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Topic: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equallity (Read 264 times) |
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Tiannia
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Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equallity
« on: Aug 31st, 2006, 11:55am » |
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12 Differences Between Women And Men
1.NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 , even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
6. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
7. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
8. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change , and she does.
10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11. OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
12. MISTAKES
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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maffumatt
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #1 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 11:59am » |
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LMAO nice one.......
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paulc
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #2 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 2:09pm » |
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Womens have their own language. "Its that time of month" translates into "You're not getting any tonight" (which can mean anything from dinner to sex and "that time of month" can last anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of months-better stop here before SHE reads this and I get into trouble  ).
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Paul C
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sandie99
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #3 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 2:18pm » |
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I like this one a lot. 
Thanks, Tia. 
Best wishes,
Sanna
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Tiannia
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #4 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 2:53pm » |
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The Language of Womanish will never be effectivly translated so that men can understand it.
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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tanner
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #5 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 2:54pm » |
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Ok Tia, With the exception of # 10 and .............
ok with the exception of # 10 I will concede this one as is. I happen to love to go out to shows , concerts , art museums , good restaurants and hence I love to get dressed up!!!
btw; the little darlins thing was a test did ya know you can leave a bottle with the valet and walk in and out for fresh air.
....kinda trashy hood tho....Tim
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Sandy_C
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #6 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 3:02pm » |
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Thanks, Tia! I love it. Needed a nice Thursday chuckle on a rainy afternoon!
Sandy
PS - I'm e-mailing this one to my husband
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paulc
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #7 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 3:07pm » |
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SOME women are like bad whiskey, though I don't remember why...too much bad whiskey I guess; did the valet keep your wine or your date?
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Paul C
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tanner
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #8 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 3:13pm » |
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on Aug 31st, 2006, 3:07pm, paulc wrote:| SOME women are like bad whiskey, though I don't remember why...too much bad whiskey I guess; did the valet keep your wine or your date? |
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paul, no fair rubbing it in just because you live in a country where you don't have to hide in the industrial sections of town to enjoy what comes naturally
and no wine!!! ya see the mixers are free with admission 
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I AM THE MASTER OF MY MIND, MY BODY, AND MY EMOTIONS...
it's just my head that sucks...http://www.centerforlit.com/
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Charlie
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #9 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 5:24pm » |
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Good stuff Tiannia!
Remote: Women use a remote to see what's on.
Men use a remote to see what else is on. 
Charlie
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PL259
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #10 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 6:42pm » |
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on Aug 31st, 2006, 2:53pm, Tiannia wrote:| The Language of Womanish will never be effectivly translated so that men can understand it. |
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Let us hope that is so.
If I ever understand why women have so many shoes, nylons, items in the bathroom, etc,
Just go ahead and put me out of my misery! LOL
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Mosaicwench
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #11 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 8:07pm » |
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My 14 year old son made German potato salad last night. I told him he would make some woman very happy someday and he would earn good hubby points by cooking.
Hubby imparted the additional MALE wisdom that not only is it important for a husband to cook, but more importantly to know WHEN to cook!
I thought that was quite insightful even though it went over the 14 year old's head!
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ClusterChuck
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #12 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 9:00pm » |
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on Aug 31st, 2006, 2:53pm, Tiannia wrote:| The Language of Womanish will never be effectivly translated so that men can understand it. |
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Does anyone wonder why I finally admitted I am gay?
WIMMINZ!! SHEESH!!!
Ya can't live WITH them, but I sure as hell CAN live WITHOUT them!!
 
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"No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy."
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paulc
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #13 on: Aug 31st, 2006, 9:00pm » |
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on Aug 31st, 2006, 3:13pm, tanner wrote:
paul, no fair rubbing it in just because you live in a country where you don't have to hide in the industrial sections of town to enjoy what comes naturally
and no wine!!! ya see the mixers are free with admission |
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Oh we have wine as well-we grow the grapes on land that we reclaimed using dykes !
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Paul C
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deltadarlin
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #14 on: Sep 1st, 2006, 7:48am » |
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on Aug 31st, 2006, 6:42pm, PL259 wrote:
Let us hope that is so.
If I ever understand why women have so many shoes, nylons, items in the bathroom, etc,
Just go ahead and put me out of my misery! LOL |
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And just where did you intend to sleep tonight?
'darlin
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Tiannia
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Re: Men vs Women - No man bashing, this is equalli
« Reply #15 on: Sep 1st, 2006, 10:26am » |
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on Sep 1st, 2006, 7:48am, deltadarlin wrote:
And just where did you intend to sleep tonight?
'darlin |
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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