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Topic: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind! (Read 291 times) |
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Daddys_Devil
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Hello all!! *in a good mood(for a change  )* Well heres the latest! Hope every one likes it!
I'm Hiding Within Myself
I sit in the corner.
Alone in my room.
Waiting for the pain.
I hope it comes soon.
There's no stopping it.
It'll just come anyway.
I was expecting the pain.
Just not now or today.
I should have though.
The dance begins.
A song starts to play.
We know the steps all too well.
And its my turn to pay.
I thought I could control it.
I had hoped to hide it on a shelf.
But now its found me.
Hiding.I'm hiding within myself.
Can't wait to read your responses! t2ul!
Always,
Felicia 
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no-one
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #1 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 7:51pm » |
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You did it again. 
It is unbelivable that you can say what is in my mind and can not put into words. You do know that you really arent' alone, that you have many ppl that love, understand and care.
hugs and pf wishes
love
b
PS Thank you
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"Be who you are and say what you feel...Because those that matter....don't mind....And those that mind....don't matter."
Man is what he believes. Anton Chekhov
Unless you believe, you will not understand.
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Bethany1
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #2 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 8:48pm » |
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That was depressing.
Very well written tho.
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| « Last Edit: Jul 24th, 2006, 8:49pm by Bethany1 » |
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #3 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 9:22pm » |
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Well, many of my poems are depressing but I think that's what puts so much life and reality into them. By telling the reader how it really is without them actully feeling the pain. thanx for the comments. Hope everyone liked it.
Always,
Felicia
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #4 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 9:28pm » |
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I liked it Felicia, but my first reaction was...you wrote this while in a good mood?
Your writing is very good. Very focused and articulate. I would love to see some happy poems from you. With your skills, anything upbeat would ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Azrael
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #5 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 9:38pm » |
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on Jul 24th, 2006, 9:28pm, Linda_Howell wrote:I would love to see some happy poems from you. With your skills, anything upbeat would ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Linda |
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Not tryin' to be an arsehole or nuttin' (It just comes naturally for me ya know) but from experience, I've found that writin' from the heart is more important than workin' on creatin' a particular emotion. A depressing poem from the heart is many times better than a hollow happy poem... Plus, a well written, emotional poem, even when it's sad, can incite strong emotions within one's self that may even surface as joy and/or happiness, so even a sad poem can make one happy. Or maybe it's just me.
Nice poem DDevil!
PFDAN.............................................................. ShadowLord
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #6 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 9:48pm » |
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Quote:
it is. 
Writing from the heart is what I meant. Certainly she must have good, happy, serene, joyful, proud moments in her life also that she can write about. 
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Azrael
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #7 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 10:03pm » |
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OY! I should really preview my posts before posting... And here I thought I was jokin' about bein' an arsehole... LOL Oh well...
on Jul 24th, 2006, 9:48pm, Linda_Howell wrote:| Writing from the heart is what I meant. Certainly she must have good, happy, serene, joyful, proud moments in her life also that she can write about. |
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I'm sorry... I got off track from what I meant to say... I was tryin' to say that many times the poet is a slave to the poem, and not the other way around. Words have a life of their own, which is quite accurately demonstrated in my post above. LOL
PFDAN................................................................... ........ ShadowLord
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Ree
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #8 on: Jul 24th, 2006, 10:10pm » |
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on Jul 24th, 2006, 9:48pm, Linda_Howell wrote:
it is.
Writing from the heart is what I meant. Certainly she must have good, happy, serene, joyful, proud moments in her life also that she can write about. |
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I knew what you meant.......love ree
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #9 on: Jul 25th, 2006, 11:00am » |
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Hey guys thanx for the support. And by the way, Linda, when I wrote the poem I wasn't in a good mood at all. I was actully getting a migrain at the time. But once it passes I'm usullay in a good mood or, well, lets just say you'd better what your step. I might be able to think of a happier poem for if you'd like. Many of my poems aren't about CH but they're not always bubbly either. I also understood what ShadowLord ment. It is sometimes hard to stay on track of one feeling when there is so much going on around me. That's why if I do get hit with a major feeling and I know how to say it so it will work with the other words right, I have to right it down immeditly so that I don't lose it. Thanx for your opinions.
Always,
Felicia
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nani
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #10 on: Jul 25th, 2006, 11:09am » |
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Felicia, you are a gifted and talented writer, to be sure. Your words give us a look into your heart and soul.
If I may second-guess Linda...
