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Ghost
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To the Dad's
« on: Jun 14th, 2006, 11:40am » |
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I thought I would open this thread to give everyone a chance to reflect and share. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, or even Liberal or Conservative.
This is a chance to think of the point in time your Dad or Father type figure taught you your greatest lesson, or just gave you insite that has and/or will effect the rest of your life.
I will start it off.
Growing up I really did not get to spend much time with my dad, He always was working off shifts or working around the house trying to keep things running. Of course at the time I didn't realize that. In a family with 7 sisters and 3 brothers any time you get is good time. 1 time inparticular though when I was 14 my dad was reading the news paper at the table and drinking his normal cup of coffee, as I walked through he stopped me and asked me to read a article in the paper. The article was about a man who had been in a coma for about 3 years, He was in a car accident as the passenger coming home from the Lake when his friend fell asleep at the wheel and rolled the car several times before it came to rest bent around a tree. His friend was thrown clear and survived with minor injuries, but he was pinned in the car and thought to be dead by witnesses. One of the witnesses who left before anyone could get his name saved the man trapped in the car. It seems him and his son worked together to tip the car and the son crawled in and put a belt around the pinned mans chest and a branch along his back inside the belt. then the Man pulled the trapped man free while his son stayed in the car making sure nothing caught on him as he came out. Then the Man told his son to go back to the car and wait with the rest of his family, a large group in a stationwagon. The unknown man then did cpr till the Fire Dept and Police arrived, When the rescue personell took over The Family just left unnoticed. The article was written by the trapped man as a thank you to the people who saved his life.
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
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Ghost
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #1 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 11:44am » |
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I read the article and then realized what I had read it was 4 years prior we where following a car that crashed and I remember it rolling, we stopped and my Dad went down to the car and the came back up and told me to come with him. He pulled his belt off and grabbed a stick. He handed them to me and told me tol crawl in and put the belt around some guy's chest and put the stick along his back under the belt, once I did it he reached in grabbed the end of the belt and started to pull, as he pulled he kept telling me to make sure his clothes didnt catch in anything and to lift his legs. After that he told me to go back to the car and help Mom keep traffic going. That was the last I saw of the guy in the car. After the Fire trucks and Police cars arrived he came back to the car and we left. At the next exit we stopped and my Dad took me to the restroom to clean up. As we where getting cleaned he looked at me like he was mad and said " now you have seen someone dead and I hope you remember how it looked." To this day I cant remember what he looked like.
The lesson he showed me with that article was that you do what is right and for the right reasons. Not for recognition but because it is just right. That will forever stick with me.
Mike
Added
Thanks Dad some lessons are remembered even though I have never told you so I know you know it.
Mike
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If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
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Ghost
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #2 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 12:11pm » |
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Please share with us you story or letter you would like your Dads to know how they effected you and your lives.
Happy, sad, good, or bad. Its yours and you have the right to share if you would like to. For me My story helped shape my life and the way I try to raise my kids.
Mike
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If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
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Brew
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #3 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 12:30pm » |
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My hindsight is a bit clouded today as it was one year ago today that we buried my dad's remains at the SE Wisconsin Veteran's Cemetery, on what would have been his 69th birthday. Today he would have been 70. Flag Day.
He died 10 minutes before the start of funeral services for my aunt, his sister-in-law. Massive coronary right in the church, never knew what hit him. He wasn't very fond of her, so I'm sure he would have appreciated the irony in stealing the spotlight.
He was a great man, having not only taught me a good number of "how-to" things, but also how to persevere and keep your nose to the grindstone. Not one for being overly emotional or gushy, he did from time to time show his sensitive side.
I miss him a whole lot.
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minnie
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #4 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 12:41pm » |
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Wow Mike that was amazing your Dad is obviously a quick thinker and knows whats important.Sounds like a great lesson learned.
My Dad is an amazing man in everyday situations.I have always been a Daddies girls,was even born on his birthday.(I think he's questioned moms choice of gift that year  He retired as a towmotor operater almost 9 years ago.before that he was a mechanic and he and my Mom owned/ran a rotary station.Our house was connected to the garage so many hours would be put in.There are so many stories but heres a few.now mind you this was Rochester NY early 70's I was about 3 years old so these are stories I've heard.
Christmas weekend a family had their car towed to the garage.because parts stores wern't open then my Dad couldn't order the part.He took the part of our car so the family (just passing through) could make it to families.he never charged a dime for the part or labor just sent them on their way.Yes the family did send a check and thank you to Dad and the rotary headquarters.Also he never thought retread tires were safe for family cars. if people tried to buy them because they were cheaper he often sold new tires for the lower price the difference usually out of his pocket.
