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Topic: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!! (Read 355 times) |
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Carl_D
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It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!!
« on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 5:25am » |
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My last attack was on friday. Like autuer with a price on his head, I have tried to take it easy and avoid that would amplify the situation.
My last attack was friday before noon. All day today (monday) thought "Wow, maybe I am back to episodic and it is over!!!"
Almost 3 days in between... Got hit tonight so fierce I don't know it is worse, or I just forgot.
I was so excited thinking maybe I am an eppy again.
3 days later.... a very profound kip 10 for over an hour which...
I have no words. Either this ends or I do. Been through enough of this shit through the years, and the next time my life gets torn apart... tonight was humiliating to the extreme and I'll say no more. I'm tired of it.
I'd better stfu before I really get too deep.
To qoute Slipknot Duality - "If the pains goes on, I'm not GONNA MAKE IT!"
I'll stop here before I whine, complain, tell you how bad I have it... and then tell anyone giving me shit to blow me then eat a maggot.
Seems preferal to my day - start off determined and have my head chopped of midway, with knees to follow. Since waking up friday afternoon I have had little sleep... and after several Frovas - still scared to lie down though my day begins in 3 hours. Can you say exhaustion? I can top ya, I can show it.
Everyone was laughing about the bags under my eyes last night. I would have found it funnier if SOMEONE ELSE WERE CARRYING THIS FUCKING LUGGAGE!!!
I'd go into detail... But I feel like some people have lives and like to avoid this shit while not dealing directly.
What the fuck in life did I ever do to deserve even one of these? I'd rather have my nuts chewed off by badgers while listening to Lawrence Welk.
My greatest desire in life right now is: to breathe another minute" since my life has been fuck anway...
Now tired enough to attempt sleep.
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chopmyheadoff
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #1 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 5:29am » |
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feel for you bro-
your not alone - dont let the bastard grind you down
chop
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E-Double
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #2 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 6:22am » |
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Go play you axe.
Go meet a pretty lady.
Go look at a picture of your niece and nephew.
Go potty ( ya paying attention?)
Go get a kick in the a$$ bud and think of the future.
The pain sucks.....WE all now this.
I'll tell you this though it doesn't compare to the pain of seeing your little baby suffer when new problems develop or docs aren't listening well enough.
Back to you......
Go write something special
Go to the extreme to persist
Go to sleep
Go to work
Go!
Don't stop!!!!
You are doing fine!!!!
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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mynm156
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #3 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 8:04am » |
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POUR IT INTO THE AXE BROTHER!!!!
GOOD VIBES!
MYNM156
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"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
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Charlotte
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #4 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 8:37am » |
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sorry, Carl.
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Summerbabe
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #5 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 9:08am » |
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Hey Carl  when life pulls on your last strings, tie a knot, and swing....hang in there I know the desperation you feel, we all do, but you need to hold on and this too will pass, wishing you pleasant slumber my friend. I was too where you are and in remission now, never thought it would come, my kip was unbearable. But I made it, I am here and sleeping and enjoying my life now. It will happen for you, just please hang tight.  We ar here for you and please keep us posted...all my best , Summer 
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cootie
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Oh shit I mean NO!!!
« Reply #6 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 9:09am » |
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Really sorry to hear the 'pain in the ass' is back........just try to keep on keepin on and hang onto what ya got.......don't loose that job and let the dark side win. Wishin you PF any second now Pam
Don't slip and curl up in a ball......gotta stay strong. Yeah....listen to me.....not sure I could do it myself. But you've done it before I haven't.
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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nani
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #7 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 10:05am » |
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Carl, you KNOW that you can do this. Yeah, I know, you shouldn't have to (none of us should), but you CAN. You already know that there are none tougher than us, and that we can muddle through no matter how bad it gets.
You gotta keep that chin up, honey. For all of us. 
love, hugs and pf wishes, nani
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imnotbub
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #8 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 10:13am » |
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Carl, this pain is awfull. No getting around it. Very few in this world deserve it (yes, I believe that there are those in this world that do, but unfortunately they probably don't know what it's like). There is too much good and wonder in the world, experiences to be had, people to meet, to allow the pain to take over and rule. I guess it's easier for me to say in that I don't deal with it nearly as much as you do, but I really believe it. How much less would your niece and nephew have if you weren't there for them? On a selfish note, I would feel cheated if I were not to have the oportunity someday to hear you play.
If you have noticed, I usually avoid making posts like this, as I wonder if it is my place to 'go there', but your post touched me and I felt compelled.
Stay well, cherish the painfree time. We're here.
Steve
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #9 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 11:07am » |
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OK Carl. Would playing a little music distract you for a while?
If so, Let's jam.
Humor works for me some times.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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paulc
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #10 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 11:16am » |
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Carl, your last few posts, starting last week, have me worried. We don't know each other, but what you have been writing sounds as if you are deeply depressed and perhaps thinking of suicide. I BEG YOU to see a mental health counselor or psychiatrist and get some help with what sounds like a worsening depression. Remember, CHs are not called suicide headaches for no reason. Please, please go and see someone who can help treat what sounds like a serious depression. There are free clinics all over if you don't have money-I hope that I am wrong, but get checked out.
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Paul C
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Yorky
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #11 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 11:37am » |
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hope thing's improve big fella..
and you will make it through.
you and all of us will.
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today is a gift.....thats why it is called the
present.
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DonnaHar
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #12 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 11:52am » |
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Carl....we've (known) each other for more than a couple of years now and we know that there are really, really bad times and some not so really really bad....just (one really) bad. Am I making sense? I don't know about anyone else, but I know what I am trying to say.
You've made it through before and you will do it again.
Just hang on to the end of that rope that we are all holding you up with. One for the CHipper's, Carl.
Donna H.
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Charlie
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #13 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 4:42pm » |
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Rats Carl. The beast is a heartless prick.
What did you do to deserve this horror, you ask? Not a damned thing. It's the question isn't it?
Hang on Carl and keep ranting.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Brew
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #14 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 4:46pm » |
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on Aug 22nd, 2006, 11:07am, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:
Hey - It's Jaco in the latter, New York City playground basketball days using a coffee table as a bass.
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superhawk2300
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #15 on: Aug 22nd, 2006, 10:52pm » |
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Hang on man.
Keep venting if it helps - Remember: "I won't this build up inside me".
Jamey
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Patrick_A
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #16 on: Aug 23rd, 2006, 1:53pm » |
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Do ya ever wish ya had the POWER to wish one of those on somebody else? Gawd, I have!
Patrick
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superhawk2300
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #17 on: Aug 23rd, 2006, 6:26pm » |
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Quote:Do ya ever wish ya had the POWER to wish one of those on somebody else? Gawd, I have!
Patrick |
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Yeah, that and explosive diarrhea!
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Carl_D
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Re: It's.... It's.... Yes!.... Oh shit I mean NO!!
« Reply #18 on: Aug 24th, 2006, 1:03pm » |
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on Aug 23rd, 2006, 1:53pm, Patrick_A wrote:Do ya ever wish ya had the POWER to wish one of those on somebody else? Gawd, I have!
Patrick |
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I used to say I wouldn't wish CH on my worst enemy.
However, it IS possible I have become a bit evil over time, as I have wished them, if only for a day - on a few jerkmoronderelictcrackheads.
Say that ten times fast.
I'm doing okay. Getting hit sporadically but when I do, batter fucking UP! Have had a few Kip 10's that made me half nuts - which means, I'm all the way there now! LOL.
Peace,
Carl D
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