The teen years can be quite difficult and emotional on their own, no less so with such a painful condition to deal with. It becomes vey easy to keep our focus on the dark things (many of us adults do the same, BTW). I think what we "mom" types would like to see, is a peek into your lighter, brighter side. We all have to remind ourselves that our lives often go more smoothly when we do that. Those of us who've already raised a few teenagers, feel compelled to remind other teens of the same thing. I understand about being a slave to the poems... but try to remind the poetry that there are good things, too. We love you. hugs, nani
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #11 on: Jul 25th, 2006, 12:33pm » |
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Well let me see if I can show you "mom" types both sides of the mind of a 14 year old. Hope you like them.
Happy first  :
You and I
The worry in your eyes took me by suprise when I relized that the worry was ment for me.
Oh! What a start it gave to my heart,when our eyes connected from across the room.
Nobody knows , no one at all, how I feel for you.
Never before have I felt this way. For nobody has toched me as you have.
The sky opens, letting heavens reveal.
When you look at me, my head begins to wheel.
Then everythings okay. And I can dream of the day, when you will be mine.
Then I'll know its just you and I.
Now sad  :
Cry
The tears run down my face, like a tiny waterfall.
I cry for no reason. I cry for me. I cry for the world.
If only they knew the real me.
Oh! What a sad,lonely little girl!
Hiding inside the shell she calls her skin.
The shell of a woman who has fallen in.
Into the dark. Into the black.
Into a place from where no comes back.
Tears blurr my vison, as they roll on.
I'll cry and I'll cry. I'll cry until the day I die.
I'll cry until the tears are all gone.
So just let me cry.
And last but not least mad  :
Bitch
Loneliness is the devil.
Sadness is hell.
Fright is peace full.
And pain is swell.
Cold chills run with sweat.
I will get you yet.
They say I'm dark magic.
And that I'm a witch.
You bet I'll answer,
When you call me BITCH!
Always,
Felicia
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Linda_Howell
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #12 on: Jul 25th, 2006, 2:37pm » |
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Yes, I suppose you could call me a Mom type. Having 7 kids tends to do that.
It breaks my heart when someone your age hurts. Either physically or mentally. I certainly wasn't suggesting you not write of the pain....it helps getting it down on paper. Just wanted you to also focus on the positive things in life too.
Which you did. Beautifully.
Mom
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #13 on: Jul 25th, 2006, 6:07pm » |
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Thanx Linda. But don't hurt for me. You clusterheads have enough to deal with let alone feel bad for a girl you don't even know. Besides if not for my pain then I wouldn't be who I am. No one would. Everyone would be the same. Nobody could understand how they felt. Its like that smell. You don't know what it smells like but its some how familiar. Know what I mean?
Always,
Felicia
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George_J
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #14 on: Jul 25th, 2006, 9:52pm » |
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Hi Felicia.
I've got a fifteen-year-old daughter who also likes to write.
If you'd like, you can connect with her sometime through:
http://hopelesspoet.blogstream.com/
or
http://podkayne.deviantart.com
If you'd like to talk about writing, living with a clusterhead, or whatever.
Best wishes,
George
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Ah! The foreigners put on such airs
Wearing the tangerine suits
And their harlequin eyes.
The pain they inspire
Draws in harmonica melodies
And the feathers of birds
Which flame up at their touch.
It all comes to light in the sheer
Debonair.
(Ellen)
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #15 on: Jul 26th, 2006, 10:49am » |
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on Jul 24th, 2006, 7:51pm, no-one wrote:
For what?
And as for talking to your daughter,George, I think that would be great. When I get some free time I'll have to check her sites out some more. Well, that's all for now. PFDAN everyone! Bye!
Always,
Felicia
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Daddys_Devil
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #16 on: Jul 27th, 2006, 11:09am » |
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Here comes another one! Hope everyone likes it!
I Feel No...
I:
Feel no pain,
but I can bring it.
Feel no fear,
but I can see it.
Feel no love,
but I can take it.
Feel no hate,
but I can make it.
This one doesn't have to do a lot with clusters because I wrote it when I was trying to stand up for something I believed in and every one was trying to push me back down to shut me up. Well as a few of you may know, I can't be silent when something wrong is going on. Usually I don't dedicate my poems on here but this one's different. This one goes out to Bingerboo. If he only could have seen what we have here, maybe he wouldn't have let a bunch of grown men acting like 5 year olds push him out. Hopefully those responsiable feel at least a little bit guilty for what they've cheated another out of. Thank you for reading.
Always,
Felicia
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Carl_D
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Re: Latest Poem!Hot off my Mind!
« Reply #17 on: Jul 27th, 2006, 2:50pm » |
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And I thought NIN had some dark stuff....
Very well written. Words are lik colors in a painting, and obviously you choose yours wisely. Keep 'em coming.
Isn't writing things out a great form of therapy?
Peace,
Carl D
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