I guess what I want to say is my Dad has taught me to be fair,give what you can when you can and laugh.He walks around the house singing and doing alittle jig.my Mom just rolls her eyes but I do the same thing around my house,and my girls just roll their eyes.we have the same sense of humor and like the same comedies.Dad and I will sit and watch the same reruns of everybody loves raymond and laugh our asses off.My Dad and Mom would give you the shirt off their back.All of our friends
Call them Mom and Dad.My sisters have moved back in at times with there children.everyone knows their welcome and are made to feel at home.
I hope I am as good a parent to my kids as my Dad is to me.Oh and he's a reat Grandpa too 9 Grandkids that have him wrapped around their little fingers
Minnie the Daddies girl and yes I'm his favorate 
My Dad..last july...
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d182/minnie7053/garybovairdscdcopiedju ly05096.jpg
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Mattrf
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #5 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 12:57pm » |
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I wish I had a good story about my dad but my parents divorced when I was young and my dad even though he lived maybe 15 miles away was an absentee dad at best.
My brother, sister and I did see him occasionally but sometimes it was once or twice a year, he was just to rapped up in his own life to be a good dad.
I can say I did learn one very important lesson from him and that was not to do as a dad.
I swore that no matter what happened I would always be there for my kids and be very involved in there life. Now I do not have kids of my own but I do have two great step-kids that I love like they where my own and treat them like that and feel I am a very good dad and that has been confirmed many times buy my in-laws and my wife. I love being a dad and can not imagine life without my kids.
Some of the best lessons learned are the ones that teach us what not to do.
My dad is still the same to this day and is oblivious to how he is and can not understand why his kids don’t care much to see him, my kids will never feel that way about me, not if I can help it and I will never turn into my dad, that legacy will end with him.
Matt
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Redd
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #6 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 1:03pm » |
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Mine's not pretty either....but I'll share I suppose.
Quote:Dear Dad,
It’s been what now? Almost 26 years since you decided to off yourself in a drunken stupor. I guess your first attempt the year before didn’t teach you anything but how to succeed. Booze is such a nasty monkey, Dad, and it became more important to you than your only child.
I was going through some of Mom’s old photos the other day. Pictures of Christmas’s past. You always in that tee shirt and leisure slacks, your hair a mess and your face showing the results of far too much brandy the night before. I can’t really recall too many nice times. I do remember once you read Peter Pan to me. And I remember a few times in the heat of a summer Saturday afternoon you rubbing my back down with baby powder.
Oh yes, there were the summer weekends of boating and cookouts on secluded beaches, but you always got drunk and scary by the end of the day. You never came to my dive meets. Mom couldn’t because she had to work and pay the bills with her money because you were too busy drinking away what income you brought in. You always tried to bribe me for my love, when all I needed from you was for you to be sober, and to show me you loved me, rather…you treated me as if I was some inconvenience to your life somehow. But booze will do that to a person. It changes all perception of reality. I wish I had had your unconditional love, your fatherly support.
Maybe I wouldn’t have made some of the mistakes I did in my life had you been there to protect me, teach me, or just hug me and tell me I’m worth something. Maybe I would have anyway. There is no knowing for sure.
But I want you to know, that although sometimes I’m still angry for all you didn’t say or didn’t do and for leaving me to grow up without your guidance, I loved you even more than I was ever angry. I loved you more than I was ever hurt. I can’t live on “what if’s”. I can only live in what IS. What IS, is that I will not leave my children the way you left me. I will learn from YOUR mistakes. You’d be proud of your grandchildren, Dad. Dylan even looks just like you.
Were it not for you...I wouldn't have THEM.
Thank you Dad, I love you, still.
Your Suzie Q
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seasonalboomer
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #7 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 1:15pm » |
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on Jun 14th, 2006, 1:03pm, Redd715 wrote:Mine's not pretty either....but I'll share I suppose.
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Bruce Springsteen's recent album, Devils and Dust had a song on it that kind of brought me some peace on this subject. Here's a couple of pertinient verses from a song called "Long Time Coming"
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"Well my daddy he was just a stranger
Lived in a hotel downtown
When I was a kid he was just somebody
Somebody I'd see around
Somebody I'd see around
Now down below and pullin' on my shirt
I got some kids of my own
Well if I had one wish in this god forsaken world, kids
It'd be that your mistakes would be your own
Yea your sins would be your own"
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May our children's sin's be their own and not ours...............
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seasonal boomer
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Mattrf
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #8 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 1:16pm » |
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Redd
I am sorry you went through such a time and lost your dad like that.
