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Topic: Going through wierdness (Read 196 times) |
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superhawk2300
New Board Old Timer
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Going through wierdness
« on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 11:05pm » |
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Hey all,
I was wondering if anyone else got something like this after being diagnosed......
Today,after reading a posters description of a hit in thier current cycle, it occured to me that I'd forgotten my CH. In between the arguing over Iraq, sharing congradulations of new babies, found pets and birthdays, and career victories and setbacks I'd forgetten my "disaease".
This is the first time I'd been reminded that I have clusterheadaches and I thought about it between cycles, only being diagnosed two cycles ago. It brings up the strangest feeling in me,realizing that soon, I too shall dance with the beast, and that "all those other times" wern't just sinus headaches and I might never get them again.
In a way I feel lucky, I mean, Im not in cycle. But in another way feeling as good as I do now (and I feel fucking great) only highlights what it too be.
I'm not obsessing on it, or worshiping the wound, but I did notice I wasa little depressed, inthe back of my mind lately, even though I really feel wonderful.
The day is warm and sunny with a light, sweet breeze coming from the direction where black storm clouds are gathering as they start to spark.
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cootie
New Board Hall of Famer
sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
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Re: Going through wierdness
« Reply #1 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 11:24pm » |
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Brad used to get on my case for being on here too much after he went out of cycle for a while. (usually on here later in the eves when stuff is done). Seems he kinda "forgot"........but he's cool with it now and realizes what he has and that it can and will come back 'sumday'. He was just too much into bein 'over it'. It's not always over when it's gone Pam
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Charlotte
CH.com Alumnus
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: Going through wierdness
« Reply #2 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 11:45pm » |
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I feel wierdness, because I always would say, "It won't kill me." Well, it has morphed out of the ch box into something else, and everything I used to know, I no longer know, and I didn't know what I thought I knew.
That's just always in the back of my mind.
What I meant to say was the support & commaradarie are a lifeline to me, and the ability to forget pain & relieve some suffering with a laugh or a tear is truly wonderful.
Charlotte
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| « Last Edit: Aug 23rd, 2006, 12:02am by Charlotte » |
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TxBasslady
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Bass fishin' is a h00t It's the catchin' that sux
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Re: Going through wierdness
« Reply #3 on: Aug 23rd, 2006, 2:40am » |
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IMHO the worse thing anyone can do is stress and worry over the CH. I used to do it....and I wasted alot of time asking "why me." The more I stressed the worse the CH got.
This board and this family opened my eyes. There's always someone who has it far worse than I. There's so much pain here...and sometimes if we can stop and look around us...we'll realize how important it is to make good use of our PF time.
I think about the small kids with CH. It's just not fair that they suffer....and it breaks my heart. 
That's enough to get me off the pity pot...I can't imagine how these Mom's and Dad's deal with their small child and CH. They do it though...and I have nothing but love and admiration for them.
Enjoy the PF time....and hope that you can make a difference for someone who's in pain. If just one word..or one post makes a difference to just one who suffers....it's well worth it.
Much love,
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas! 
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Yorky
CH.com Alumnus
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learn to meditate (or just sit & do nowt)
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Re: Going through wierdness
« Reply #4 on: Aug 23rd, 2006, 4:07am » |
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just a few lines from a pink floyd song...
and you run and you run to catch up with the
sun ,but it's sinking,
racing around to come up behind you again,
the sun is the same in a relative way,but your older,
shorter of breath,but 1 day closer too death.
it might not be relavant to you but to me,that sun's the beast,and i dont ever want him ,to come up behind me no more.but he will.
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today is a gift.....thats why it is called the
present.
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George_J
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Re: Going through wierdness
« Reply #5 on: Aug 23rd, 2006, 11:11am » |
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on Aug 23rd, 2006, 2:40am, TxBasslady wrote:IMHO the worse thing anyone can do is stress and worry over the CH. I used to do it....and I wasted alot of time asking "why me."
This board and this family opened my eyes. There's always someone who has it far worse than I. There's so much pain here...and sometimes if we can stop and look around us...we'll realize how important it is to make good use of our PF time.
I think about the small kids with CH. It's just not fair that they suffer....and it breaks my heart.
That's enough to get me off the pity pot...I can't imagine how these Mom's and Dad's deal with their small child and CH. They do it though...and I have nothing but love and admiration for them.
Enjoy the PF time....and hope that you can make a difference for someone who's in pain. If just one word..or one post makes a difference to just one who suffers....it's well worth it.
Much love,
Jean
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Can't improve on that. Well said. I feel the worst for those who are new to this--I remember the confusion and fear of confronting this thing for the first time. Or the first ten times. Yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones too.
Best,
George
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
Wearing the tangerine suits
And their harlequin eyes.
The pain they inspire
Draws in harmonica melodies
And the feathers of birds
Which flame up at their touch.
It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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Carl_D
Guest
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Re: Going through wierdness
« Reply #6 on: Aug 24th, 2006, 1:09pm » |
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The few months I had in remission I did everything I could to not think about it and try to cram it back into the cobwebs of my cranium, but it always seemed to linger near the forefront to remind me...
Peace,
Carl D
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