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Topic: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon (Read 251 times) |
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wildhaus
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“fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« on: Jul 11th, 2006, 2:15pm » |
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It’s my first convention………. No butterflies as for the trip…. It’s one more trip in my life
I am undertaking…..
And yet…….
Why am I not so sure about the trip…..I am looking forward, and very happy to finally meet all of you “Comrades in pain” – and until now my virtual family…
And still have that queasy feeling…… telling me…… why did you put yourself into a situation
You cannot control or even foresee its outcome….
It will be the first time Ill meet a CH and most likely will face for the first time an attack of a CH.
Never looked in the mirror…. during an attack….. And to see one get hit…..
I’m just starting to get (at last?) to terms with my CH……. and to accept the fact that I do have CH,
But facing “reality” in its most ugly way…… well I am not so sure about it…not yet
I was debating whether I should post these “fragments” of thoughts…… as most of my life I am a very dominant and self assured person, that will never admit or accept a weakness in himself….. one can say with a big chip on my shoulder…….
But not this time…. I am going ….. but my self assured demeanour has a dent….. a big one……
And still Ill have to face the “musik”…… Just do forgive me if Ill be at times not the most
Understanding or friendly….. before I make peace with you guys Il'l most likely will have to make peace with my self…… and that is not that simple…. not this time……
See you soon
Michael
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Margi
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #1 on: Jul 11th, 2006, 2:25pm » |
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Michael, I can guarantee you that this will be a life changing event for you and everyone who attends this (or any) clusterhead convention.
I can also guarantee you tears when it comes time to say goodbye. You will feel like you are leaving family.
Mark my words. I still choke up at the memories of goodbye at every single cluster meet I've attended and how this community has changed our lives.
Margi
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kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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TxBasslady
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #2 on: Jul 11th, 2006, 2:41pm » |
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Listen to Margi...she's so right, Michael.
The first time I met a clusterhead....she got hit. It broke my heart...I cried like a baby. But when it was over, I realized that I had witnessed CH from both sides. I realized what my husband had gone through and how he felt when it was me in pain.
Yes, you will probably witness someone get hit....it will upset you. But in the end....you will leave with a much better understanding. You will witness, as many others have, the pain of CH from the other side.
You will have no regrets when it's time to leave...only tears from having to part.
There's always someone you can lean on...remember that.
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
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I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas! 
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Cathi04
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #3 on: Jul 11th, 2006, 2:49pm » |
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Michael, there is a whole lot of pleasure in between the pain.
You will be greeted by smiling faces and huge hugs. People will disappear occasionally, and you will, as you said, likely see someone....or several getting hit, but noone ever focuses on that! These are clusterheads.
Because I cant be there, I am sending you and your wife MY hug now, Michael.
Have a good flight, and have an even better time with your new family in Clusterville!
Please tell me all about it when you can.
....oh, and don't mind Chuck....he's just Chuck.......... 
Cathi
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Guiseppi
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #4 on: Jul 11th, 2006, 2:52pm » |
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You sound just like me. I will miss the convention this year, but never again!!! I did my first meet and greet a few months ago in Sacramento. I was feeling really weird the weeks leading up to the meet and greet and told my wife I may have made a mistake by agreeing to go to this thing. Spending a whole weekend with a bunch of strangers isn't my style.
Talk about INSTANT CONNECTION! I walk into the hotel lobby, there sat Linda next to an E-tank......all set up for anyone who might need it just in case, that's how I found the group. Sitting and talking for hours on end with real CH people is an experience well worth the trip. Somethng I won't soon forget. Wishing you all a fantastic weekend, with many new friends, and God willing some pain free days.
Guiseppi
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Sandy_C
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #5 on: Jul 11th, 2006, 5:10pm » |
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Michael, I can't believe it but reading your words reflects the exact same feelings I've been having about going to Milcon. It's my first convention too.
I can't express how excited I am to meet many of my new extended family, whom I have grown to love on these boards, yet how uneasy I feel about hearing their stories first hand, witnessing someone's attack and being shocked by what I see. I, too, have never looked in the mirror. I've tried to explain to my husband why it is so important for me to be at Milcon, and I think he understands, maybe even better than I do. He's witnessed my attacks and I think he knows that I need to grab on to this lifeline that has been extended to me here. I wish he could be coming with me, but finances will not allow it.
Thank you for sharing your "fragments". I have found them helpful to me to put my own thoughts in to perspective.
I'll see you at Milcon.
Sandy
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Lean on me when you're not strong
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For it won't be long
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Somebody to lean on
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Charlie
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #6 on: Jul 11th, 2006, 5:19pm » |
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Not to worry. I first saw one at the Alexandria Bay con. For an instant I wondered what to do and then realized that no one was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. About 100 people knew exactly what was needed but more importantly what was NOT needed.
Also, when you meet a bunch of clusterheads, you feel good about yourself. You're not a oddball. No worrying that no one gets it. You become one of many. Clusterheads can relax and not worry about scaring the crowd. It's wonderful and you can get drunk and join in picking on Chuck. 
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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wildhaus_wife
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #7 on: Jul 12th, 2006, 1:30pm » |
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THANK YOU GUYS!!!
WAS ENOUGH TROUBLE TO TELL HIM HE'S BOOKED TO GO......
PLS TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY HUBBY!
he's a bit different, but once you get used to him you cant but love him....
Marta
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Killroy 2.0
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #8 on: Jul 12th, 2006, 2:19pm » |
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on Jul 12th, 2006, 1:30pm, wildhaus_wife wrote:
he's a bit different, but once you get used to him you cant but love him....
Marta |
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Then he should fit right in 
I can't think of anyone of us that is " NORMAL"
whatever the H E LL that means 
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Do the walls speak to you? Do you follow the Geek Messiah? DO YOU COMPLY?!
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wildhaus
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #9 on: Jul 12th, 2006, 3:19pm » |
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got home from work a short time ago......... geting my bag redy.... off to sleep.... and on at 3am to milcon...
see you
Michael
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Brew
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Re: “fragments” of thoughts before Milcon
« Reply #10 on: Jul 12th, 2006, 3:25pm » |
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on Jul 12th, 2006, 3:19pm, wildhaus wrote:got home from work a short time ago......... geting my bag redy.... off to sleep.... and on at 3am to milcon...
see you
Michael |
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Michael,
I'll be there at the airport waiting for you (if you have time to read this). No worries, mate. If you're not relaxed by the time we get to the hotel, you can blame me. It means I didn't do my job as a host.
Bill
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Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
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