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Topic: The Republican Fisherman (Read 238 times) |
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BlueMeanie
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The Republican Fisherman
« on: May 31st, 2006, 6:44pm » |
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A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a fisherman in a boat. She shouted to him: "Excuse me, can you help me ? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees. 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
She rolled her eyes and said: "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know ?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with the information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded. "You must be a democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know ?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you where before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."
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Jonny
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Re: The Republican Fisherman
« Reply #1 on: May 31st, 2006, 6:53pm » |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Tom K
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Re: The Republican Fisherman
« Reply #2 on: May 31st, 2006, 7:16pm » |
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That...is fawking hysterical!!!! 
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"America, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind. America, America."-Bart Simpson
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maffumatt
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Re: The Republican Fisherman
« Reply #3 on: May 31st, 2006, 7:18pm » |
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Charlie
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Re: The Republican Fisherman
« Reply #4 on: May 31st, 2006, 8:44pm » |
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Lewis Black says that the only thing worse than Democrats and Republicans is when they work together.
Charlie
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| « Last Edit: May 31st, 2006, 8:45pm by Charlie » |
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Sean_C
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Re: The Republican Fisherman
« Reply #5 on: May 31st, 2006, 9:57pm » |
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ROTFLMMFAO
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zwibbs/Scott
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Re: The Republican Fisherman
« Reply #6 on: Jun 1st, 2006, 6:03am » |
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And then Dick Cheney shot her down, while duck hunting
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BobG
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Re: The Republican Fisherman
« Reply #7 on: Jun 1st, 2006, 6:44am » |
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on Jun 1st, 2006, 6:03am, zwibbs/Scott wrote:| And then Dick Cheney shot her down, while duck hunting |
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Then the Bush League sent out a news bulletin
"She was a terrorist and had snuck a cigerette lighter on board. There were indications she was on a mission to use her aircraft as a missle to harm peace loving Americans"
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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Tom K
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Re: The Republican Fisherman
« Reply #8 on: Jun 1st, 2006, 8:13am » |
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on Jun 1st, 2006, 6:44am, BobG wrote:
Then the Bush League sent out a news bulletin
"She was a terrorist and had snuck a cigerette lighter on board. There were indications she was on a mission to use her aircraft as a missle to harm peace loving Americans" |
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"America, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind. America, America."-Bart Simpson
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