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Topic: The Purina diet (Read 313 times) |
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chewy
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I used to have a Labrador retriever, and I was buying a large bag of Purina
at Wal-Mart at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. (??)
On impulse, I told her no, that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in thehospital last time but I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in the intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet...and that the way it works is
to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry. Since the food is nutritionally complete, I had decided I
was going on it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly an older guy who was behind her.
Horrified at my story of waking up in the hospital,, she asked if I'd been
poisoned.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
The old guy staggered out the door holding his sides.
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lilboo
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Live like there's no tomorrow.
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #1 on: Jul 30th, 2006, 10:43pm » |
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kevinpix
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treat others with respect
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #2 on: Jul 30th, 2006, 10:44pm » |
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Yep, sounds about right. Thanks for the laugh!!!
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LeLimey
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #3 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 5:28am » |
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Explains alot Chewy, explains ALOT!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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the_old_man
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #4 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 7:39am » |
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Thanx for the needed laugh, Chewy..(as I wipe the coffee off my keyboard and monitor)
The Old Man
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #5 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 7:50am » |
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PLEEEZZZZ -- somebody put is flea collar back on him..... 
LMAO
Hugs BD
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| « Last Edit: Jul 31st, 2006, 7:51am by BarbaraD » |
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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deltadarlin
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #6 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 7:52am » |
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They're never too old to be neutered.
'darlin
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alchemy
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get out of my head
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #7 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 8:48am » |
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sandie99
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #8 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 11:53am » |
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That was great.
Thanks!
Sanna
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imnotbub
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #9 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 2:21pm » |
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on Jul 30th, 2006, 10:40pm, chewy wrote:| I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. |
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That was YOU! You owe me for a fender.
Steve
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Life may not be good, but I think it beats the alternative, and if it doesn't, we'll find out soon enough
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Carl_D
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Damn! What were you doing in the street?
If I could lick my balls...
I'd never have any reason to leave the house. 
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Ghost
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #11 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 2:34pm » |
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Laughed so hard I spewed kibbles everywhere!
Mike
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Charlie
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #13 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 7:30pm » |
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Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Charlotte
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Re: The Purina diet
« Reply #14 on: Jul 31st, 2006, 8:09pm » |
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laughed so hard I cried.
Charlotte
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