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Topic: Well I think I have finally been beaten! (Read 476 times) |
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mynm156
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Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« on: Jul 28th, 2006, 8:43pm » |
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My wife left me today I came home to a Dear John letter. My life has gone completly into the crapper sence I went chronic and while I was doing what I could to try and live with that pain I guess I neglected the rest of my life. She was there for as long as she could be but in the end I let the beast consume me and lost all that I ever wanted in a women and at this point could care less about going on though I know I am too weak to do anything STUPID. I never ever saw this coming and dont know what else there is to do. I have left messages for her that I am not going to just give up but I am affraid that it is too little too late.
I hope that your lives are going better.
Howard
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #1 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 8:54pm » |
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Howard, while I know this condition of ours disrupts lives, there is something VERY wrong with someone who would leave like this without, as you said...you never saw it coming. That means she didn't talk to you or communicate what she was going through. Just left you high and dry so suddenly is well...wrong. Please don't blame this all on yourself.
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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maffumatt
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #2 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 8:55pm » |
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Jonny
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #3 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 9:07pm » |
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Fuck me side ways!!!!
Thats a raw deal, Bro! 
If you still have my cell call me, if not PM me.
(Shadowlord....got some words here?)
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| « Last Edit: Jul 28th, 2006, 9:08pm by Jonny » |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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Redd
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #4 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 9:13pm » |
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I'm at a loss for words.
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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kimmiedawn81
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #5 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 9:25pm » |
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Howard, I'm so sorry, I wish there was something that I could say or do, but that is wrong in so many ways. Take care of yourself.
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kayarr
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #6 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 9:41pm » |
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That hurts....I am so sorry you are feeling like you are right now.
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Nothing is impossible! Just believe!!!!!
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BMoneeTheMoneeMan
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #7 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 9:48pm » |
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So sorry to hear this, Bro. God, I wish there was something we could do.
One day at a time. Thats all you can do.
BMonee
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"Fool me once, shame on, shame on you. Fool - can't get fooled again"
Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half the population is stupider than that.
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E-Double
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #8 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 9:53pm » |
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Better days brother!!!
Things will be ok
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Melissa
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #9 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 10:00pm » |
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I am very sorry to hear this and I hope you two can get everything worked out Howard.
hugs,
mel
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TxBasslady
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #10 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 10:15pm » |
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Bless your heart, Howard 
This has happened to more folks than you know. It's not the end of the world...and you can and will recover.
Just another example of how this pain affects so many others.
Don't shoulder all the blame....maybe there were other circumstances that you're not aware of.
I know we can't take her place...but we'll listen and help with what we can, sweetie.
Much love,
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas! 
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nani
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #11 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 11:29pm » |
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Aw, damn, Howard...I'm sorry.
Please don't take on all the blame or guilt, OK?
Everyday will get a little easier...
hugs, nani
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Dragnlance
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #12 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 11:46pm » |
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Howard,
I ache for you.
I am praying something positive happens for you soon
Lance
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alchemy
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get out of my head
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #13 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 11:54pm » |
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man that sucks. check your pm's i'm a short drive away
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Cathi04
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #14 on: Jul 28th, 2006, 11:56pm » |
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Oh, Man!
Out on a limb, here, but isnt there something in the vows about "in sickness and in health"......???
I know, we dont know all the circumstances, but I cannot imagine watching someone suffering in the clutches of the beast...and then leaving them to deal alone.
Howard, I am soo sorry...........
and I still hate the Beast !
Cathi
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noneya
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #15 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 12:01am » |
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As if you aren't suffering enough. Keep your head up bro. Your extended family will always be here for you through the good and bad.
BJ
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George_J
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #16 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 12:07am » |
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It just plain sucks. Sorry to hear about this. Better days ahead, okay? Let us know how you are.
Best regards,
George
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
Wearing the tangerine suits
And their harlequin eyes.
The pain they inspire
Draws in harmonica melodies
And the feathers of birds
Which flame up at their touch.
It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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tanner
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #17 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 1:23am » |
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Howard there are no words! I despise this beast for what it does to us and our families!
