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Topic: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my life (Read 274 times) |
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Tara Ann
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A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my life
« on: May 29th, 2006, 9:32pm » |
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Copied from my blog/online journal (I don't mention my PTSD cause I am embarassed about it)
I'm 29 yrs old and applying for social security disabilty. This is a depressing thing. I have been having serious issues with Cluster Headaches and migraines for years now, actually since before I had children. I also have issues with fibromyalgia and a half assed lupus dx (I have to follow up on that one). This paragraph makes me sound like a basket case/hypochondriac but I"m not. I actually deal pretty well with these painful issues. There was a time I really was a mess with all this stuff. So I really can say with confidence that I'm pretty strong with dealing with pain now.
Both my children will be in school in the fall. Toni will be 5 and Sammie is 6. I have LOVED being a stay at home mom BUT also was looking forward to when I could pursue a career outside my home. I'm afraid of what my future holds (as a women not as a mother) I want to be proud of myself, to have accomplishments all my own, separate from my home life. If I am legally labelled disabled what then???
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gore2424
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Re: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my lif
« Reply #1 on: May 29th, 2006, 9:47pm » |
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Hang in there taraann I still have a life on SSD I drive when I can and even mow my yard and my dads on good days I do take naps a lot cause of the pain meds I am on but I have a life and you will too once you get SSD Also when applying make sure you mention every thing that is wrong dont hold back nothing the more you give them all the info it will help when they make a decision. Terry
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what the hamsalad was that ¿?¿
I said your hair looks nice Ü
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nani
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Re: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my lif
« Reply #2 on: May 29th, 2006, 11:26pm » |
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on May 29th, 2006, 9:32pm, taraann wrote:If I am legally labelled disabled what then???
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Work and mothering aren't the only ways women can define themselves, TA. There is so much available to us now. Creative pursuits, meaningful volunteerism, personal growth... We tend to compartmentalize ourselves, and forget that we are fluid. Find something you love, or feel strongly about and put yourself out there. You'll have nothing to lose and everything to gain. 
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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Tara Ann
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It's always darkest before the dawn.
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Re: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my lif
« Reply #3 on: May 30th, 2006, 7:54am » |
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Thanks guys. I actually did some soul searching with Sam last night and he made a good point. I have been writing poetry again lately and I'm going to take some classes and maybe compile a book or try to get a few of my poems published. Your right nani, and I think maybe writing will be my "it" something I can feel proud of myself for.
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Cathi04
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Re: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my lif
« Reply #4 on: May 30th, 2006, 7:56am » |
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TaraAnn, I think you just might have a skewed idea of the value of a human.
For starters, you should know I was 'nothing but a Mommie" for my childrens' first 6 yrs. as well. At that point, I did take a job at their school, because I was fortunate. I was not a major income producer. I was still a homemaker. I threw as much energy into that as Gil did making a living for us. Was he more valuable, since he was out in the working world? NO, we BOTH had our jobs.
That's NO different from where you are right now I KNOW you want soo much to get ahead in life-and you will! You do, however, need to work within the limitations you have. Be proud of what you accomplish. Make sure you understand the value of a mom who is home to greet her children-and revel in that luxury..and take care of your head.........and accomplish everything you can. Be proud of yourself. You are soo much more than a damn headache, T.
Hugs always available 
Cathi
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
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Melissa
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Re: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my lif
« Reply #5 on: May 30th, 2006, 8:27am » |
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I used to think of a multitude of things I could do to "make money". But never did I really think of what makes me happy. One day I was just sitting here thinking about what I love to do, that is fun and that I look forward to, and that was decorating. Well, one thing led to another and now I'm going to be going into business for myself as a Balloon Decorator. And I'm not looking to get rich off of it. I'm looking to fill my time with something fun that I can take my kid to, feel some value & esteem in the working world, and make a few bucks on the side.... Ok, MORE than a few. 
Anyway, I have been a stay at home mom for quite a few years. I always felt I was less of a person than those who went to a job outside the home. But when I stop to think about it, being a mom is a 24/7 job. I had to schedule everyone's appointments (this is all including my husband), get up in the middle of the night to change sheets or bring a bucket, or just stay up with one of them, pick up and go whenever my husband had time off, basically schedule MY LIFE around all of theirs. NOT an easy thing to do. PLUS, I am a good cook, so hubby would get spoiled with gourmet meals.
Anyway, since I've been at home I've enriched my mind 150% by all the reading I've done and taught myself things that others just can't do. I am a well rounded person, open minded, intelligent and cultured, even tho I may have never traveled outside the U.S. (I've been to Canada, but that doesn't count, LOL)
We can do anything we want to, and to feel self fullfilled as a woman we need to just bite the bullet and try it.
I know, too wordy of a post and many tangents... but my intentions are in the right place! LOL
hugs,
melly
BTW, I'm going to put my post in my blog now.
