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Topic: R. I. P. (Read 297 times) |
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Jonny
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OBITUARY
Common Sense Died 24/7/365 in America's Heart, USA
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not
kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition .
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; however they could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two unruly stepbrothers; My Rights First and I'm a Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Sandy_C
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Burn that bra!
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Re: R. I. P.
« Reply #1 on: Jun 24th, 2006, 11:59am » |
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Thanks Jonny. Good post.
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medic1852
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Re: R. I. P.
« Reply #2 on: Jun 24th, 2006, 12:05pm » |
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 May He Rest in Peace and soon be resurrected. 
Rodger
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Richr8
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Re: R. I. P.
« Reply #3 on: Jun 24th, 2006, 12:06pm » |
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When is this crap goiing to stop? You can't even be yourself anymore. Somehow, knowing life isn't fair just isn't enough.
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pf wishes,
Rich
...because yesterday is history and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
"Med free"- A few seeds and lots of O2-LG but not great.
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pattik
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Re: R. I. P.
« Reply #4 on: Jun 24th, 2006, 12:09pm » |
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Call me an optimist--I think he will be reincarnated. 
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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john_d
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that was a brilliant read, thanks! 
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Richr8
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It's all about today...
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Re: R. I. P.
« Reply #6 on: Jun 24th, 2006, 12:23pm » |
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on Jun 24th, 2006, 12:09pm, pattik wrote:| Call me an optimist--I think he will be reincarnated. |
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I maintain hope that you are correct.
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| « Last Edit: Jun 24th, 2006, 12:24pm by Richr8 » |
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pf wishes,
Rich
...because yesterday is history and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
"Med free"- A few seeds and lots of O2-LG but not great.
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Azrael
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Re: R. I. P.
« Reply #7 on: Jun 24th, 2006, 12:30pm » |
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I thouht common sense was only a folktale... Something for the old folks to talk about... Like the Jersey Devil... Too bad I never met the fella... Sounded like he was a good ol' chap.
PFDAN................................................................. ShadowLord
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zwibbs/Scott
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Stay Strong !!!
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Re: R. I. P.
« Reply #8 on: Jun 24th, 2006, 12:42pm » |
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on Jun 24th, 2006, 12:30pm, ShadowLord wrote:I thouht common sense was only a folktale... Something for the old folks to talk about... Like the Jersey Devil... Too bad I never met the fella... Sounded like he was a good ol' chap.
PFDAN................................................................. ShadowLord |
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Tanner is the Jersey Devil !!
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There's always light at the end of the Tunnel.
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Charlie
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Re: R. I. P.
« Reply #9 on: Jun 24th, 2006, 2:26pm » |
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This makes even me long for some good old days when in my class, the teacher confiscated a switchblade and told the kid to go back to his seat. 
Ah me.....
Thanks Jonny.
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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deltadarlin
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Re: R. I. P.
« Reply #10 on: Jun 25th, 2006, 3:41pm » |
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on Jun 24th, 2006, 2:26pm, Charlie wrote:This makes even me long for some good old days when in my class, the teacher confiscated a switchblade and told the kid to go back to his seat.
Ah me.....
Thanks Jonny. |
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And that student knew better than to try to defy the teacher. Remember when the paddling at school was nowhere near the whupping you got when you got home.
'darlin
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