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Topic: Laws of the Land..... (Read 242 times) |
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BarbaraD
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Laws of the Land.....
« on: Jul 9th, 2006, 7:24am » |
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Natural Laws of the Universe...
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone:
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will start to move faster than the one you are
in now.
Law of the Bath:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen
with
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.
Law of the Theatre:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last
until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they
will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing
face down on a floor covering are directly correlated
to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.
Brown's Law:
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law:
As soon as you find a product that you really like,
they will stop making it.
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
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Posts: 14968
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Re: Laws of the Land.....
« Reply #1 on: Jul 9th, 2006, 1:08pm » |
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Charlie's Law:
Spilled pills always fall over a sink with an open drain. It's always a prescription. 
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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maffumatt
Guest
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Matts Law
the more you depend on someone else, the more disappointed you will be.
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Jonny
CH.com Alumnus
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Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Re: Laws of the Land.....
« Reply #3 on: Jul 9th, 2006, 1:22pm » |
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Jonnys law
If it stinks dont put your dick in it!
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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purpleydog
CH.com Alumnus
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Posts: 2240
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Re: Laws of the Land.....
« Reply #4 on: Jul 9th, 2006, 1:24pm » |
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Coles Law:
Finely chopped cabbage.
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KingOfPain
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Disgusted!
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Posts: 1552
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Re: Laws of the Land.....
« Reply #5 on: Jul 10th, 2006, 1:55am » |
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on Jul 9th, 2006, 7:24am, BarbaraD wrote:Natural Laws of the Universe...
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
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I'd like to add one to these...
Law of Mechanical Tightness:
The tightness of a nut or bolt is in direct proportion to how difficult it is to get at.
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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rickyshot
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ouch
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Posts: 985
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Re: Laws of the Land.....
« Reply #6 on: Jul 10th, 2006, 10:17am » |
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on Jul 9th, 2006, 1:22pm, Jonny wrote:Jonnys law
If it stinks dont put your dick in it! |
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So keep it out of the toilet Jonny. 
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jimmers
CH.com Alumnus
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Hello GOD! The gene pool needs some chlorine!
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Posts: 2092
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Re: Laws of the Land.....
« Reply #7 on: Jul 10th, 2006, 10:41am » |
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Jimmers Law.
If you want to make a right turn at the next light, someone will be in that lane going straight. with no one in the left lane.
Jimmers
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I don't suffer from INSANITY; I'm enjoying every minute of it!
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