I have tried having a relationship with my dad a few times but found it to be to one sided and just got tired of doing all the work and him still acting like he actually had something to do with raising me. Like you, I still love my dad and always will but I will never have the relationship that I have always wished for, and that is why my kids will never have to have that wish because I will always be there for them. I am 43 and have just finally excepted my dad for who he is and excepted the fact that he will never be the dad I want, nor will he ever have a big part in my life or the lives of my kids and I am finally ok with that. But it is sad that he will never know what he has missed out on, oblivion must be nice.
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JeffB
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #9 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 1:26pm » |
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Thanks dad for the humor you have instilled in us kids. Thanks for the conversations we would have even late into the night. Thanks for raising us in so many wonderful states and countries and teaching us about respect and understanding which still held true in my military years. Thanks for not breaking my bongs but just leaving them on top of the garbage cans so I would get the message. Thanks for the chevy luv, chevelle, mgb, and Nissan 4x4. And thanks for the ride to the airport for my flight to boot camp soon after I t-boned another car with my Nissan 4x4. Thanks for spanking the crap out of me in the 5th grade over a few firecrackers (not a very nice person). Thanks for everything!
Can't wait to see my dad next week in Raleigh(where I expect to ask him for money...he he he) GOOD OR BAD, WE NEED DADS! Now go out and get him a Sirius Radio.
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Donna_D.
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #10 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 1:28pm » |
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My dad taught me some very valuable life's lessons, such as...
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim....
 errr..wait...that was Jim Croce
Seriously though...my Dad instilled in me a good work ethic (he was ALWAYS at work), he taught me to always leave a campsite cleaner than what I found it, he led by example by never throwing trash out of the car window, he also taught me to never back up my car any further than I needed to go forward (that little gem has saved me from bumping another car on more than one occasion).
I think the most valuable lesson my Dad gave me was the day he brought home my first car. He paid the 500 dollars down on a 1976 Toyota Celica and I had to pay out the rest of the balance from the earnings and my car insurance I made at my full time job (I was 16). I remember him pulling it into the driveway and being sooooo excited. I jumped into the driver's seat waiting for him to get in and give me my first driving lesson (it was a stick shift-he insisted my first car be a stick so I would always know how to drive one). My Dad proceeded to walk around the car and stop at the back tire where he then let the air out!! He told me when I could change the tire, I could drive the car and he walked into the house.
My mom swears he was watching out the window the whole time I struggled with the screw jack and the lug nuts and he thought I was going to drop the car on myself more than once, but somehow I struggled through and did it. I know this much, I have never had to ask for help to change a tire since, and when I bring home my kids first car...I believe the family tradition will continue 
DD
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Melissa
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I thank my father for giving up his parental rights.
I thank my adopted Dad for finally...FINALLY, realizing just what a great daughter he has in me before it was too late. 
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Charlotte
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #12 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 3:42pm » |
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I'm very fortunate in the Dad department. Mine is still here, and I still think he is the smartest, nicest guy I know.
Charlotte
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BarbaraD
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #13 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 4:01pm » |
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My dad taught me to have a sense of humor in almost everything. And he was always there when someone was in trouble.
AFter dad had been dead several years a family friend died and his brother (the undertaker) called to let me know about it. He started talking about Dad and it seems that when he was a kid (about 16) he got in some trouble and ended up in jail one night. His mom called my Dad very upset. Dad told her to calm down he'd handle it. He went to the police station, got the kid out of jail and took him down to a friend who owned a funeral home and told him to put the kid to work. That was the last time the kid got in trouble and he went on to make a mortician and have a succesful life. No one except Dad and him ever knew what happened.
But any time I got in trouble (which was frequenly) Dad was always there to get me out of it (without me knowing he was doing it most of the time). He'd just tell me I broke the 11th commandment (Thou Shalt Not Get Caught) and laugh about it while he was grounding me. His best friends were the DA and the District Judge, so I've gotten a few lectures from them about what happens to hardened criminals, but lectures were all I ever got. I always knew Dad would be there.
But even when he was dying, his last words were, "What was the score of the Cowboy game?" He died owing me a buck and I could laugh about that - it was Dad.
Dale Carnegie said, "You can judge a man's worth when he dies - if the undertaker is sad, he's lived a good life." Mom and I were conforting the undertaker at dad's funeral. He broke down completely. Guess that says something for the life he lived.
And I still miss the old goat -- we loved to argue.
That was my dad....
BD
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minnie
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #14 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 4:07pm » |
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my dad is the very best.He is funny and nice. He plays with us.And he tickles us.   He tucks us into bed at night. He is special.
