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Topic: Why MEN are the "happier" sex....... (Read 895 times) |
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BarbaraD
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Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« on: Jul 29th, 2006, 8:12am » |
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Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks . A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack . Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Have a good weekend
Hugs BD
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Yorky
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #1 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 8:45am » |
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we can also write our names in the snow when peeing!!!!your right it is quite good being a man,
as you have mentioned....all the good points....
if these are not a problem to us....why do the females ,share there assles with us?ie does my bum look big in these ,wat shoes shall i wear/buy...etc the list is endless(our lass can have a 10 minute coversatioun with me without me knowing)
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #2 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 9:13am » |
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The best way to answer this thread is to tell the Real story about Eve....... After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It is these breasts you have given me.
The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. ... she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.
"That is a fair point," replied God, "But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right.
How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Now let's see ... where did I put the useless boob?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that story about the rib?
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George_J
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #3 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 11:20am » |
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on Jul 29th, 2006, 8:45am, Yorky wrote:| why do the females ,share there assles with us?ie does my bum look big in these |
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I've concluded that there's no right way to answer these types of questions.
"Yes" is so obviously wrong that I don't even need to elaborate.
"No" means you're lying, or delusional.
"Your bum looks good in anything" is a patent, suck-up fraud.
"How 'bout those Seattle Mariners?" means you're not listening.
It's a puzzle.
Best wishes,
George
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TxBasslady
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #4 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 12:56pm » |
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on Jul 29th, 2006, 11:20am, georgej wrote:
"Your bum looks good in anything" is a patent, suck-up fraud. |
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 Yep, that's the worst thing any man could say. 
I learned a long time ago not to ask a man nuthin
Sheesh...it's not like I was listenin' anyway 
See ya,
Jean
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seansbetterhalf
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #5 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 1:36pm » |
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Sorry for this being my first post BUT Zwibbs, that was the funniest thing I've read in a long time 
Thanks for the explanation of Sean's behavior
Nice to meet you all, I feel like I already know you all 
Barbara
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TxBasslady
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #6 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 1:38pm » |
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Hi Barby !!!
Wow...great seeing you here, sweetie! 
Much love,
Jean
(modified..cause I forgot where my name went )
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| « Last Edit: Jul 29th, 2006, 1:39pm by TxBasslady » |
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas!
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seansbetterhalf
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #7 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 1:41pm » |
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Hi Jean,
Yup! He's a boob! LOL!!
But a keeper anyway. 
Barbara
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nani
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #8 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 1:43pm » |
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Hi Barb!!!! Great to see you here!
hugs to you, the kids and the boob.  love ya, nani
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seansbetterhalf
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #9 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 1:53pm » |
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Hi Nani!
How can I put a signature on here? I want it to say I love my BIG boob LOL!!!! That was hilarious!!!
Speaking of kids, I have to go check on them, thier in the pool with the boob LOL.
Nice to meet everybody! See you soon!
Barbara
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #10 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 2:02pm » |
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Barbara,
At the top of the page go to "Profile" when that comes up, scroll down to almost the bottom and you will see "personal Text" and a long box that you can type what you want into.
Linda
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Yorky
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #11 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 4:52pm » |
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on Jul 29th, 2006, 8:12am, BarbaraD wrote:Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks . A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack . Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache..
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Have a good weekend
Hugs BD
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for a while ....i thought this would end up being a man only type thread........how wrong can you be?
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #12 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 5:13pm » |
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on Jul 29th, 2006, 1:36pm, seansbetterhalf wrote:Sorry for this being my first post BUT Zwibbs, that was the funniest thing I've read in a long time
Thanks for the explanation of Sean's behavior
Nice to meet you all, I feel like I already know you all
Barbara |
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Thanks Barbara!!! Glad you enjoyed it---Welcome----I'm amazed that you were the only one that thought it was funny----but---I guess I have been blackballed from this place.
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Yorky
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #13 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 5:55pm » |
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on Jul 29th, 2006, 5:13pm, zwibbs/Scott wrote:
Thanks Barbara!!! Glad you enjoyed it---Welcome----I'm amazed that you were the only one that thought it was funny----but---I guess I have been blackballed from this place. |
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you have not been blackballed....we are only men!i found your explanation,amusing..but if god had given the female,the capacity to realise,that men make boob after boob....just got me thinking ,out of gods..7 days to create life/world...which day did he do it on.....my girl just wouldnt have been able to decide which day(she would make me choose the day,1000% i would have got that wrong,i know?
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Charlie
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #14 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 6:35pm » |
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Welcome Barbara to the madhouse. 
Among the lunacy you'll find more and if you look real hard, lots of good information all over the place.
I hope you stick around. New blood is needed all the time. 
Charlie
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Azrael
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #15 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 7:49pm » |
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on Jul 29th, 2006, 8:45am, Yorky wrote:| does my bum look big in these |
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I have discovered the perfect answer for this question... Ya ready? Here goes...
"Oh Hell yes, and I love it! Turn around... I wanna see that arse again... Damn! That's nice... Hold on... Let me get the camera..." and sing Rump Shaker by Wreckx-N-Effect while walking into the next room...
After that, she'll never want your opinion on her bum again.
PFDAN............................................................ ShadowLord
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #16 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 8:01pm » |
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Quote:| ----but---I guess I have been blackballed from this place. |
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Only by certain Califorians and Oregonians Swibby.
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Tim_w
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #17 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 8:22pm » |
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BarbaraD
Iam not the happier sex - Iam just happy to have sex!
Happy Pappy
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BarbaraD
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #18 on: Jul 30th, 2006, 12:18am » |
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on Jul 29th, 2006, 8:22pm, Tim_w wrote:BarbaraD
Iam not the happier sex - Iam just happy to have sex!
Happy Pappy |
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Now just why does that NOT surpise me. BTW - my little Caleb is still showing everyone your picture under my bench.
Hugs BD
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TxBasslady
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #19 on: Jul 30th, 2006, 3:17am » |
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on Jul 29th, 2006, 8:12am, BarbaraD wrote:| The world is your urinal. |
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Yep, there it is, in a nutshell....when in doubt they just whip it out 
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
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Jonny
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #20 on: Jul 30th, 2006, 3:32am » |
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on Jul 30th, 2006, 3:17am, TxBasslady wrote:
Yep, there it is, in a nutshell....when in doubt they just whip it out
Jean
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Hell, if I had known that I wouldnt have worn pants at the convention
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TxBasslady
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Re: Why MEN are the "happier" sex.......
« Reply #21 on: Jul 30th, 2006, 9:37pm » |
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on Jul 30th, 2006, 3:32am, Jonny wrote:
Hell, if I had known that I wouldnt have worn pants at the convention
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LMAO.... Sheesh, I haven't recovered from the pic of you nekkid in the snow...yet.
Gimme a break
Jean
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| « Last Edit: Jul 30th, 2006, 9:38pm by TxBasslady » |
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas!
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