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Topic: More from the Baby Front-Lines... (Read 140 times) |
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Lizzie2
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More from the Baby Front-Lines...
« on: Jun 15th, 2006, 10:15pm » |
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There are some situations where you think you will never know the right thing to say or what to say at all. You don't know whether you should let a parent be with their child alone or if you should be there and be their support. There are times when care is futile but it doesn't look that way from the outside and decisions have to be made that no person should EVER have to make about their newborn...
Today I participated in my first family meeting. It was about 2 hours long and it was very intense. I was very impressed by the other people in the meeting with me - an attending physician, fellow, social worker, and myself plus the family. It was hard but I am very proud of how strong every single person was. There are a few things to be done...but think of this....(I have to be intentionally vague for confidentiality...)
You could keep your infant alive, even with a trach and G-tube in order to take them home and continue their care. Or you could declare a DNR and slowly withdraw support and hold your infant in your arms as he or she dies.
Which decision do you think would make me proud of the strength of those involved? Is it stronger to hold on to your child through all sorts of futile treatments or is it stronger to let them go when their spirit has already gone? I won't answer because every person has to make that decision for themselves... But I will support the decision - no matter what it is, and I have been involved in situations where the choice has gone in each direction.... I know what I would choose if it were me, but I still respect whatever decision a person does make.
So some things I will never forget. I talked with the mother for an additional 2 hours after the family meeting even though it meant I got out of work 2 hours late. A person should not face this alone... not ever...
It was the most real experience I've ever had; the most human experience I've ever had; and one of the most painful experiences I've ever had. Words cannot describe the bond formed and the conversation shared in those 2 hours. I couldn't begin to describe it. I feel like I've aged 20 years today. If there was a maturity level I still needed to reach, I do believe I've reached it.
My heart aches tonight but I feel a wide mix of emotions and even though as of right now I'm assigned different babies when I return tomorrow afternoon, I did let the mom know that I would be there to be supportive. I just need to pray for myself to have the strength and peace to be there for her. And I pray that she and her family will also find strength and peace.
Life can be...so....hard.....
PF wishes to all of you - to be free from both physical and emotional pain...
Hugz,
Carrie
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broomhilda
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Ride it!
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Re: More from the Baby Front-Lines...
« Reply #1 on: Jun 15th, 2006, 10:29pm » |
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(((((((((((Carrie))))))))))
A parent once told me their child is a blessing, with each child comes a gift, each unique and special...
This has been my life for over 15 years, if you need a shoulder, a friend or just an ear, you know where to find me k?
Hugs
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Suck it up Princess...
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Lizzie2
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Re: More from the Baby Front-Lines...
« Reply #2 on: Jun 15th, 2006, 10:32pm » |
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{{{{{Andrea}}}}}
Sometimes the loss of a child makes other children just that much more special. Not that a mother takes her children for granted, but losing a child makes her appreciate her other ones just so much more.
I have had ones go down the road of the trach and g-tube.... That does take a great deal of strength....and I do think it is tremendous to take care of a child that has no connection with the outside world except for a few seizures here and there, and to talk to that child and love that child as if they will get up tomorrow and walk down the street.
But at the time, my heart is overflowing with feelings for those who decide to let their child go in peace. And so I guess I've let on to what is happening here...
I've been in the former situation on a few occasions, but this is a new one for me - except for one other time where I took care of an infant who was "dead" but did not interact with the family because I was working night shift and they did not visit much or speak English. This is very very different than that and very much more real.
My heart does break... 
Hugz,
carrie
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Ree
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Re: More from the Baby Front-Lines...
« Reply #3 on: Jun 17th, 2006, 4:10pm » |
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many prayers and blessings to all involved.....
Ree who lost 2 babies..... love ree
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