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Lost_in_cluster
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To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 11:17am »
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Hello Friends....
 
Appologizing right up front.  I want to tell you all how very sorry that I am for having disappeared off the board even after graduation from RN school.  A little of me wished I could disappeared all together but I didn't.
 
Life has thrown me a curve ball and saddly I had forgotten my mit and the ball hit me right into the chest.  My heart felt like a crushing devise was squeezing it till it began to split.  
 
Anyway I have some unfortunate news to me but so many have told me that I deserve better.  I have seperated from my husband do to his infidelity.  Later coming to find out that he continued to see her even in the start of the seperation knowing that she was the problem.  So I am back in Montana my parents helped me move back and am currently living out at there place till I am back on my feet from credit card debit then life can start even more a new.  The divorce papers must wait due to lack of funds but it won't be long and I plan to take care of it.  There isn't any coming back from this as much as that hurts. Undecided Cry  My heart is broken and now its time to mend from here.
 
So as you can see this is what has unfolded since my graduation and it started a month before but I had to concentrate on the school for my future was rocky with my husband and thank God I did push it back.  He was even nice enough to let me pay for my own plane ticket back home for the two weeks after graduation so that he could spend all the time he wanted with her anyway and May 29th things fell apart from there.  
 
Please forgive me for not getting on sooner and will hope to keep up with at least messages for now.  Dial up doesn't leave a lot of time to be on the internet due to tieing up the phone line.  Miss you all and will keep all posted on new changes and trust me they are coming...Hugs....Kim
 
PS:  good news though did pass my state boards for RN even though all this has gone on so am glad of that...
« Last Edit: Jul 3rd, 2006, 11:18am by Lost_in_cluster » IP Logged

Dance as though no one is watching you, Love as though you have never been hurt before, Sing as though no one can hear you, Live as though heaven is on earth. -souza
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #1 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 11:28am »
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Kim so much to say.. I'm glad you're back, I have worried about you. I'm so terribly sorry for your heartbreak. You were, are and always will be too good for him though  hug
Congratulations on passing your exams too, that shows great courage with all you have been under but it doesn't surprise me one bit. I know you are capable of great things  Smiley
I'm glad you are home, I know you have missed Montana and being there will help you heal.
We care about you here though and we always will.
Wish you'd had the time to cook my recipe for "Special Curry" before you left though!  Wink
lots of love
Helen xxxxxxxxxx
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine

Lost_in_cluster
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #2 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 11:41am »
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Helen
 
Thank you for the boost of confidence I am getting a lot of that since this all went down and it is making me stronger everyday.  I am seeing that I wasn't the problem he was.  I am seeing that I am a good person and will someday find a man who loves all my qualities and won't children as bad as I do.  
I have fears but in time I am sure those will go away but for now I am finding Kim again, learning how to smile again, be independent (as hard as that is when you have to rely on parents for a short time).  I owe them so much and will do all I can to make it up to them.  
Specially curry Hummmmmmm laugh.  
Mom had some fun in the house as we were moving things out like shreading dryer sheet on the floor etc..small harmless stuff but enough to let him know what she thinks of him.  As well as a letter from her and dad letting him know what he has lost and the grass ain't always greener on the other side.  And if none of that got him the comparison to my other father who cheated on my mother and drinks in excess should have hit home.  Maybe not now but someday.
 
Thanks again Helen...Kim
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #3 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 11:50am »
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Sorry you have to go through that stuff but hopefully you will come out of it stronger and wiser. Cry It is really sad how some find it necessary to hurt another just for a change. Good luck in the cold country and hope you have the best of everything. Remember the best revenge is success!
Prayers and Vibes to you!
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #4 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 11:56am »
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Kim the best advice I can give you at this stage (since you missed the Curry opportunity!) is to learn to be yourself again.  
 
You, on your own, the power of one.  
 
It becomes such a big part of you being a "couple" and one of two that you forget who you are. Not intentionally, not badly, you just adapt to being a part of a smooth running unit.
 
If you jump into a new relationship too quickly the Kim who was with dipshit is the Kim you'll take in. You deserve better and so does your future love.
 
