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Topic: I Guess It Couldn't Hurt To Ask... (Read 299 times) |
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Carl_D
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I Guess It Couldn't Hurt To Ask...
« on: Sep 15th, 2006, 3:03pm » |
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For a few vibes and prayers this way as well.
I'm having a rough go of it as of late, and pretty much had a nervous breakdown this week. As some of you know, I work with someone with a brain injury and it can be very challenging at times. He is a good guy, but can become psychotic and delusional.
He has been getting a little 'crazy' lately and a couple of months ago attacked his stepdad who had to subdue him. We had an altercation this week and... I came very close to quitting. The dude is 6' 4" and 250lbs, and I told his mother that I don't know if I would be able to subdue him if he comes after me. The only thing I would be able to do is knock his ass out. Understanding full well what is happening, she told me to do whatever I have to do. You do not know how nervous this has made me. I can't say anything beyond that, but we had a talk today, as he had found out I have been ill the past few days (he doesn't know all the details) and I am just hoping things work out.
It fucks me up too. I'm pretty much having a breakdown over my own personal struggles, and bitch about the fact I am 36 and haven't done anything musically in ages...
This dude can;t even leave his fucking house without assistance, and things will not improve for him. He was hit by a bus when he was 18. He is now 25. I try to keep him motivated and up and around, as he tends to be lazy, and it is like babysitting an adult kid.
So yeah, this is one incident that led to my breakdown this week and I am scared to death to lose this job. I was sick enough I didn't come in on wednesday and, I haven't even blogged or anything like I normally do this week. Aside from a great concert with friends last night, I've pretty much been a basket case getting nervous and throwing up, getting the shakes, etc. I feel like Scott Weiland after a weekend at Courtney Love's!
Just trying to keep things together here, and I swear if one more person calls me Syd Barratt again this week I'll...
Peace,
Carl
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Guiseppi
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Re: I Guess It Couldn't Hurt To Ask...
« Reply #1 on: Sep 15th, 2006, 3:11pm » |
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Are you allowed to carry OC spray? Cheap, not regulated at all in California, non toxic but very effective for short term control. I don't envy you, people who care for disabled of his ilk require the patience of a saint!
Guiseppi
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ShariRae
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Re: I Guess It Couldn't Hurt To Ask...
« Reply #2 on: Sep 15th, 2006, 11:14pm » |
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Carl..
You have a good heart..and this is indeed a difficult situation..but you will do the right thing when & if you have to...just keep in mind..you cant take care of HIM until you take care of YOU first...be good to yourself & allow yourself to feel all you are feeling....blog...rock out..scream..yell...whatever it takes...then get back to it..one hour at a time..one day at a time...
Hang in there
Much love
Shari
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Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
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Dragnlance
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Re: I Guess It Couldn't Hurt To Ask...
« Reply #3 on: Sep 15th, 2006, 11:16pm » |
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Carl,
Not only do you have my positive vibes headed your way, you have my utmost respect. 
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chewy
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Re: I Guess It Couldn't Hurt To Ask...
« Reply #4 on: Sep 15th, 2006, 11:25pm » |
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Quote:| The only thing I would be able to do is knock his ass out. |
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I wish you all the luck in the world accomplishing that with 6' 4" and 250lbs man during a psychotic break.
You better have a big heavy shovel in your hands.
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nani
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Re: I Guess It Couldn't Hurt To Ask...
« Reply #5 on: Sep 15th, 2006, 11:29pm » |
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Careful, Carl. Did your job give you any restraint training? If he's got a frontal lobe injury, he could get very violent. It's not really a psychotic break, but just as dangerous. I think you should check with your employer and find out what the policy is. Keep a phone handy in case you need help.
vibes and prayers, nani
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Carl_D
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Re: I Guess It Couldn't Hurt To Ask...
« Reply #6 on: Sep 16th, 2006, 2:49am » |
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Okay, head is foggy but will try to answer individually without direct quoting (me hurts a bit right now)
Today was a bit of a cathartic day, as I sat in the living room with my client before 4pm watching court TV. I was kicked back in the recliner, and started dosing.
My client has seen me coming out of an attack, never going into one. I got hit and he seen me full blown. It did not freak him out. It fucked him up. We talked a bit afterward.
Guis... I don't carry any sprays or anything, and never felt the need to up til now. I still don't feel the need.
Yes Chewy, he is a big guy. I know. I have had to pick him up when he falls. If he were to overcome me... after what happened to me a few weeks ago, I have no fear of any man. He can have the insane power, but I also have this adrenaline that I never knew existed. I will handle myself.
Nani, I jumped into this job earlier this year when the situation came up, and his stepdad is a personal friend of mine I have known since I was 12. My first 'working' experience with him was at a group home back in 1990 working for Residential Services of Madison County. I worked in a group home of 4 adults disabled developementally or physically. It was very trying at times.
I don;t have any 'current' training, but am experienced in some Jeet Kung Do, Tai Chi and have been working out alot this year and studying some kickboxing.
To be honest, I was desperate for a job and this came along. I have total confidence in what I am doing because when it comes to disabled people, I have maybe a clearer understanding than some. You see, to alot of people - I AM disabled.
If I live only two more years, it will NOT be under that label any longer. I want no pity, no sympathy - just understanding. I;m one of the few left asking 'what's so wrong with peace love and..."
Peace,
Carl
PS - Today was just a day of checking my name, checking my head... I've heard more joy from some... some are dead. I am determined to reap as much joy as I can in such a miserable existence. 
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