April
BillyJ's daughter
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Kris_in_SJ
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #15 on: Jun 14th, 2006, 8:00pm » |
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Thank you Dad ...
For teaching me how to drive a stick-shift. You might not have been the greatest in some departments, but your patience during all those hours of lurching and jerking down the country roads still makes me smile.
Kris
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Ree
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #16 on: Jun 15th, 2006, 12:50am » |
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Well you all know I lost my Dad last year the day after Father's day. He could have died on Father's Day it all depended on I gave permission and they turned off his life support... to put such a responsibility on a daughter is unbearable. My brother kept saying "He can't die on Father's Day". So for my brother... Dad suffered another day, so we could have a Father on Father's day. The next day I went and turned off the respirator.... my friend Joyce was there with me. I stood there as my Daddy took his last breaths....
There wasn't a gentler man in the country....He loved me like NO man ever will and I miss him desperately...
Father's Day will be Dave Day now.... The poem I read at Dads funeral is here:
My father walks to Heavens gate
And leaves his cane behind
Pains fire has now lost its burn
He is now clear of mind
The fear he had, now cast aside
Past family draws near
For now Dad sits inside God’s heart
And he is waiting there
A gentle man of stature
With eyes of the greenest sea
I’ll find those in my daughter now
And who she’ll grow to be
A funny man so witty
So quick to steal a smile
I’ll see now in my nieces
Though it might take a while
His love for sports, his zest for life
My nephews and my sons
Are strong and just examples
Of a “Grampy” that they love
The pride he held for all his kids
His brothers and his bride
Made my dad the man he was
With a heart so big and wide
So, if your looking for my dad
No longer here I trust
He’s left himself in little bits
In every one of us.
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pfunk
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I'd have to say my father was the best one could ever wish for. He was the kindest, nicest man. That is not to say that we didn't get spankings or punishments but , I will say that I never got one I didn't deserve. My dad taught me everything. I learned from him the ins and outs of the family business as well as what I need to get through life. In 2000, my father passed after a long bout with heart problems(I was 30 years old). AT that point I thought my life was over; I didn't know how I could do it without him. But, another thing he taught me was to always be strong. In his own special way he told me that it was my turn. I was the one who would take care of my mom and younger brother. It took some time but I have gotten used to him not being here physically but always I know that he is here. Since he left us, the businesses he left for me sre going great(we'll be opening a new shop w/in the next 6 months), my brother has graduated from college and gotten married, Mom is going to move to Chicago to be closer to my bro and I will finally be graduating in May 2007 and plan to marry a fewmonths after. My biggest regret is that he will not be here for the wedding. My plan was for him to be my best man. After all he is the "best man" I will ever know. I never knew my biological father and Dad adopted me at 3. He never let let me feel any less than is real son and I am forever, eternally greatful to him for what he gave us. One other sort of cool thing is that my dad and I never had a fight(argument or otherwise). We had small disagreements but never a fight. 30 years and never a fight.
Love your Dad!!!
Pfunk
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Charlie
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #18 on: Jun 15th, 2006, 11:37pm » |
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Wow. Minnie... you dad reminds me of my dad. There is a resemblance.
He was a great guy.....very quiet and wasn't a touchy-feely type but I understood it. I was much the same way back then.
He's been gone a long time....
Charlie
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Charlotte
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #19 on: Jun 16th, 2006, 11:00am » |
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My husband got a father's day card from my dad, yesterday. It said, "To a son-in-law that made this family what it is." You open it, and it says, "If you're gonna be part of this family, you have to share the blame."
Cracked me up.
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Richr8
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Re: To the Dad's
« Reply #20 on: Jun 16th, 2006, 12:56pm » |
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on Jun 14th, 2006, 12:57pm, Mattrf wrote:| I wish I had a good story about my dad but my parents divorced when I was young and my dad even though he lived maybe 15 miles away was an absentee dad at best. |
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Ditto, I was four when mine left. Prior to that I only remember him coming home drunk and beatting my mom on a regular basis. He never hit me, but of course mom ran right out out and got an evil stepdad to handle that. He not only drank, but did drugs, was bisexual, raped my sister, and beat all of us. Big improvement!
On the bright side, my kids have only known a supportive, nurturing and loving father who is always there. I am very proud of that having had such a rough start and poor role models myself. I broke the pattern in the next generation which is pretty amazing statistically.
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| « Last Edit: Jun 16th, 2006, 1:01pm by Richr8 » |
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pf wishes,
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...because yesterday is history and you never know what tomorrow will bring.
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