Learn to be you, be a whole person in yourself and what you are, what you want nd what you have to offer. Its the best way I know to try and ensure success and happiness for all  Smiley
 
Practise your flirting technique, I'll bet you are a whizz at it! It will give you a huge boost too and that's always good!
 
Walk with your head held high and look the world right in the eye. It isn't you who has anything to be ashamed of. You gave it your all and you can walk on now with honour intact.
 
Oh and remember the best revenge is curry to live well. Let the good times roll  Grin
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine

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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #5 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 12:32pm »
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Hey Kim!
 
So nice to see you posting again.
I'm sorry about the crap you've had to endure lately.  But you will one day see this as a blessing in desguise...you deserve to be happy.
 
So proud of you that you passed your RN Test though...shows perserverance.  Good for you.
 
Know we do love you and wish you well. Take the time you need now to get back on your feet and get strong again...then go kick some ass... Grin
 
Love,
Langa
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #6 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 12:46pm »
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Kim, I told you that you would pass that test!  Good for you!  And you know that my heart goes out to you about what happened with Danny.  I hope you're getting some much needed R&R.  Take care sweetie!
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #7 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 1:43pm »
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Sorry your having such a hard time but congrats on graduating. Look at it as a new start on a new life, a better life. Be well and don't be a stranger.
Matt
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #8 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 2:43pm »
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I have been through betrayal with men more times than I care to remember and always kick em to the curb. There is no second chance for cheaters. I am glad you did what you did cause they never change. You have your whole life ahead of you. Why waste it on someone who is not worthy of you? You have my prayers and congrats on passing your test. Believe me I am not talking out the side of my mouth. I have been through incredible betrayal.
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #9 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 2:58pm »
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Kim, sorry about the crap you've been going through. I'm so happy you passed your tests and graduated. Hang in there
jim
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #10 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 4:34pm »
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hug
 
I will try to write soon.
 
Paul
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #11 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 5:47pm »
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Rats.
 
Sorry to you had to go through all this but you have graduated and that's one thing on the other side of the ledger.  
 
Glad you posted and if you need to rant; we're here for ya.  
 
Charlie
« Last Edit: Jul 3rd, 2006, 5:49pm by Charlie » IP Logged

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LeLimey
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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #12 on: Jul 3rd, 2006, 6:06pm »
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on Jul 3rd, 2006, 5:47pm, Charlie wrote:
...and if you need to rant..

 
Charlie I'm surprised at you! Surely by now you know Men RANT... women merely vent! BEEEG DEEEFERENCE!  Grin
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine

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Re: To all who know me as Lost_in_cluster
« Reply #13 on: Jul 6th, 2006, 5:52pm »
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on Jul 3rd, 2006, 11:56am, LeLimey wrote:
Kim the best advice I can give you at this stage (since you missed the Curry opportunity!) is to learn to be yourself again.  
 
You, on your own, the power of one.  
 
It becomes such a big part of you being a "couple" and one of two that you forget who you are. Not intentionally, not badly, you just adapt to being a part of a smooth running unit.
 
If you jump into a new relationship too quickly the Kim who was with dipshit is the Kim you'll take in. You deserve better and so does your future love.
 
Learn to be you, be a whole person in yourself and what you are, what you want nd what you have to offer. Its the best way I know to try and ensure success and happiness for all  Smiley
 
Practise your flirting technique, I'll bet you are a whizz at it! It will give you a huge boost too and that's always good!
 
Walk with your head held high and look the world right in the eye. It isn't you who has anything to be ashamed of. You gave it your all and you can walk on now with honour intact.
 
Oh and remember the best revenge is curry to live well. Let the good times roll  Grin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AS Usual Helen said what I was gonna say but better then I probably would have.Congratulations on graduating you know a job will always be around for a good RN.That is a great relief.Family and friends are a God send when going through a seperation and divorce.I am still Learing who I am and I've been seperated nearly a year.Time helps heal some wounds I hear hopes it's true for all our sakes.Chin up and look ahead it's amzing how free you can feel.
   Minnie
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