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| « Last Edit: May 30th, 2006, 8:29am by Melissa » |
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Tara Ann
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It's always darkest before the dawn.
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Re: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my lif
« Reply #6 on: Jun 1st, 2006, 4:18am » |
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Hey, yah know what? Those are some wonderful new ways of looking at things. I get caught up in the basics and lose sight of the whole picture. Yes I am more than a damn headache, I forget that, and Yes I am more than a mommy/wife, I forget that too. I am proud of being a mommy, and I am actually proud of how well I deal with CH and everything now. I am begining to feel proud of my poems, I am proud of my ideas and how even my Mother in law calls me for advice and help on various things. SPeaking of MIL even she is supportive of me applying for SS, and her advice to me is to volunteer somewhere (maybe the school).
Melissa, WOW awesome good for you!!!! Great huge vibes thta you are a HUGE success (and you make a bundle of cash lol)!
Yah know, you all said some very great things here, great stuff for me to think about.
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BarbaraD
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Re: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my lif
« Reply #7 on: Jun 1st, 2006, 6:43am » |
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Mel,
"Stay at home mom" is NOT PC anymore don't you know..... You've been an Executive Administrator and Transportation Coordinator to a closely held company.  (Think about it -- you probably worked harder than most who go to a "job" every day and your kids benefited from it.
Being a mom is the hardest job anyone will ever do. Been there done that and now am doing it again (had more energy as a mom) as a granny. My little Caleb stays with me about 12 hours a day and we're learning all kinds of things that he wasn't learning in pre-school (don't get me started on those). He knows that Granny has clients that she has to do work for and "helps" me with "our" clients. He asks a million questions a day (to which I have answers to about 100).
Great that you've found something you really like to do and can make a buck doing it. And your kids are "involved" - that's the best thing. Since my son was born I've always worked and had him with me. So did my mom, so he grew up with working parents and grandparents and learned what was acceptable and what was not in a business enviroment (well, for the most part).
Granny's headaches are just a part of our everyday business. He knows where the O2 is and can get it out faster than I can. He knows Granny will be ok in a little while, but to leave her alone till she is.
And Tarraann - take Mel's advice and do something you really enjoy. 29 is a great age (I've been there for years). You've got about 40 years to pursue a career if you want to and if you're labled disabled - then find something to do that doesn't show up on the old income tax (or put it in your husband's name). The headaches are a fact of life that we can't do anything about - and it seems you're dealing with them relatively well.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do.
Hugs BD
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Dave_Emond
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Re: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my lif
« Reply #8 on: Jun 1st, 2006, 10:38pm » |
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Couldn't agree more with Mel and Barb!
Only thing I feel I should add is, that if you do find a job that pays and affects your income ... don't hide it from the SSA ... even if it is cash. The SSA does more checking up on those on SSDI than most would think, or even know about.
Got to keep completely honest with the SSA or you risk losing your SSDI.
You are allowed to make extra income, in fact, without making extra, SSDI won't cover just your basic monthly bills. They just don't pay much. But, they will help you make extra income by many programs (if you can do them) and also offer training they will pay for, if it is an area you feel you can do.
I filled out some forms (which any of us should do) that got me a "Ticket To Work" and won't affect my benefits.
While I still could, this allowed me to continue in the flooring business, reporting ALL income. Of course, I also reported the overhead, taxes, material costs, etc, etc.
Now that I can't do "physical" work anymore, I'm hoping they can find something for me in computers that I can do from home in my own time slots. Set hours just won't work for me anymore, neither will traveling to set hours classes. So I'm not an easy case, but do need to find extra income somewhere or I'll be bankrupt within 2 months.
Watch out for scams ... darn ... I even went as far as almost getting caught up in the "Envelope Stuffing" scam. Watch out for "Work from Home" offers, haven't come across one yet that wasn't a scam. Letting the SSA find me something that isn't a scam ... still waiting.
All in all though, couldn't agree more that "Homemaker" with family is the hardest job out there ... mainly because there is no completion! 24/7 without the reward of ever getting to say "I'm done!"
Look for something, but report everything honestly. Don't risk losing your little benefits you'll get for a possible few extra dollars. The SSA wants to see you attempt toward self sufficiency and allows you to make up to a certain amount (they'll tell you how much you can earn) ... but don't ... please don't lie to them, you stand to lose everything if you do.
Take care,
Dave
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Obstacles are those frightful things we see when we take our minds off our goals.
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Tara Ann
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It's always darkest before the dawn.
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Re: A few of my thoughts/feelings on SS and my lif
« Reply #9 on: Jun 2nd, 2006, 9:13am » |
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I'm more worried about losing the insurance once I get it....I will definately remain honest with them about work...and Ihad heard about the training they offer. So I'm definately wanting to look into that when the time comes. I would love to take a couple courses, have wanted to for a long long time.
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