I cannot honestly say that I know the pain that you must be suffering right now, I know what a strong person you are and I feel that you will have to draw heavily on that inner strength and dray even more heavily on OUR combined strength and love to see you through this.
I am going to pm you my # and ask that you please use it!
I know that we have not yet met in person, but please lean my way anytime day or night. You are my Bro and my friend.
Much love and prayers/positive vibes coming from SC. I have unlimited long distance so call me and I will call you right back and be as chatty as you need for as long as you need.
Hang tough my friend! Tim
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TxBasslady
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #18 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 1:38am » |
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on Jul 29th, 2006, 1:23am, tanner wrote:
I know that we have not yet met in person, but please lean my way anytime day or night. You are my Bro and my friend.
Much love and prayers/positive vibes coming from SC. I have unlimited long distance so call me and I will call you right back and be as chatty as you need for as long as you need. |
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Very nice, Tanner  I love this family!
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas!
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sandie99
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #19 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 3:31am » |
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Howard,
I am so sorry... 
I recall very well what being chronic alone can do... I wish I could do more to help. All I can think of right now is sending loads of vibes, prayers and s your way.
I do hope that lots of happy, bright days and events are on their way.
Best wishes,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Yorky
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #20 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 5:15am » |
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i am so sorry to read this howard,
no words i could give could help you
(you have enough to put up with being cronic)
but from the bottom of our hearts we hope and wish you a rapid change in your fortunes.
as i have found, thereis plenty of big hearts around here that do the upmost mankind could do to help us pull though......be strong..and good luck my friend
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today is a gift.....thats why it is called the
present.
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LeLimey
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #21 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 6:07am » |
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Oh hon I'm so sorry.
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Jasmyn
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #22 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 7:04am » |
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I am sorry Howard.
It is not your fault that you have CH. This is a difficult condition to cope with, for us that have it and for our families and loved one's it is sometimes just too much.
Communication can go a long way but understanding and empathy comes from a much deeper place. We always hope and wish for people to comprehend fully but when they are just living with the results of this condition and not experiencing this condition firsthand themselves, it can become a tad more than what the normal person can handle.
As Cher's we have very strong and resourceful coping mechanisms, not to mention the support from fellow sufferers and dedicated supporters. It can be a lonely world out there for a spouse or family member that find it against character to join this group or just cope with trying to carry on with life as if CH does not exist.
Life and people do not always live up to our high expectations... and support, empathy and understanding for CH can be an extremely high expectation for even those who love us. It takes its toll, some way or the other.
Don't beat yourself up and I truly wish that it could have been different for you and I still have hope that things will sort itself out. Just remember like Jean and Tim said, we are here for you. We cannot fill that space but we have broad shoulders.
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Jazz 
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Azrael
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #23 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 7:27am » |
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I won't claim to know exactly what you're going through, but I can say, it sounds very similar to where I was a little over 5 months ago. I was lucky in that she decided to tell me to my face that she was leaving, but any way you slice it, it's still Hell. My best advice to you is to find someone you trust enough, and are friends enough with, to talk to especially in the really low times. Any time you have an impulse to do something really stupid, give your friend a call, write 'em an e-mail, send 'em a PM, etc... Anything you can to get your thoughts and/or feelings expressed in a rational manner. Your mind and your heart will be your own worse enemies right now, so be extremely careful. I know from going through my first divorce that it's not the end of the world, but I also know from my current divorce that it's very hard to believe, and at times will seem absolutely impossible.
I really hope that your wife just needs some time apart to get her head together... That she realizes the mistake she has made, and you two can work things out. Good luck!
PFDAN...................................................... ShadowLord
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Jackie
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Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
« Reply #24 on: Jul 29th, 2006, 10:38am » |
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Howard,
I'm so sorry, Sweetie.....
As a wife/supporter (many years) of a chronic clusterhead I could say more....but, it's better for me to hush. 
You've got lots of friend and family here....lean on us. This bunch has pulled lots of folks through some really tough times.
Wishing you brighter days ahead.....they are there...I promise...
Jackie
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