending peeps here to kick my ass if I consider selling my guitar and giving up music. I ran into 2 bros tonight who were ready to thrash me on the spot for even thinking it - but they UNDERSTOOD.
Did it really take this long to sink in? 
Peace,
Carl
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